I like being the mistress

[tinktronik]

Tink: Good post. It doesn't reflect alot of other situations you're right.

Thanks, I was kinda woried it was to wacky to get the point across.

[Chinook]

Nope, I think it got the point across quite well IMO.

[saf]

Ooooh saf, do a little experiment next time you see MM.

 

Demand he leave his wife.

 

Go on, dare you.

I don't want him full time right now. My life is too busy. Besides, I prefer moving slow. It took me almost two years from the time I saw him before he used the word love, and almost another year after that before I could get him in the sack. I figure another year until I'll move to the next step.

[owcanbhppy]

welcome back saf,

 

im glad you didnt get run off!

[Walking away]

I am a little surprised current OW and FOW aren't taking offense to this. The OW's here didn't chase their MM as actively as you are claiming you did. Frankly it only adds to an already bad stereotype of the 'other woman'.

 

Well said. I DO take offense to her mentality. Perhaps it is because her aggressive and deliberate actions are frighteningly close to my MM's actions with me.

 

He saw, he wanted, he pursued and he won me. And this systematic pursuit of me happened without my knowledge of his marriage.

 

The thing is: IF I wanted to stay the OW, I am quite certain that he would jump at the chance at it....inspite of his wife's knowledge of me. It is all about what HE wants.

 

There truly is no end to this type of self serving personality. It is a ME, ME mentality.

 

And obviously, this self centered mentality knows no gender boundaries.

 

Remember, true colors are eventually revealed.

 

My MM lost me. I saw all that glitters is not gold. His attitude and behavior bit him in the butt. There are ALWAYS consequences to our actions. He may be still in his marriage, but he lost me. Not how he wanted it to turn out, of this I am absolutely certain.

 

Tread carefully, OP.

 

For every action there is an equal REaction.

 

It is not good to deliberately seek out and systematically "obtain" what is not yours. You are messing with innocent people's lives. Nothing good comes from such deliberate and calculated deceit.

 

Something I am sure my xMM would concur with.

 

Best of luck.

 

WA

[BUTAFLY]

people people...Whats all the bickering about?

The thing is she WANTS to be the OW. She LIKES being the OW. He Obviouly likes her as the OW or he would quit her. I'm sure he's aware of her personality and probably doesn't care. He aint going no where and they both know that. So whats the prob.?

 

The only difference I can see is shes happy where she is and we were not. End of story. (don't act like you didn't know there are women out there like this...where do you think the sterotype comes from?)

[Walking away]

I shudder to think that there are people out there like this.

 

There is a word for them....and that word is a predator.

 

I am not judging her on her decision. I, too, was an OW. But, her calculated and deliberate plan to snag this man reeks of someone who lacks compassion.

 

She appears to have no interest in anyone's feelings but her own.

 

Whether or not she is an OW is immaterial to me. Her MANNER of becoming one is what is concerning to me.

 

Enough said.

 

WA

[Mascara]

I don't want him full time right now. My life is too busy. Besides, I prefer moving slow. It took me almost two years from the time I saw him before he used the word love, and almost another year after that before I could get him in the sack. I figure another year until I'll move to the next step.

 

Ah no, you see by the time you get to that point he'll never leave. Didn't you know that if he doesn't leave early on he won't ever?

 

Sounds to me like you're a little scared you won't actually get him. Like you've convinced yourself that the longer it goes on the more likely he is to not want to lose you.... when actually the opposite is true. The longer you drag it out, the more he will only ever see you as a mistress.

[theantibarbie23]

I shudder to think that there are people out there like this.

 

There is a word for them....and that word is a predator.

 

That is what gets to me too. I could give a crap less that she is a OW and is happy being one. I don't think most of the people who posted here do ethier. It's her hunting down a man for years in order to ensnare him (just because she thought he was handsome no less) in order to become an OW in the most deliberate, calculating, way that makes me cringe.

 

BUTAFLY - Not quite sure why you think that the ONLY difference between this OW and other OW is that she is happy. I think that is a very unfair statement. If you want to be catagorized with someone like her, fine, but I think i's a huge insult to all OW to lump them together . The OW I have known were good people in a bad situation, not calculating predators whom hunt men for sport.

[Walking away]

Thank you.

 

On behalf of many, many OW, I appreciate the fact that you notice the difference between her and us.

 

I would hope that she is a rarity.

[silktricks]

This woman has made me very uncomfortable. She sounds like the woman who pursued my H for a couple of years (purporting herself to be his friend). Very coniving, very scary. I really do wonder what will happen when (and of course if) the MM decides he's had enough. She doesn't sound like someone who will give up easily after investing so much time.

[Mascara]

Totally agree. Hope the MM has sturdy enough tyres to withstand a machete.

[BUTAFLY]

BUTAFLY - Not quite sure why you think that the ONLY difference between this OW and other OW is that she is happy. I think that is a very unfair statement. If you want to be catagorized with someone like her, fine, but I think i's a huge insult to all OW to lump them together with someone so obviously unbalanced. The OW I have known were good people in a bad situation, not calculating predators whom hunt men for sport.

 

That may not be the only difference but I think it's a major theme.

 

If I were the mm's wife I would see it like this;

There's a line up of ow in front of me, each with a lable that read:

The Good girl, The Psycho, The Guliable One, Evil Predator,

which one would you prefer your husband to have an affair with?

It wouldn't matter to me because the fact remains they're stealing time, money, energy, and love out of the marriage.

 

Now do I think she is wrong for her actions- yes, because thats not my MO but do I think I or other Other Women are better than her? NO.

 

My only problem with a majority of responses seem to victimize the MM. He has been in a relationship for 3yrs...I don't think he's so much a victim, but a willing participant.

