a4a Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 H has asked for a list of examples of things to do for me that would make me happy. I am having a difficult time with this list as each item I think of I seem to ponder over the details.....and I don't want to ask him to make a total wussy out of himself...... so men what things do you do or would you be willing to do for your SO in a romantic sense? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Why not just print out a few of your postings from here? Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 This seemed to go down well in another thread I'll send her flowers I'll cuddle her I'll kiss her sensually, without me intentionally wanting it to lead to sex I'll tell her I love her, I respect her and am proud of her. I'll tidy the house on sporadic intervals in her absence I'll leave little notes for her. I'll ask her how to do something, even if I know I can do it, just to make her feel good. I'll smile at her when she looks at me I'll listen to her I'll run her a bath I'll hold her hand I'll ask how she's feeling I'll let her chose the movie I'll buy her a gift I'll let her chose what we watch on the TV, every so often!! & I'll try not subject her to too much football! In a nut shell I'll just basically let her know I care... Just small insignificant daily gestures, that's all it takes! Hope this helps Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Ha! I was about to say I'm sure Spidy could help...!! Link to post Share on other sites
superconductor Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 I'll send her flowers I'll cuddle her I'll kiss her sensually, without me intentionally wanting it to lead to sex I'll tell her I love her, I respect her and am proud of her. I'll tidy the house on sporadic intervals in her absence I'll leave little notes for her. I'll ask her how to do something, even if I know I can do it, just to make her feel good. I'll smile at her when she looks at me I'll listen to her I'll run her a bath I'll hold her hand I'll ask how she's feeling I'll let her chose the movie I'll buy her a gift I'll let her chose what we watch on the TV, every so often!! & I'll try not subject her to too much football! In a nut shell I'll just basically let her know I care... Just small insignificant daily gestures, that's all it takes! ... and, if she's anything like my ex, she'll STILL kick you in the teeth. Do I sound bitter? Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted September 5, 2006 Author Share Posted September 5, 2006 The ones in bold I get already. Looking for things that would take more planning and effort really but would not make a guy feel like a wussy putting the plan together. I'll send her flowers brings them home I'll cuddle her I'll kiss her sensually, without me intentionally wanting it to lead to sex I'll tell her I love her, I respect her and am proud of her. I'll tidy the house on sporadic intervals in her absence I'll leave little notes for her. I'll ask her how to do something, even if I know I can do it, just to make her feel good. (don't care about that) I'll smile at her when she looks at me I'll listen to her I'll run her a bath I'll hold her hand at home an in car I'll ask how she's feeling I'll let her chose the movie I'll buy her a gift very very rare I'll let her chose what we watch on the TV, every so often!! Just small insignificant daily gestures, that's all it takes! Makes coffee and dinner from time to time. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 H has asked for a list of examples of things to do for me that would make me happy.I'm trying to imagine Mrs. Moose and I having a list like this. I suppose it would work for some people....for a while anyway. Personally I can't see myself going off a list, and I've never heard of a couple having one.....I am having a difficult time with this list as each item I think of I seem to ponder over the details.....And this is why I don't think lists work. You can write down what you think will make you happy, but he won't be able to produce the delivery you're expecting without your specific details. These things should be learned over a period of time together, and would become pretty much automatic with work.and I don't want to ask him to make a total wussy out of himself......So, you'd be happy, (happier), if he was a total wussy? Or are you saying that a husband following a detailed list of what would make his wife happy is a wussy?so men what things do you do or would you be willing to do for your SO in a romantic sense?Be myself, without a list.... Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Oh boy Moose........ Anyway , I think you should put on your list that you want to be F well and often without having to approach him , ask that he assert himself more and take the initiative . It seems to be a big part of what you have been saying here lately , along with other things .Why don't you review your posts and pull the most important things to you, for a start. Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted September 5, 2006 Author Share Posted September 5, 2006 I'm trying to imagine Mrs. Moose and I having a list like this. I suppose it would work for some people....for a while anyway. Personally I can't see myself going off a list, and I've never heard of a couple having one.....And this is why I don't think lists work. You can write down what you think will make you happy, but he won't be able to produce the delivery you're expecting without your specific details. These things should be learned over a period of time together, and would become pretty much automatic with work.So, you'd be happy, (happier), if he was a total wussy? Or are you saying that a husband following a detailed list of what would make his wife happy is a wussy?Be myself, without a list.... Ah..... here we go again. My H asked me for a list. I am wondering if I asked if he knit me a sweater if that would be asking too much and make him feel like a wussy to knit :lmao: How bout a cooking class together would that make men feel like a wuss or have no interest in it? He does not have a clue really on coming up with a planned or arranged romantic idea. Any stupid idiot can send flowers IMHO. Hell I have friends buy and send me flowers often........ zero effort and planning involved in that. (unless you add a wooden spoon to the flower arrangement ) Moose why do you bother to post to my threads? Ohhhhh............. (light bulb appears over my head) I know you love me, you want me to dominate you and flog you with my riding crop while quoting scriptures! :lmao: :lmao: I will drive the passive aggressive demon right outta ya!! :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Since he seems to do some of the other things you highlighted, I know one of your concerns was him not intiating being intimate with you. I would add that to the list. See if thats one thing he is willing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Moose is hoping that you will offer him a ride on your tractor - topless, no doubt! :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted September 5, 2006 Author Share Posted September 5, 2006 Things I want…. 1. appropriate affection in public 2. nice passionate kisses for no reason 3. nice surprises ( candle lit dinner at home, a bubble bath with you) 4. you initiate sex from time to time 5. spend time with me other than working on projects or tasks 6. you to talk to me 7. small romantic things leave a note, or a small gift…… 8. planning ahead for our time together, you initiate plan 9. set some goals for us 10. a day away from here every once in awhile so far I came up with this. Is there a book out there that is written in such a manner for men to actually want to read it....... brief to the point? We both looked online but did not find such a site or info. The flower thing and such were mainly the ideas listed. Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 what if you guys did a date night or took a class together like cooking or tennis, dancing. I have heard couples who learn new things together stay better connected. More oral sex? More iniating sex. follow through on his part. take steps towards getting out of debt. being more self sufficent. ie. doing things for you without being asked. oh btw guess who started shopping for a dishwasher. Link to post Share on other sites
superconductor Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Just a quick note, a4a... appropriate affection in public Maybe he's like me in the sense that he's just not comfortable with that. set some goals for us Shouldn't be the goals set as a couple, rather than individually? Or is that what you meant? Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted September 5, 2006 Author Share Posted September 5, 2006 what if you guys did a date night or took a class together like cooking or tennis, dancing. I have heard couples who learn new things together stay better connected. More oral sex? More iniating sex. follow through on his part. take steps towards getting out of debt. being more self sufficent. ie. doing things for you without being asked. oh btw guess who started shopping for a dishwasher. guys our sex life is good. he is back up to initiation but not like a throw against the wall type.... we have sex 5 x per week normally.....so stop thinking about sex :lmao: What things would he be interested in too as a male..... dancing is not one of those...... see what I mean... tennis is a no go either... my wrist is fused from too many breaks. But along those lines. I cannot believe they don't have some sort of a realistic list online. Romance for dummies? Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted September 5, 2006 Author Share Posted September 5, 2006 Just a quick note, a4a... Maybe he's like me in the sense that he's just not comfortable with that. Shouldn't be the goals set as a couple, rather than individually? Or is that what you meant? well he used to be comfortable with it....... he is probably just taking me for granted. I swear at times I think I should just make him aware of what he has and that if he does not put effort into it I will leave..... maybe a damn affair is in order.. :p (any takers here?) set them as a couple.....but I am tired of initiating them.... vacations, real estate investments. I am forced to run the entire show here. Tired of it. And yes I have so so said this to him. Back to the list.......... Link to post Share on other sites
