Does anyone else get made fun of and have kids displaying intimidating behaviour...

[Ross_K]

towards them?

 

And when I say kids I don't just mean like 17 and 18 year olds, I mean even 13 year olds.

 

I'm just wondering that in the areas where this kind of stuff happens, if it happens to most people or only easy targets who have very low social status's in the types of areas where this usually happens.

 

Thanks.

[SmoochieFace]

towards them?

 

And when I say kids I don't just mean like 17 and 18 year olds, I mean even 13 year olds.

 

I'm just wondering that in the areas where this kind of stuff happens, if it happens to most people or only easy targets who have very low social status's in the types of areas where this usually happens.

 

Thanks.

 

Give us a scenario. Details please.

[Ross_K]

I take it it happens to no one else then?

 

Oh well, I guess I am just a total loser to be made fun of and bullied.

[Brittanyjean06]

how old are you, and how are kids bullying you? Don't let them do this to you...easier said than done.

[Ross_K]

how old are you, and how are kids bullying you? Don't let them do this to you...easier said than done.

 

I'm 30.

 

Here's what's happening, I'm always getting made fun of or harrased by young people whenever I go out on my own, this can be anything from a couple of thugs calling me a ****ing nobhead, a pair of 14 year old girls staring me out and not moving out of my way when I'm walking past them so I actually have to walk off the pavement and onto the road around them, being purposley bumped into by some 14 year old kid looking at me with a smirk on his face, and even getting approached infront of my house by a couple of kids and one had a golf club in his hand which he was holding in an intimidating way as though he was going to hit me with it, they were only like 10 and 12 years of age.

 

I'll only go out with my mum because it never seems to happen then, and usually I'll get a taxi to go to where ever I go.

 

This is mainly why I don't have a life.

 

In my old area where stuff like this hardly ever happened, I was no where near as bad as how I am now. I always had friends, I could get a job, I could go out feeling quite comfortable on my own.

[SmoochieFace]

I take it it happens to no one else then?

 

Oh well, I guess I am just a total loser to be made fun of and bullied.

 

If you would quit feeling sorry for yourself then perhaps you would be less of a target.

[dgiirl]

Ross, once again, I think you are taking the situation personally. Yes, I've walked past a group of kids only to hear them burst out laughing as I passed. Were they laughing at me? Or were they just all giddy, like kids normally are, and laughing at nothing? Who knows, who cares! I've even had a group of guys pass me and bark at me and say "kinda ugly". They were mean and a bunch of dumbasses trying to impress one another. Who cares! They're only going to be in my life for 5 seconds as they pass me, why waste time worrying about what they think and let them make me unhappy? I've even walked down a street only to have a bunch of kids block the way. I tower down over them and say excuse me. You teach people how to treat you, and it seems this is a reoccuring problem with you. If you dont want to be bullied, then dont let them bully you. Again, I go back to my comment yesterday about egotistim. You think you are so abnormal from everyone else and think that people's actions are directed directly at you.

[Ross_K]

You teach people how to treat you, and it seems this is a reoccuring problem with you. If you dont want to be bullied, then dont let them bully you.

 

I haven't got the courage to stand up for myself. I've tried to in the past but it always backfires on me, and the other person or people come off looking better, which just makes me feel way worse.

 

Plus some guys would beat me up, and as for the kids, well, it wouldn't surprise me if they got an older guy that they know on me or something.

[lindya]

Kids love to take the piss out of adults. For some groups of young thugs, the prospect of walking past someone without hurling out a few choice insults would be unthinkable. Especially if the person's giving off a nervous vibe (children sniff fear out like beagles smell foxes).

 

I've had that situation where a group of 14 year old girls walk towards me and make it clear that I'm expected to step onto the road to pass them. Depending on my mood and my assessment of theirs, I either just step onto the road or politely say "excuse me" (in which case they've always just politely answered "sorry" and moved to let me past).

