Firsts

[Need to know]

Please help a fella out:

 

Ladies: I know eveyone remembers their first, but do you ever wanna go back to or be w/ that person again? As you get older does being w/ someone take on a whole new meaning, about why and how much you love someone? If your first sexual partner was to call, or you seen him out, could there be any sparks, even tho you were totally inlove w/ another man.

 

Thanks for the responses.

[Tony T]

The greatest first for me was the first time I had a malted milk shake. It was chocolate and really hot outdoors.

 

As for sex, I think the first time has more meaning for women than for men. Like everything else, its significance wanes with time. I have never, ever had a woman friend who alluded to a desire to call their first guy and go at it again. But I've had them tell me there were others they wouldn't mind going another round with.

 

In life, I think it's always much better to move forward than go backward. Frankly, I think returning to the person you lost your virginity to for a return engagement could take a lot away from the memories...sometimes which are not so pleasant...but special nevertheless.

 

I have also never returned to the ice cream parlor where I got my first malted milk shake.

 

There are just so many places to get those malts, you know, but I can absolutely say my first experience with them was excellent.

[Lola]

I usually see my "first" out at least once a month. While I care for him, the sex part wasn't all that important. I remember the rest of the relationship more. First times are memorable, but usually not the greatest (too much stress).

 

If I am seriously considering having sex with someone else while I am in a relationship, then it's time to rethink the relationship, not the memory.

[Miss Mojo]

when i look back and think of the first guy i slept with, i honestly can't understand what the hell i was thinking. i'm really grateful for the moment of clarity i had just before our relationship ended.

 

i would never go back there with him. i wasn't inlove with him. i was very naive and "rapt" in him, but not inlove.

 

i've seen him since and there were NOOOO sparks whatsoever for me. he's very condescending and thinks he's "all that". he is "all that"..."all that i want to puke over". it has nothing to do with his looks, but his personality. i can't believe i was ever attracated to him.

 

the older i have become and with every meaningful relationship i have had, i have realised that sex without love just doesn't fulfill me. it makes me feel empty because it is without any substance. when i love a guy, it is fantastic. i feel i have the "whole package" and for me, that's what counts.

 

if i had of loved my first, i'm sure i would look back on my first time in a different light.

 

as it turns out, the person i loved the most and have the best memories of, was not my first boyfriend. but that's because i've matured a lot since my first.

[witchbreed]

First of all, if I am truly loving someone - I dont desire any others. I still see if someone is attractive (male or female) and I can like other people - but it ends there. The only one I want to hold and be hold is my bf.

 

I remember my first, but hell - I dont want to go back there. He was a considerate and experienced lover and I am grateful for that part, a good introduction into sex and the joys of sex. I dont think I would even like him now, I have come a long way since then, but then it happened 24 years ago on my 15th birthday.

 

Or my first "real" relationsship, thats the father of my kids. We had been together for 13 years, have been split now for 4 years. He is still a friend (and co-worker), but we both would never go back and there is no "sparks" left - on of the reasons we split - the other was that we had developed differently, we want other things from life.

 

But about my bf - we are now together for a bit more than a year and he just moved in - I only have to think about him and I feel good, loving and loved, desiring and desired. The thing is, we dont "have sex", we make love! And that can be "sex", but it can be a cuddle or a back rub or ...

 

Anyway none of my girlfriends is still dreaming about their first (except some who have nightmares!) and I personally know no woman who wanted a go again with her first. There is one kind of exception to this rule, the ones who stayed with their first (but all of them are a generation or two older than me and I am 39).