becoming extinct

[last of the virgins]

Hello,

 

I am 20, a virgin, and am currently dating a great guy who's 24 and has already had sex. Lately things have been steaming up between us and I am contemplating going all the way. (yes, I have asked myself if he is the right one for me. The truth is, I've never trusted someone like I trust him) My problem: in the past, other kinds of penetration have left me feeling a bit soar for a few days after. I am scared about having sex because I have heard that it can really hurt the first time. How can I go about discussing this with my boyfriend? My gyno says I don't appear to have anything wrong with me yet I still feel soar. What are some suggestions the ladyies may have to make this experience pleasurable for me? Thank you!

[Daisy]

Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay, and then some lubrication. Go out and buy some KY Liquid or Astroglide from your local drugstore. It helps SOOOOOO much. Oh, and also ... relax. The more tense you are about "your first time", the harder it will be on your body.

 

As for the soreness, that's just comes with the territory honey. You're just gonna have to live with it, unless you want to remain a virgin for the rest of your life. Just have him go very slow, and hopefully that'll help ease any pain. But believe me, the first few times of soreness are well worth the pleasure that you'll ultimately gain once you're used to it!

[loser]

good for you for waiting "so long". Don't feel pressured by the people who post here. Only you will know when you are ready. If a man loves you he will wait until you are married.

 

This country still gets a bad rap for being puritanical unlike euro cultures, but I kind of think that makes us better. Let them live like animals.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a christian or anything like that, however, I do believe certain values laid down by the church can help us to live harmonious lives.

 

If we seek sex merely for pleasure or to keep our partners with us or because our friends are doing it we will inevitably suffer as a result.

 

I wish I waited longer to have sex. But as the saying goes wisdom only comes to of us when it can no longer do us any good. That sucks.

 

I know you wanted posts from ladies but I just thought I'd through in my 2 cents. Good luck with whatever you do.

[Miss Mojo]

This country still gets a bad rap for being

puritanical unlike euro cultures, but I kind of think that makes us better. Let them live like animals.

live like animals??? i think that is a bit harsh, no? you've heard 'the bad touch' one too many times.

 

i don't sleep around, yet i certainly wouldn't say that those people who want sex without a relationship are acting like animals. there are some people out there who aren't affected by this kind of behaviour in a negative way. some people are afraid to get emotionally close to another, or just don't want to, yet they need to be touched. the need for sex is only natural. it's only society that says we have to have sex within a certain context and it's wrong to have sex under certain circumstances, right to have sex under other circumstances.

 

i agree with many points in your post, especially re having sex because your friends are doing it. my friends take the piss out of me because it's been so long, but frankly my dear, i couldn't give a damn. i once felt pressured by friends and suffered the consequences.

 

on the other hand, i don't think it's wrong to wait to have sex until you really love a person. but even that can leave you heartbroken. every single relationship has the potential to maybe breakdown. but that is life.

 

i think who we have sex with and under what circumstances is very personal. i prefer it with someone i love, but i don't judge those who have sex without love.

 

[loser]

i hear yeah. i was just saying my opinion. i am kind of old fashioned and prefer that kind of gal.

[Miss Mojo]

i hear yeah. i was just saying my opinion. i am kind of old fashioned and prefer that kind of gal.