?????????

[LoveInferma]

so i'm a newleywed of a few months. it was a rushed decision which began as an agreement between 2 good friends for purely beneficial purposes and somehow turned into the real deal. since he has to be gone for long periods of time (months to years) for his work, we have agreed to have an open marriage for physical purposes.

 

that being said, i couldn't take the lack of physical connection with someone so i began exploring. started with a few partners and slowly dwindled down to one main person. we met through mutual friends and had the sole intention of keeping it physical. which i have had no problem in the past doing. i'm not a typical woman in the sense that i get easily emotionally attached when it comes to sex. but this one turned out different. somewhere along the lines i fell in love.

 

my husband and i constantly discuss our situation and wonder if remaining best friends is better than staying married. i've never had a love like i have with him. i've been in 2 serious relationships before him of which he's seen every detail as i have with him, and i've never reached the level of pure love that i have with him. since my husband is unsure of where HIS life will end up, whether it be abroad or with me, i feel like i'm stuck.

 

i'm so confused. my partner hasn't been the most honest and forthcoming, which is completely understanding knowing my situation. i don't know if i need to make a decision to continue with my partner with whom i haven't had strong feelings like this in a long time, and see where these feelings take me or wait for my husband to decide if i fit in his life as his wife and not just his best friend.