Author a4a Posted March 22, 2006 Author Posted March 22, 2006 so if you are in a state of frustration, anger ect.... you announce this to the person you are speaking to? "I am upset/angry so please understand this as I ask you this .........."(continue conversation here) Hell I do this...... "It's not you it's me. But hear me out and let me express myself in the only way I can right now..........or I walk away and cool down for a moment". Is this what you are getting at?
blind_otter Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 so if you are in a state of frustration, anger ect.... you announce this to the person you are speaking to? "I am upset/angry so please understand this as I ask you this .........."(continue conversation here) Hell I do this...... "It's not you it's me. But hear me out and let me express myself in the only way I can right now..........or I walk away and cool down for a moment". Is this what you are getting at? Yeah. I have to say stuff like "I am angry right now, my tone of voice is not very kind," that kind of thing. By saying my emotional state out loud, using words, it helps me identify my feelings. I have trouble with this. Which is why it would probably be a nightmare for me to train anyone. Can you imagine? I have so little understanding of my emotional reactions, it would be like the blind leading the blind. "Where are we going?" "I don't know, do you?!"
Author a4a Posted March 22, 2006 Author Posted March 22, 2006 Yeah. I have to say stuff like "I am angry right now, my tone of voice is not very kind," that kind of thing. By saying my emotional state out loud, using words, it helps me identify my feelings. I have trouble with this. Which is why it would probably be a nightmare for me to train anyone. Can you imagine? I have so little understanding of my emotional reactions, it would be like the blind leading the blind. "Where are we going?" "I don't know, do you?!" There is nothing wrong with announcing your emotional state. Great tactic if the recievers walls are not already up. You know I teach group obedience classes, the first day I have to train the people to actually walk in a circle. They are so concerned/anxiety ridden about the training end of things they cannot even form a circle as a group.... hell I have had them walk into trees in my outdoor classes...... so you are not actually alone thinking you cannot do things and feeling lost.
Yamaha Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 I believe that the way a person is when you meet them is the way you accept them and trying to change them is fruitless. You might be able to change little things about your SO but don't expect to change their core values.
Touche Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 I agree Yamaha. But that's not what this is about. If you choose the wrong person to begin with NO amount of training is going to turn them into the right person. This isn't magic after all. Values, morals, intelligence...those kinds of qualities have to be compatible otherwise all the training in the world will be a waste of time.
alphamale Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 I believe that the way a person is when you meet them is the way you accept them and trying to change them is fruitless. You might be able to change little things about your SO but don't expect to change their core values. the above is one of the most enlightened and insightful things I've ever hear you say, YAMAHA
Author a4a Posted March 22, 2006 Author Posted March 22, 2006 I agree Yamaha. But that's not what this is about. If you choose the wrong person to begin with NO amount of training is going to turn them into the right person. This isn't magic after all. Values' date=' morals, intelligence...those kinds of qualities have to be compatible otherwise all the training in the world will be a waste of time.[/quote'] Well said Touche'.
Touche Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 Thanks, A! I think some people just aren't really understanding the principles of this training method. It's not about fundamentally changing a person. No one can really do that.
carmaenforcer Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 Didn't have a chance to read all the posts on this thread but this is not something that only women can do to their men. It has worked for me some and I'm a guy. I strongly believe in this training your SO thing. Where you find them when you marry them not what you are stuck with for ever. If prison camps can break down a person and reprogram them in a matter of weeks think what you can accomplish in years. Dare to dream.
Recommended Posts