how do deal with relationship anxiety

[ahh!]

Hello

 

Here's my problem and I hope I can get some advice about it:

 

I think i have trouble controlling my emotions - not that I wanna control them 100%, but often i overly react to things, even though logically I know they're not worth it.

 

The reason I'm posting this Qn here is b/c it interferes with my relationships. I am pretty independent by nature, and rationally, i like to have partners who are indepenedent too, so that we both have our space & both happy with it. However, now that I have such a partner, i can't help but be bothered whenever he cannot get together with me, or something like that. Again, rationally im happy he has a life, etc. - it's attractive. Yet it bothers me for days! I hate it how I can't get rid of that feeling. I keep telling myself - just cuz he was busy that day doesn't mean he doesn't like u or anything. he wanted to see me the following day, but I was busy. so it's an absolutely healthy situation. So why can't I get over it already?? why does it keep bothering me??

 

This is just one example ..... i'm generally extremely sensitive to what my partner says/does, even if I don't likee the person that much. Its' like i'm paranoid about them liking me. That's why i often act like i don't like the person, even though i do - i'm paranoid abotu showing more care than the other person. Etc - do you get the drift?

 

Any suggestions?? Logic doesn't help... I know what's healthy and what makes sense. But my nervous system keeps saying otherwise!

 

Thanks for listening.

[Tony T]

If you're not open to logic, I can't help you much. You might have your doctor prescribe some Xanax for anxiety.

 

You do have complete control of your emotions. You are the one who decides exactly how you're going to feel about things. Don't put that off on someone else. You need to go with the flow more and just enjoy the ride.

[ahh!]

If you're not open to logic, I can't help you much. You might have your doctor prescribe some Xanax for anxiety. You do have complete control of your emotions. You are the one who decides exactly how you're going to feel about things. Don't put that off on someone else. You need to go with the flow more and just enjoy the ride.

[Lola]

You could try this....

 

Every time you start to get jealous or whatever it is you are feeling. Write down the entire scenario and write down why you are feeling jealous. When you read it, you will probably realize how foolish it sounds. Then crumble it up and throw it away.

 

You may have to do it for a while until you can rationalize the feelings in your head.

 

If that doesn't help. Maybe you should seek out a professional.

[ahh!]

Thanks for that idea! I already do that quite often, and it totally helps.

 

I don't think i need pro help because I can control it if i need to, i just dont get where it's coming from. probably some kind of insecurity. ill get over it

 

Thanks,

 

ahh!!

You could try this.... Every time you start to get jealous or whatever it is you are feeling. Write down the entire scenario and write down why you are feeling jealous. When you read it, you will probably realize how foolish it sounds. Then crumble it up and throw it away.

 

You may have to do it for a while until you can rationalize the feelings in your head. If that doesn't help. Maybe you should seek out a professional.