Author glittergurl Posted April 13, 2006 Author Share Posted April 13, 2006 lol No, honestly, I doubt it. Unless he got REALLY REALLY drunk and was at the wrong place at the wrong time, maybe (?) But he never goes past the tipsy stage. I just hated the comments he made, that's all. Anyway, we talked 5min ago, and things are back to normal Link to post Share on other sites
Pink_Tulip Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 I think you are very justified in being angry right now. I don't think you are mad about the candy, I think that is what you are fighting about b/c it is a lot safer to be mad about that than wondering whether or not your H went to that type of massage place. First off, women read into EVERYTHING. I don't know if he was just joking or serious, but it was a very nasty thing for him to say, b/c now you will always have that in the back of your mind. I would be irate, and I know its not something I could let go very easily at all. He was inconsiderate about the chocolates, but let that go and recognize you are focusing on that b/c he is NOT letting you focus on the real issue, the rub and tug. I really don't know what advice to give you, all I know is I'd be going out of my mind if I were in your shoes. I really feel for you. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 lol No, honestly, I doubt it. Unless he got REALLY REALLY drunk and was at the wrong place at the wrong time, maybe (?) But he never goes past the tipsy stage. I just hated the comments he made, that's all. Anyway, we talked 5min ago, and things are back to normal Forget the chocolate, it's not like you swam to Hong Kong to give it to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author glittergurl Posted April 13, 2006 Author Share Posted April 13, 2006 Hahah Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Regarding the massage, I don't understand your comment. Are you saying he was about to go to a brothel? There's a big difference between getting a "massage" from a 20 year old prostitute, and getting a legitimate massage from a 45 year old trained professional (who may often be a man btw). It's only in the west that "massage" is assumed to be paid sex rather than the traditional meaning. Business can be stressful and it's common to get a massage (as opposed to a hand job etc) to relive that stress. The idea that all massages in Hong Kong involve payment for sex is pretty racist to be honest. As for the chocolates, the guy is out there working his nuts off and was probably completely knackered & stressing about how business would turn out. You're also taking a typical naive female view of things. Imagine - you're a jet-setting business exec working on a big deal, you come back to your hotel room and there's a box of chocolates waiting for you. Chocolates? Men don't give a damn about chocolates. Can you see how meaningless that appears? It's not surprising that he didn't see the feeling behind it. Also his mind is going to be totally occupied on work (remember all the jokes about men only being able to think of one thing at a time). Basically I think you were 90% in the wrong here, assuming he wasn't actually going to visit a hooker. You made no allowance for his potential state of mind or circumstances, you think that paying $100 for food gives you the right to place emotional demands on him, you expect him to be a mind-reader, and you gave a woman's gift rather than a man's gift (cigars or some good quality alcohol would be much more appreciated). You've had no sympathy for his situation, and while he's working hard for the both of you, when you get in touch you give him even more stress and hassle, exactly the opposite of what a good wife should do. You should be supportive in this situation, not harrassing him for perceived flaws. Even if upset, you should talk it over when he gets back and explain why it bothered you - chances are he'd see your side and probably apologise too. Of course if he was actually thinking of shagging a hooker, then that's completely different. I just find it hard to believe anyone would openly say that to their wife! Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Glitter, I grew up in HK. I'm not sure you know this, but its a really classy and upscale city, no different than Manhattan, L.A, Paris, London, Milan, etc. Sure, there are rub and tugs but it is not legal to operate a body house just as it is not legal here in North America. There are also a lot of massage places for PEOPLE to go to so that they can get a bonafide massages. I've also travelled to Thailand and had wonderful Thai massages and when my H was there on his own and said he went to a get a few more, I thought nothing of it. If he was in London or Manhattan and mentioned going to get a massage, would you have reacted the same way? Maybe you over reacted from a perception of a city that really isn't what you imagine it to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author glittergurl Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 Mental Traveller, I am not naive, thankyouverymuch. Please