Mydish1 Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 Well lately our contact has been slowly dying this past week...i know her cousins were in town this week, but it doesnt become an excuse to not contact me. Our last date was on v-day...i admit it was crappy and i was a little distant, but i thought nothing of it since we agreed to be FWB. We had a nice convo yesterday and caught up with what happened in the week. well she offered 3 days for me for which we could get together and i chose a day and said i'd call her the day before or she call me to confirm. The convo we had, gave the illusion that her interest level is still high, but in fact it fell since v-day. today she ended up texting me.. "hey! i just wanted to say that ill be kinda busy couple of weeks, i guess i cant see u this week...i might be able to see you in a month. Take care!" ok i call her back, she picked up and gave me a reasonable excuse. i didnt lose my cool and could care less if we stopped seeing each other. But i asked if everything's alright and if anything's bothering her... she said she's good, and she said she'd call me later. hang up. I know lately we've been growing apart because of losing interest in each other. and no matter how busy someone is, they'll make time for someone that theyre interested in. Apparently she isnt making time for me. we probably do need this break. However i would be interested in seeing her still, but if we dont im not gonna make a big deal over it. instead of ending the phone call, should i have said: "look i know we're not in a relationship, we havent been talking much lately and i havent seen you in over a week, but by all means im still interested in you (or interested in seeing you this week). i dont know, i feel like i ended the phone call on bad terms. maybe i shouldve made things more clear? i dunno...i think ill just let us have this break and see where things go from here, if she doesnt call back, oh well. what do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 I think you just got the brush off. Probably she bored with your "take it or leave it" attitude and would just as soon leave it. Doesn't sound like you two have any passion for each other. Anyway you already decided you're friends with benefits, maybe she is not that into the "benefits" and clearly the "friends" is lacking as well. Also might be a power play. If she felt like you were disinterested in her she might have wanted the final word, like "yeah well I'm more disinterested, take that." Then she feels like she came out on top. Hard to say without knowing her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mydish1 Posted February 28, 2006 Author Share Posted February 28, 2006 I think you just got the brush off. Probably she bored with your "take it or leave it" attitude and would just as soon leave it. Doesn't sound like you two have any passion for each other. Anyway you already decided you're friends with benefits, maybe she is not that into the "benefits" and clearly the "friends" is lacking as well. Also might be a power play. If she felt like you were disinterested in her she might have wanted the final word, like "yeah well I'm more disinterested, take that." Then she feels like she came out on top. Hard to say without knowing her. good response...i didnt think of it that way. power play = test you mean? passion...well truth is i admit i lost attraction for her (probably her for me also). i care and dont care at the same time, and it probably rubbed off on her also. in the beginning we agreed to be FWB, the friends and benefits part were great in the early stages....however i know caues of the last date, i killed it. in hte past we used to ask about each others day a lot, now we barely talk. and when i call i just end up asking how she's doing... the only time we talk now is to set up a date... its crazy really, in the beginning she chased me and her interest was through the roof. so...if this is a test, what now? i could call back and let her know im still interested in seeing her, however ill just come off paranoid and desperate. If i leave NC until whenever she feels like it, we could just wind up as strangers and never talk again. well...knowing her, she's a pretty independent girl and is part loner too. i know right now shes not looking for a relationship with anyone... i suppose she just wants to focus on her part of her life for now...and needs the space. actually the time we were on the phone choosing a day to get together, she was willing to get off work early to meet up with me. guess it wasnt all that bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mydish1 Posted February 28, 2006 Author Share Posted February 28, 2006 i dont know...after rereading what she said, it really sounded like she brushed me off. besides...women never call when they say they do. and it's funny really, women can angry at someone....while at the same time play the act like nothing's wrong. i have a gut feeling she resents me for something i did (or didnt do)....i know her quite well. she likes to keep things to herself. all the times i've known her, i have never once seen her mad or bitchy for that matter. a couple of times i asked if we're cool and if everything's ok, i dont recall but she sorta nudged it off without giving a calm response. but basing it off our phone convos it sounds like everything's ok. i swear women can be the best actors... honestly i really do want to talk it over the phone and get some genuine talk going...but i dont want to come off pressuring or paranoid. but then i'll just be embarassed/insecure if there really isnt anything wrong. thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mydish1 Posted February 28, 2006 Author Share Posted February 28, 2006 gah...i just realized something. She probably assumed this was our last meeting, and due to the distance lately she might be thinking im going to break it off on the meeting. So to protect herself...well she came up with this. man...i wish i knew what was going through her head. i dont know...im going to call her. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 ...i think i just got the brush off...yes?/ no? Yes. She's already said she'll call you back - I don't think you should call her now. Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 She probably assumed this was our last meeting, and due to the distance lately she might be thinking im going to break it off on the meeting. So to protect herself...well she came up with this. That is what I meant by "power play". I don't think you should bother calling her. Why would you want to? Y ouwere already pulling away and you say you're not attracted to her. Seems that ending things has been the logical progression. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mydish1 Posted February 28, 2006 Author Share Posted February 28, 2006 That is what I meant by "power play". I don't think you should bother calling her. Why would you want to? Y ouwere already pulling away and you say you're not attracted to her. Seems that ending things has been the logical progression. well unfortunately i read this a bit late. But i had texted her this morning, telling her i knew something was wrong and didnt want a misunderstanding. That i was still interested to continue seeing each other, and if she wasnt on the same page, im cool with it and would back off completely and asked where she stood. shortly she texted me back saying she's cool seeing me, just prefers not to these 2 weeks cause she 'claims' she has a lot going on. regardless her interest has plummeted and i found out too late. Everything is awkward now, we feel like strangers...bah. thanks for the replies all. this is the last time im speaking to her, if she wants to salvage whatever is left then she can call. but im moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
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