Strip club- cheating?

[Toni_no12002]

You can still love your SO and still have doubts wether s/he will cheat or not.

Love is a complicated thing your always scared if they will leave you or if your not good enough.Its human to think this way.When you are in love you are besotted with that person,sometimes you may think they are too good for you.Yes trust plays a big part in a relationship but you still sometimes get scared about wether they will cheat or not.

[chrissy123]

I for one consider lap dancing cheating and a deal breaker in my relationship. It is disgusting for him to have some nasty chick rubbing her stuff all into his lap. If I am really that ugly and turn him on that little that he has to pay someone esle to turn him on then good riddence.

 

 

lap dances are basically slow dry humping, but who cares?

 

Ummm I would think anyone who wants to NOT BE CHEATED ON would care.

 

 

If you are OK with what goes on there you shouldn't let how anyone esle feel change your opinon though.

[Toni_no12002]

to be honest i do think its a load of rubbish that men go there to bond!i mean whats wrong with a normal club?

 

I always thought strip clubs was for people who wasnt getting any but it shows men are never happy.

[too unreal]

Welp…. In my opinion, if guys go to strip clubs to just hang out, crack jokes , stroll down memory lane and play the acquaintance game, then they can just as well do it at a bar, at their house, pretty much anywhere that doesn’t involve a gyrating woman with a sob story.

 

I think it is *EXTREMELY* unfair how we let our so-called committed men get away with letting a half naked woman gyrate on their lap. OF COURSE they go there for gratification, be it mental or otherwise. They go to get sexually stimulated mentally so they can go home to their wives and get some. The memory bank is now filled up and should carry them for 3 or 4 days until they need to restock again, either by the Friday nite strip club, at the bar flirting, looking at pornos, whatever.

 

But, I guess we have been desensitized and trained and taught that it is okay for our men to do this and if we have a problem with it then we are the crazy ones.

 

I happen to think that when one is in a committed relationship, one should not be touching, or allowing another to touch them in an inappropriate manner. I mean, come on here, its not like they are giving you a hug, they are GYRATING on your lap. How is this fair???

[alphabetoffeeling]

Hi Gia77,

 

You know about him going to strip clubs, so I wouldn't call it cheating. But it might be something that you want to address. Think about the shoe being on the other foot.

Question for him: you are out and about in a similiar sort of canned situation like watching chip & Dales with your friends. A man on stage does something to purposely get you aroused and it works. How does bf feel about it? If bf is alright with it, then I'd say he's fine going to strip clubs unless it bothers you, or you find it demeaning to women. Anyhow, I think it is worth a chit chat.

-AOF-

[whats wrong with me]

Most likely if he doesn't go to the titty bars often... "3 times in two years"...

he is not cheating. If you feel that he is next time he goes you go with, if he is against you going there might be a problem...

 

As to the comments that a stripper wont have sex with someone without getting paid.. that is SO not true...for every "prostitute" in the club there are 3 girls looking for a relationship and 6 sluts who do it with anything that moves.

[catgirl1927]

I for one consider lap dancing cheating and a deal breaker in my relationship. It is disgusting for him to have some nasty chick rubbing her stuff all into his lap. If I am really that ugly and turn him on that little that he has to pay someone esle to turn him on then good riddence.

 

 

lap dances are basically slow dry humping, but who cares?

 

Ummm I would think anyone who wants to NOT BE CHEATED ON would care.

 

 

If you are OK with what goes on there you shouldn't let how anyone esle feel change your opinon though.

 

This is EXACTLY how I feel about it. I'm so relieved to see other people feel this way, I want to cry. My BF doesn't go because it upsets me so much, but a lot of his friends go and invite him, and he says no, because "she won't let me." Then I'm the crazy, insecure person who is limiting his freedom. The problem is, I want him to not WANT to go, but I of course can't control that.

 

What do we think of this: A friend of my boyfriend's will go to a strip club, come home and he says they then have "amazing" sex because he's all aroused. I would be UTTERLY humiliated if someone had to go look at attractive girls, then come home, close his eyes and pretend I was them. I feel so sorry for her and really think she should divorce him and get herself and her children into a better place immediately. My BF thinks I'm being ridiculous.

[roxyg]

This is EXACTLY how I feel about it. I'm so relieved to see other people feel this way, I want to cry. My BF doesn't go because it upsets me so much, but a lot of his friends go and invite him, and he says no, because "she won't let me." Then I'm the crazy, insecure person who is limiting his freedom. The problem is, I want him to not WANT to go, but I of course can't control that.

 

What do we think of this: A friend of my boyfriend's will go to a strip club, come home and he says they then have "amazing" sex because he's all aroused. I would be UTTERLY humiliated if someone had to go look at attractive girls, then come home, close his eyes and pretend I was them. I feel so sorry for her and really think she should divorce him and get herself and her children into a better place immediately. My BF thinks I'm being ridiculous.