 

Remember what it's like at that age. They're on a constant mission to impress their mates and avoid humiliation - and often they'll focus their annoying behaviour on adults because it's safer (most adults will just choose to ignore them rather than get into some kind of ridiculous slanging match).

What they usually respond to well is a calm, good humoured vibe. Unthreatening and unthreatened.

 

You're going to need to practice tuning things out and learning techniques to control the physical symptoms of your anxiety, Ross. Have you ever got involved in any martial arts activities? That might be a good way of learning to control your reactions and responding more calmly to potentially intimidating situations.

[stoopid_guy]

Have you ever got involved in any martial arts activities? That might be a good way of learning to control your reactions and responding more calmly to potentially intimidating situations.

That sounds like an excellent suggestion.

[quietintrovertgirl]

Ross,

 

I would love to talk to your bullies because i want to know why you're their target.

[Brittanyjean06]

I do think you are taking it rather personal. So It's just the younger generation making fun of you? Don't know if anyone covered what I'm about to say but I'll add it any way. Those girls were probaly too busy gossiping or complimenting eachother to even notice you were walking past them. Plus their young, and some : young : don't have manners. I don't know what that kid was thinking when he was on your yard with a base ball bat, but kids are just idiots and do things for shiz and giggles.

 

When I was a young'n say about 8 up to 12, me and my neighborhood buddies would stalk the spanish people who were doing work on our yard. We would hide in leafs and jump out and scare them and just do stupid crazy things. Also me and my other little friend would go around with walky talkys and see if the people in the neighborhood were doing anything suspcious. Also I would go to peoples houses and put barbie dolls clothes on thier door, ring the door bell and run away.

 

lol I miss those days actually, I think you are defiently over exagerating. But if this is your reason for not going out, than you are letting this take over your life. These are people not YOU, people. Heck do some funny things back.

[blind_otter]

I read a story similar to yours, Ross, in a book written by a dude that I really admire, spiritually, about a man who walked about very gloomy and upset, and who was rightly so -- he would get picked on a lot, and pushed around.

 

In the end though, what he did was to re-frame the way he looked at the world. It's sort of like a self-fulfilling prophecy. You may have experienced a few situations where the kids really were beingrude and bullying, and then from then on, even when there was a vague suggestion of that threatening behavior, you assume the threat is real and present again.

 

I dunno, something to think about. I talked about perception versus reality with my shrink today.

[bluechocolate]

Ross, what was it like for you going to school?

 

Slightly on topic now - I can think of one incident that happened to me not too long ago in the car park of a major supermarket chain, about 10.30pm. Bunch of kids hanging about, obviously had been drinking, made lots of comments towards me as I walked to my car. No big deal. Really. It was mildly frightening, dark car-park, etc. but the shop was just there if things had got out of hand. I got in my car & drove away, thinking, "hmm... I could run all those little bastard over now!". Sadly I didn't.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I didn't react, I didn't flinch, I didn't even look at them. No doubt they could have clobbered me into the ground if they wanted to, but they didn't.

 

On second thought I guess what I'm trying to say is this:

You're going to need to practice tuning things out and learning techniques to control the physical symptoms of your anxiety, Ross.

[tanbark813]

How big are you? Maybe it's time to hit the gym.

[quietintrovertgirl]

I wonder why these devil's children don't bully Ross's mom.

 

Tanbark813 i just realize you live in California(Bay area).Hey I live in Northern California too.

[tanbark813]

Tanbark813 i just realize you live in California(Bay area).Hey I live in Northern California too.

 

Cool, what part? I live in Mountain View myself.

[stoopid_guy]

How big are you? Maybe it's time to hit the gym.

There's a lot to be said for just carrying yourself with confidence. For a man, "bulking out" and realizing just how much damage you could do to another person helps. That's why I liked Lindya's martial arts suggestion too, but it's no substitute for how you carry yourself.

 

(Ross, if I know you, you're going to ask "how is that?" Watch a few Clint Eastwood movies for a prime example. )

 

I wonder why these devil's children don't bully Ross's mom.