read the entire thread. Also, I didn't give him a woman's gift. My husband is a huge chocolate lover; he buys tons of it whenever he goes to Switzerland and Belgium, because he wants enough to last for months. So it was actually a very appropriate gift. But thanks for trying to insult me and my gift; and my husband too, for liking what you call a "woman's gift". Also, he doesn't smoke cigars, and why would I send him a bottle of alcohol when he's got plenty in his suite's mini bar? That's just plain stupid. Now, about the difference between a regular massage and a rub & tug, plz read again. I explained it all in my previous posts. Anyway, like I said days ago, the argument ended just fine. But I guess you didn't read that part either. There's usually an excellent communication between both of us, and we're very supportive of each other. I just sometimes feel like I need somebody else's feedback when I feel like I'm in front of a conflict, and that he's not there to talk it out right when I need to. Hence why I log in here once in a while. And thanks for your concern, but I'm not a bad wife who just whines while her husband makes a living for both. I have my own business, so I don't sit around all day, waiting for my husband to come back with his business deals. Link to post Share on other sites
BeFree Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 I can completely sypmathize with you. I sent my BF a valentines gift when he was away and I had to ask about it, before he ever said. "oh, yeah thanks for that box with the stuff in it." Men just don't handle the whole gift receiving thing well. We women want them to react the way we would, and it never happens. Unless it's front row tickets to their favorite sports team. I wouldn't put too much worry into this. And I doubt he his going to a rub and tug, and telling you about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Just as an FYI ... 60% of men admit to having affairs while married. There is no reason for you to think he is not capable of this or hasn't already. And he was definitely referring to a massage parlor where extracurricular events take place - I can't believe some of you didn't get that. And while I appreciate the masseuse who whined about being considered a sex toy ... most massage parlors do offer "happy endings" ... especially in Asia! This is actually considered legal and acceptable behavior in many other places as well. For instance our good neighbor - Canada! I am bringing my hubby to a massage parlor for his birthday. It's kind of like buying him a very expensive sex toy that I know he will enjoy. What guy wouldn't? I am sorry that he didn't respond to you the way you wanted him to about the chocolates ... but as already stated - HE'S A GUY!! They speak like one word to our five!! Also, if you had already spoke with him about going to a massage parlor some time ... why are you offended when he brings it up? It sounds like it was a nice fantasy in your mind ... but then when he brought it up on his own accord you freaked. That doesn't seem fair. Seems like your allowed to fantasize and explore but he's not given that seem freedom. If you yell at him and put him down when he mentions his own sexuality .... who is he going to talk to about it with?? Maybe the 60% of guys having affairs could answer that one. Link to post Share on other sites
reddog63 Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Instead of "not being a bitch" about it, why do you not just use direct communication. It is less confusing for us men. Meaning............he did not seem to appreciate the gift.........ask.....honey, I spent alot of money and effort on that gift...........did you not like it? And have no idea why massage subject would bother you, but again, if it did...............honey, I thought we wouldn't get those unless together (which I do not understand btw but thats off subject). Lack of "real" communication will poison a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author glittergurl Posted May 5, 2006 Author Share Posted May 5, 2006 Why did Guest and RedDog bumped this old topic that was somewhere on page 4 or 5? The topic was obviously closed, but neither of you two even bothered reading the whole thing, so your posts are absolutely pointless and I'm not going to waste any more time over this Link to post Share on other sites
reddog63 Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 You sound like high maintenance....... Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Why did Guest and RedDog bumped this old topic that was somewhere on page 4 or 5? The topic was obviously closed, but neither of you two even bothered reading the whole thing, so your posts are absolutely pointless and I'm not going to waste any more time over this Hey glitter ,sounds like you guys have worked things out just fine. Glad to hear it. Please try to remember that if you make a post, it is here forever and most likely ,poeple will read it and respond . You have a good day. Link to post Share on other sites
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