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The Ups and Downs


Alone1234

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I really do hope that things work out for you two and I am glad that you are trying to change. If you don't mind me asking you this, how is your son handleing all of this? I mean does he know why you separated for the time being? I was just wondering.

Thanks for the support Alone12234 it mean a lot to me that you are pulling for us.

I think my son is doing well, we had talked a lot to him before the W left and told him many times that he had nothing to do with it & we both still love him very much, but his mom & dad are just seeing things differently and we need some time to figure things out. The only things he did say to me when we talked once was he thought it sucked and he never thought it would happen to his mom & dad. He is 16 so he isn't small so he understands some of it I think but it is still hard on him even if he doesn't show it.

We took him a few years ago to a lady that helps kids with focusing on school and so the W has taken him a couple times to see her so he knows if he ever needs to talk to someone he can call her and he does like her so he won't be afraid to call if he needed to. I guess she was impressed on the answers he gave her and thought he was doing well. The W only lives a mile away so he goes back and forth each week and he knows if he decides he would rather spend time more at one place then the other he can do that.

Enjoy your time alone while the H is gone. I have heard that from a few people so I thought I would pass it on to you.

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I think my son is doing well, we had talked a lot to him before the W left and told him many times that he had nothing to do with it & we both still love him very much, but his mom & dad are just seeing things differently and we need some time to figure things out. The only things he did say to me when we talked once was he thought it sucked and he never thought it would happen to his mom & dad. He is 16 so he isn't small so he understands some of it I think but it is still hard on him even if he doesn't show it.

 

Enjoy your time alone while the H is gone. I have heard that from a few people so I thought I would pass it on to you.

 

Yeah if that happend to me when I was that age I would probably think the same way. Yeah my H left today. Hopefully time apart is what we needed but you never know. He's with HIS friends and his parents so God knows what their saying about me. He still wasn't really talking to me today so my guess he is mad. Used a lot of short answers with me Probably just having having one of those tempertantrums (so babyish) that he does when he doesn't get his own way.:laugh:

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The weekend is about over so I was just wondering how your weekend went Alone1234??????

Hopefully you were able to spend a little quite time by yourself and enjoy the piece and quite without worrying about your H.....

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The weekend is about over so I was just wondering how your weekend went Alone1234??????

Hopefully you were able to spend a little quite time by yourself and enjoy the piece and quite without worrying about your H.....

 

Heck ya it there was peace and quite. It was nice. He did call me a lot to tell me he was bord and such but I don't see how he could have been. His friends and family was with him so who knows. But yes I did enjoy my weekend. He came back today and was in an ok mood. Just tired from the driving so that was understandable. So I'll just have to wait and see what happends now that we were apart for a couple of days. We haven't done that in such a long time. Hope everything is going fine with you and your wife.

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Hope everything is going fine with you and your wife.

I emailed her Friday for the first time in a month about a couple things and now after thinking about it I wish I wouldn't have done it. The things I asked her about either she won't care about (what I was going to do to help my boy get his drivers license and about canceling a credit card) or wonder why I was asking her?

Anyway I did read something on the Internet and it said that if we are as far apart as I feel we are that it could take up to six months or longer so I guess I need to think as it that way. It did say something that I agree on; it said not to rush it and make sure to work everything out before moving back in with each other.

 

I know just the weekend won't give your H enough time but hopefully he was able to maybe think about some things and if he does realize you are being hurt then maybe he will start working on things.

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I emailed her Friday for the first time in a month about a couple things and now after thinking about it I wish I wouldn't have done it. The things I asked her about either she won't care about (what I was going to do to help my boy get his drivers license and about canceling a credit card) or wonder why I was asking her?

Anyway I did read something on the Internet and it said that if we are as far apart as I feel we are that it could take up to six months or longer so I guess I need to think as it that way. It did say something that I agree on; it said not to rush it and make sure to work everything out before moving back in with each other.

 

I know just the weekend won't give your H enough time but hopefully he was able to maybe think about some things and if he does realize you are being hurt then maybe he will start working on things.

 

Yeah I know the weekend won't do it. I kind of dropped it now( what happend to us before he left). I probably shouldn't have but I can't stay mad at him for a long time. Eventually I just give in and let it go. I think thats probably my problem. I just let him off the hook. But its so hard to stay mad or what not at him. I just can't.

 

Anyhow after a while of searching for the abuse cycle thing,I know that I don't walk around on egg shells as its put. I know that I try not to make him angry so maybe thats it but I think that my situation isn't as bad. Or what I normally have been doing lately is if I see him getting annoyed or what not I just try to do the quick fix so I don't have to hear it. I do whatever I can so I don't have to hear it but sometimes I just can't take it. Which is why I said something and to be honest he didn't know what to say because I normally don't say anything. But well see.

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I don't think I would just do what he says because that is just what he wants you to do. If it is something you don't want to do make sure and tell him. I wish my W would have stood up and told me her feelings because I might not be where I'm at now. Don't just tell him know, but tell him in a nice way that this is how I have done it and if he likes it different then he can do it himself. (say it nice, I don't do well at saying things nice yet)

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How are things going?

 

Ok I guess. He's starting to go back to his old ways again but mostly he just has a problem with me leaving. Today we were coming back from the store and he asked me what I was doing today so I told him that I wanted to go somewhere and he asked me why and then he said that I was only making this harder on myself and that it bugs him. I don't know what he was talking about so I just changed the subject. He was kind of in a bad mood today so I'm just leaving him alone. Its best to do that. We went up north yesterday together and that was a lot of fun. I guess that I just don't get it because when we go somewhere like far away from our town he is in the best mood ever. Then when we get home hes not. So I don't know but thats where I'm at.

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