I'll bet because his mom has a "take no crap" manner. My mother was like that, wonderful mother but when she got angry it was almost as if fire would shoot from her eyes. You just knew she'd knock you for a loop and enjoy it.

[Ross_K]

I do think you are taking it rather personal. So It's just the younger generation making fun of you? Don't know if anyone covered what I'm about to say but I'll add it any way. Those girls were probaly too busy gossiping or complimenting eachother to even notice you were walking past them.

 

They were giving a cold stare right at me.

 

Ross, what was it like for you going to school?

 

As far as how people treated me it wasn't too bad.

 

How big are you? Maybe it's time to hit the gym.

 

Dunno really, I already work out. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I look (at least to me) pretty built, but then usually when I move up close to the mirror, I look like I don't really have any build.

 

Here's a pic of my upper body, http://www.geocities.com/rosspk0/arm001.jpg

 

There's a lot to be said for just carrying yourself with confidence. For a man, "bulking out" and realizing just how much damage you could do to another person helps. That's why I liked Lindya's martial arts suggestion too, but it's no substitute for how you carry yourself.

 

(Ross, if I know you, you're going to ask "how is that?" Watch a few Clint Eastwood movies for a prime example. )

 

I know I'd be able to destroy a 14 year old kid, but it's still the fact that they do what they do to me that bothers me, and I really don't have any confidence to do anything back, that and there can be repercussions from doing so.

 

I'll bet because his mom has a "take no crap" manner. My mother was like that, wonderful mother but when she got angry it was almost as if fire would shoot from her eyes. You just knew she'd knock you for a loop and enjoy it.

 

It's because of what I explained in the other topic. People will feel less inclined to do something if you're with someone, especially an older woman or a little kid.

[quietintrovertgirl]

Ross,

How come nobody messes with your mom?I would expect some of these bullies to say something to her.

[Ross_K]

It's because she's a woman and a much older person.

[littlekitty]

I read a story similar to yours, Ross, in a book written by a dude that I really admire, spiritually, about a man who walked about very gloomy and upset, and who was rightly so -- he would get picked on a lot, and pushed around.

 

In the end though, what he did was to re-frame the way he looked at the world. It's sort of like a self-fulfilling prophecy. You may have experienced a few situations where the kids really were beingrude and bullying, and then from then on, even when there was a vague suggestion of that threatening behavior, you assume the threat is real and present again.

 

I dunno, something to think about. I talked about perception versus reality with my shrink today.

 

Ross... re-read this again. This was very sensible advice. You have to change, for these things to change. Are you willing to make a change?

 

I've had teenage girls force me to walk on the road. I've even had one refuse to get out of my way in the supermarket. I tell you what, that 14 yr old cow was bigger than me!! Know what I did? I pushed past and bashed her with my basket!! Serves her right. She shouted something rude and pathetic after me. But she wasn't about to bust my chops, so who gives a ***?! I'm not big, I'm not scary, but I will not be pushed around. Not by anyone. Why? Because I spent to many years already doing that and being bullied.

[emmaUK]

OH i think its normal. i always get things like that happen. its jsut what the little dicks in the uk do.

 

i had a younge guy come up to me one day and say

"if someone came up to you and told you that u were the prettiest girl they'd seen all day... they'd be lying"

 

ive people shout out car windows at me.... people shouting "pig" "dog" "fat ass" across the street.

ive had people give me dirty looks and scowl at me n stuff

 

actually its got a little less since i have my daughter in the push chair with me but i think its normal... kids these days jsut wanna make themselves feel big and hard by trying to intimidate other people

[littlekitty]

i think its normal... kids these days jsut wanna make themselves feel big and hard by trying to intimidate other people

 

So true. And just imagine how old people feel? It must be terribly fightening for them.

[Spiderman]

Just giv 'em a back good back hander, should do the trick. Little sods need to learn some respect, the old fashion way.