superconductor Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 The ones in bold I get already. Looking for things that would take more planning and effort really but would not make a guy feel like a wussy putting the plan together. I'll send her flowers brings them home I'll cuddle her I'll kiss her sensually, without me intentionally wanting it to lead to sex I'll tell her I love her, I respect her and am proud of her. I'll tidy the house on sporadic intervals in her absence I'll leave little notes for her. I'll ask her how to do something, even if I know I can do it, just to make her feel good. (don't care about that) I'll smile at her when she looks at me I'll listen to her I'll run her a bath I'll hold her hand at home an in car I'll ask how she's feeling I'll let her chose the movie I'll buy her a gift very very rare I'll let her chose what we watch on the TV, every so often!! Just small insignificant daily gestures, that's all it takes! Makes coffee and dinner from time to time. From the looks of all the bolded ones on this list, I think he's doing pretty damn good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted September 5, 2006 Author Share Posted September 5, 2006 From the looks of all the bolded ones on this list, I think he's doing pretty damn good. Well then you suck!! :lmao: how does any of those things show real effort? putting the dishes he dirtied into the dishwasher on occassion is showing me he loves me? he likes the cuddle and hand holding lets me choose the movie or the tv channel :lmao: oh yeah big effort in the romance dept. with those Link to post Share on other sites
superconductor Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Allow me to re-phrase. He does the flower thing, cuddles with you, listens to you, asks (sincerely, I hope) how you are doing, verbalizes that he loves you, cleans the house up from time to time, lets you choose the entertainment (which may or may not be his taste), holds your hand in the car... Migawd, woman, what more do you need??? I'd bet that there are thousands of women that would eat a live octopus (without sauce, just a little pepper maybe) to get the attention that your hub is giving you. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 guys our sex life is good. he is back up to initiation but not like a throw against the wall type.... we have sex 5 x per week normally.....so stop thinking about sex :lmao: What things would he be interested in too as a male..... dancing is not one of those...... see what I mean... tennis is a no go either... my wrist is fused from too many breaks. But along those lines. I cannot believe they don't have some sort of a realistic list online. Romance for dummies? I am sorry to be this way but what you are describing to me sounds like you are getting what you want now! What your getting from him most women don't receive ever.. Be happy with what you have and be thankful you have a man like this. Get over yourself. JMO Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 From the looks of all the bolded ones on this list, I think he's doing pretty damn good. I agree with this statement. Are you trying to sabotage your relationship with him? Are aware that its possible thats what you are doing and not realizing it? Alot of women would be happy to get half of what you are getting from your husband. Sure we all have room for improvements in our relationships but doesn't seem he is doing to bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted September 5, 2006 Author Share Posted September 5, 2006 Allow me to re-phrase. He does the flower thing, cuddles with you, listens to you, asks (sincerely, I hope) how you are doing, verbalizes that he loves you, cleans the house up from time to time, lets you choose the entertainment (which may or may not be his taste), holds your hand in the car... Migawd, woman, what more do you need??? I'd bet that there are thousands of women that would eat a live octopus (without sauce, just a little pepper maybe) to get the attention that your hub is giving you. well I consider most of that normal in any relationship not just a romantic one. I would ask a friend how they are feeling, listen to them, let them choose entertainment, (but our choice of films is similar) flowers are rare......but any moron can buy flowers at a store. Not much in the line of effort, creativity, or planning..... drive, see store, pull in, buy flowers..... boring........ yawn yawn yawn. I allow him to cuddle with me. I don't like him smushing me while watching a movie.... I let him hold my hand while driving. I find it rather uncomfortable at times. As for cleaning the house...... well that is also a given. He messes it up he can help clean it up. Roommates even do that.... common courtesy. I suppose if he picks up his dirty socks I should be thrilled. :lmao: I allow him to drive my truck when we go somewhere so he feels more manly...... how is that for me being romantic towards him? :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 I allow him to cuddle with me. I don't like him smushing me while watching a movie.... I let him hold my hand while driving. I find it rather uncomfortable at times. You "ALLOW" him to? You 'LET" him hold your hand? If this is the way you see your marriage as a whole, I see why its rocky. Fix yourself before working on him. Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 well a4a we are all just jealous about your sex life. There is a site called loving you that has roamntic suggestions on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted September 5, 2006 Author Share Posted September 5, 2006 well a4a we are all just jealous about your sex life. There is a site called loving you that has roamntic suggestions on it. TY gonna check it out. Romance is picking your dirty underwear up off the bathroom floor........ :lmao: :lmao: Hey I change the toilet paper roll is that romantic? good news on the dishwasher!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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