[silktricks]

My only problem with a majority of responses seem to victimize the MM. He has been in a relationship for 3yrs...I don't think he's so much a victim, but a willing participant.

 

The way I read it was that she saw him 3 years ago, and it took her 3 years of work to form the relationship. We don't really know how long he's been IN the relationship. It could be only a matter of weeks. Saf, how long has the relationship been going?

 

Also, many of the OW who post here seem to view themselves as victims due to the MM hunting them and lying to them. Yet they are also "willing" participants. What makes it different for a man?

[saf]

You've got it Silky. We've only been in a relationship for about a month now, and I only get to see him once in awhile (we don't live that close to each other). But I'm sooooo happy.

[silktricks]

So, Saf, after a whole month of a part-time relationship, why are you so confident? What are you going to do if his wife finds out and he decides the grass isn't greener with you? Have you actually read any of the posts here? Most ow/mm relationships do not end well for ANYONE.

[saf]

I'm confident because I plan ahead. He won't have a change to decide that, and yeah, I've read all the posts.

[norajane]

So, Saf, after a whole month of a part-time relationship, why are you so confident? What are you going to do if his wife finds out and he decides the grass isn't greener with you?

 

Nah. See, she has a plan:

 

I can't believe how little imagination you women have. You don't get the husband caught. You know a LOT about the wife from all of the conversations you've had with the H. What you do is write your MM an anonymous note claiming to be the lover of the wife, and outing her. He's going to believe it, he'll want to believe it. she'll never be able to disprove it. How do you prove a negative? and voila! the marriage is over and he's yours. That's what I'm gonna do when I'm ready for fulltime.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t96479/

[Walking away]

Oh my God. Did she really write this?

 

Yes, this one is in a class of her own.

 

I stand corrected. I said that she behaved like a predator. She is much more than that. She is a sociopath.

 

She lacks a conscience.

[Walking away]

And to saf:

 

Even if your hairbrained plan to "out" the wife works, what glory is it for you to "get" your man because of your deceit?

 

Must suck for you to have to sink to such depths.

 

Silly me. I would want a man who chooses to be with me because he CHOSE it....not because his hand was forced.

 

Wow...I can certainly see why you are so confident.

 

Not.

 

To sink to such depths of deception reaks of desperation to me.

[whichwayisup]

Saf, I really hope one day you realize the pain you're purposely inflicting on his wife, and yourself. One day you might look back with so much regret and wish that you did things differently. Sadly, you'll have noone to blame but yourself. Just hope that you'll grow from it and learn how have an honest, loving and giving relationship one day.

[lovernotafighter]

you know whats gonna happen the MM is either a) not going to buy it. or b) he'll buy it and find out it was saf and end up totally hating her..theres where the karma will be a MFer mark my words here.

 

I dunno saf..I starting to wonder if a BS in OW clothing

[LittleLady]

I absolutely LOVE being the mistress. He's wonderful to me and tells me all the time how much he loves being with me. He comes over whenever possible, and I love him deeply.

 

 

You have only been with him for a month? You love him?

You sound extremely possessive, conniving, and the type of person who would do anything (i mean ANYTHING) to get what she wants no matter who gets hurt or, on the extreme scale, dies in the process.

[theantibarbie23]

Oh my God. Did she really write this?

 

Yes, this one is in a class of her own.

 

I stand corrected. I said that she behaved like a predator. She is much more than that. She is a sociopath.

 

She is a classic bunnyboiler. I'm sure this guy doesn't have a clue what this woman really is and once he finds out (during the affair or after) he WILL run for the hills so fast her head will spin and slap a restraining order on her. My uncle's ex OW is exactly like this. She was a predator in the worst way and once he uncovered her true nature, he was scared to death and cut things off with her.

 

She not only went after him but our entire family. She's made all our lives hell. She even went out of her way to make false accusations to the police against my then 80 year old grandfather whom had just suffered a severe heartattack and goaded him to the point where he had another mild heartattack. She did so many evil little things over the years that I can't even begin to count.

 

I worry that she is going to call DCF on me one of these days when she gets bored. It's been fifteen years but every now and then she lets us know she hasn't forgotten about us. She's already done it to my mother and sister. I'm not worried that they will take my kids away, but it makes me feel like crap that I will be on file at the DCF office.

 

I can't even begin to tell you how much of a con artist this woman was. We found out she has had six failed marriages. She would study lonely rich men, transform herself into what he was looking for, and get them to marry her. After getting married she would spend all their money until they were in such dire straights that they would have to cut her off from their accounts and such, then she would find a new rich guy that would rescue her from her "physically abusive husband" and start her game again.

 

She also has had a child with each of these men. She gave up her from that marriage children every time she divorced. They were just a part of her game too. Although it's probably for the best that these kids are far, far away from that psycho. She is now on husband number seven.

 

Sorry for the threadjack. She just really reminds me of this woman. God help that poor family. Sociopathic indeed but I still think she's NPD too. I said that she was unbalanced but that is a real understatement. In any case she would make a therepist quite wealthy.

[lovernotafighter]

people, people, listen to LNF...I was recently at TOW and there was this woman posing for months as a psycho OW and everyone called her a heartless b*tch and this and that..then on day she wrote a thread saying how they all got played because she really was a BS that first came to the site to see if her H's OW was posting there.

 

she tried to act the way she felt her H's OW really was...which was over the top BS like saf here.

 

she then thanked everyone who attacked her and said she felt better for that not everyone agrees with b*tchy OW's..it was disturbing because she did this for months...not days...months...listen to LNF people saf is not what you think,I am certain of it.