arl Posted November 29, 2001 Share Posted November 29, 2001 I have been in a relationship with this guy for 10 years almost and thought we were getting close to marriage because he asked me to move in with him 3 months ago. I am graduating from college in Dec and we wanted to wait to go am=ny further til I was done with school. 2 weeks ago I found out that he is cheating on me. He loves me but thinks he is in love with this girl he has been seeing for 5 weeks now. We have been through a lot together and I am pretty sure that I am pregnant. When he told her that he wants to be with me she came back a couple days later saying she went to the OB & she is pregnant too. I love him beyond words and think that I am willing to continue being with him but now he is torn. I do not want him to be with me for the baby because in the long run things won't work if that's why he stays. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Crystal Posted November 29, 2001 Share Posted November 29, 2001 whew! what a mess. can you forgive him? do you need to forgive him? can you live with another woman having his child? will "you" be part of this child's life? will he/she be a reminder of his indifelity? does he still want to be with her? is he going to support her baby too? and help raise it? and if she isn't pregnant then you still have the whole affair to deal with. all though you say you can move on, i can't help but wonder "how"? i would be devasted and crushed if my guy did that to me, too many unanswered questions. i guess these are questions i'd be asking myself if this were me, but it's not and i thank god cause no matter how much I love my man, i could never be with him after he cheated on me. i would always be comparing myself to her, asking a million questions in my mind "why, why, why" never feeling fulfilled with the answers. but hey if you can live with it and no that it wont happen again and that he wont be cheating on you again with her or others then i'd say go for it! and good luck too and if you are pregnant CONGRATULATIONS! i hope anyway. I have been in a relationship with this guy for 10 years almost and thought we were getting close to marriage because he asked me to move in with him 3 months ago. I am graduating from college in Dec and we wanted to wait to go am=ny further til I was done with school. 2 weeks ago I found out that he is cheating on me. He loves me but thinks he is in love with this girl he has been seeing for 5 weeks now. We have been through a lot together and I am pretty sure that I am pregnant. When he told her that he wants to be with me she came back a couple days later saying she went to the OB & she is pregnant too. I love him beyond words and think that I am willing to continue being with him but now he is torn. I do not want him to be with me for the baby because in the long run things won't work if that's why he stays. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted November 29, 2001 Share Posted November 29, 2001 What a development!!! You really need to talk to him about this. If he has to think more than a couple of minutes about who he wants to be with, then let him go. He's not worth it. The two of you have been together ten years. It's so hard to believe these two pregnancies happened practically at once. If you really think you can forgive him for cheating and if you think you can put up with another woman and child in his life for 18 years, yes, EIGHTEEN YEARS, then go for it. For 18 years, he will have to support his other child and have contact with both the child and its mother on matters concerning financing and raising it. You'll have to be pretty tough to endure that. Of course, if he is with her, it'll be the other way around. Can this guy support two families? I hope so. I also recommend he put some sperm in a sperm bank for use in getting any future wives pregnant and get himself a vasectomy. This being torn stuff is a lot of crap. If he doesn't know who he care for by now, particularly after being with you for ten years, he's pretty spastic. Good luck to you and the baby. P.S. Being pregnant and being "pretty sure" you are pregnant are two different things. If it ends up that you are not pregnant, dump this bum at your earliest opportunity. You don't need to start your married life out with a two-timing cheat who doesn't care about protection or birth control. That kind of stuff can KILL you in this age of AIDS, STD's, etc., if he decides to turn himself out to stud somemore. Link to post Share on other sites
sparkle Posted November 29, 2001 Share Posted November 29, 2001 You said: "I am willing to continue being with him but now he is torn." Don't you see something MAJORLY WRONG HERE??? Shouldn't it be the other way aroun?? HE cheated on you...if he wanted to be with you, HE would be the one wanting to fix and continue the relationship. YOU should be the one that is "torn" between whether to leave him or not. I would never waste my time being with a guy that didn't want to be with me. And this guy cheats on you after 10 years of dating you??? Doesn't that tell you anything? And how are you "pretty sure" you're pregnant? Either you're pregnant or you aren't. Did the pregnancy test come out positive? Link to post Share on other sites
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