I said the L word

[Nobel]

I told y girlfriend that I love her (I have no regerts doing it or second-guessed myself), but I still feel scared and the inability to to understand what I'm feeling manifests itself into thinking that we won't be together, which does not sit well with me, considering that we do EVERYTHING together without that burden you feel whenever you don't want to be with someone, but do it anyway.

 

I am not looking for the answers, just your insight.

[Tony T]

I don't understand your post as written and I hate to speculate as to what you may have meant. The best way I can do this is to take it line by line, sentence by sentence and word by word. Even then, I'm afraid I will miss your point because it is very vague and even a bit contradictory.

 

However, sometimes we write things at 3 a.m. differently than we would write them after a good night's sleep. Perhaps, if I miss your point, you could repost.

 

Line 1: "I told (m)y girlfriend that I love her (I have no regerts doing it or second-guessed myself),"

 

Telling her was a good thing if that's the way you felt and there is no reason for ever having regrets about expressing your true feelings. If the other person can't handle that, you always have the satisfaction that you have expressed yourself honestly.

 

Line 2: "but I still feel scared and the inability to to understand what I'm feeling manifests itself into thinking that we won't be together,"

 

Illogical, in my opinion, but nevertheless a real fear for you. I do not understand how feeling scared, which is natural when you have told somebody you love them or when you feel extremely vulnerable, manifests (as you say) into thinking "we" won't be together. I am completely dark as to why you would say this.

 

If she doesn't love you, won't give things a chance, and never will love you, then you should look forward to being with someone who will. It's downright crazy to want to stay in a forever relationship with somebody who doesn't love you.

 

Line 3: "which does not sit well with me, considering that we do EVERYTHING together"

 

Illogical in my opinion. I do everything for either hours with the people at work but when one quits, hey, somebody new comes aboard.

 

When you do everything together with someone you love, you live and love in the moment. You relish every golden second, because ALL things come to an end in time. If you start living in the present instead of worrying all the time, you might start enjoying life...enjoying love, etc. You can worry yourself sick thinking your love is going to leave you...and sometimes create that very event by your thoughts. So stop it!!!

 

Line 4: "without that burden you feel whenever you don't want to be with someone, but do it anyway."

 

Again, illogical in my opinion. It is crazy to do something you don't want to do. If being with the one you love is a burden, then you don't love them very much. Not only is it unnecessary but it is also very unhealthy in a relationship to do EVERYTHING with your partner.

 

You must have time with your friends, with your hobbies, alone, etc. If your beloved insists on you doing everything together, she is very insecure and needs help. If you have other things to do or just need time to yourself, your beloved always understands. That's what love is about.

 

I think you may just be in a strange mood now. You're looking at all this pretty weirdly. Hopefully, by the time you read this you will feel better and differently about the topic.