 

This is directed to catgirl, do you know your bf's friend is fantasizing about whatever he looked at while in bed with his wife? You don't, so you can't make a judgement call on him. If she is okay with it, let them be. Don't get involved in someone else's life just because you think these things are true for your life. I am against strip clubs, but I have been to one, and it was funny watching some of the stuff, and I did go with a whole load of friends. I guess I do feel it is demeaning to women, and we should think more of ourselves. I have had friends try to get me to work at strip clubs, but who wants to rub all over guys?! NOT ME!

 

To the original poster, just make your own judgement call on things. To all the other poster's thanks for the input, some of the post's I read on here make me feel like I am more sane than what I feel; and I also realize how pathetic jealousy can be in any relationship.

[catgirl1927]

This is directed to catgirl, do you know your bf's friend is fantasizing about whatever he looked at while in bed with his wife? You don't, so you can't make a judgement call on him. If she is okay with it, let them be. Don't get involved in someone else's life just because you think these things are true for your life. I am against strip clubs, but I have been to one, and it was funny watching some of the stuff, and I did go with a whole load of friends. I guess I do feel it is demeaning to women, and we should think more of ourselves. I have had friends try to get me to work at strip clubs, but who wants to rub all over guys?! NOT ME!

 

I would NEVER say anything to either one of them. Like you said, it's not my business. He really shouldn't have told me about it. And I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings, how do I know she even knows about it? But of course he's fantasizing about those women while he's with her, why else would he have to go to the club to get aroused? And congratulations on being the kind of girl people would ask to strip, not all of us are that lucky. I would LOVE to be attractive enough so that I could take off my clothes and KNOW people wanted me to. But not all of us are like you, so you can't really judge me.

[Gia77]

This is directed to catgirl, do you know your bf's friend is fantasizing about whatever he looked at while in bed with his wife? You don't, so you can't make a judgement call on him. If she is okay with it, let them be. Don't get involved in someone else's life just because you think these things are true for your life. I am against strip clubs, but I have been to one, and it was funny watching some of the stuff, and I did go with a whole load of friends. I guess I do feel it is demeaning to women, and we should think more of ourselves. I have had friends try to get me to work at strip clubs, but who wants to rub all over guys?! NOT ME!

 

To the original poster, just make your own judgement call on things. To all the other poster's thanks for the input, some of the post's I read on here make me feel like I am more sane than what I feel; and I also realize how pathetic jealousy can be in any relationship.

 

Yeah I agree Roxy. Who knows, maybe Catgirl's bf's friend's wife loves it when he goes to strip clubs b/c she thinks they have the best sex ever. I wouldnt feel comfortable with my bf regularly going to them nor would I feel comfortable if I felt he had to go to get turned on. I dont consider him going once in a while for someone's party as an attempt to get turned on. But I also agree with Roxy that jealousy can be pathetic in relationships. I think some of the girls take things too personally, like their guys looking at naked women at strip clubs, or even looking at other girls. We check out other guys too (strip clubs or outside of strip clubs), it doesnt mean we dont love our men or arent attracted to them. Boyfriends/husbands of strippers or even the hottest celebrities look at other girls too.. It's just human nature.

[catgirl1927]

You guys aren't telling me anything I haven't heard before. I wish I felt differently. If I didn't care about this, I would be a lot happier.

 

Please understand, my bf doesn't go because it upsets me. I don't like that at all, because now I'm the crazy insecure bitch who won't let him go. I just don't have TIME to be as beautiful as they are. I can't afford any more surgery right now, I have to work 70 hours a week and that cuts into my workout time. I can't tan anymore because of melanoma, I shouldn't have to die to be beautiful, you'd think they could cure that after all this time. I'm buying a house and can't afford mystic right now. And yes, I've ballooned up to a 6 because I've been eating badly, and I take responsibility for that.

 

It's just really not fair. I feel so overwhelmed by it all. I'm told I should be confident enough not to care, but what does that really mean? That I shouldn't care that he'd rather have sex with them? It's hard work to look like that, and I have to be as attractive as they are (more, so he doesn't want them) AND have a great career. I don't understand why I should be happy that he goes there, gets turned on, but comes home at the end of the night? That sounds like he's making a sacrifice, which I don't think he should do. If it's a sacrifice to be with me, if I'm second best, LEAVE. Some things are worse than being alone.

[a4a]

Whoa here wait a minute.

 

Why should you feel like crap because you do not want your BF, SO, or H going to look at other naked women and have them grind on him??

 

Where is it written in stone that every women has to think that this is ok?

Because men are visual creatures? Well I am a horny creature and I do not attempt to jump on dicks at every corner..... I could, I don't out of respect and caring for my SO.

 

If you don't like it, then you don't like it. Not a damn thing wrong with that. If it hurts you or makes you feel bad then why be with a person that wants to do this?

 

If you got off on seeing naked guys stroking themselves over your beer in a bar (which these places do exist) but it upset your SO would you expected to ignore his feelings and continue to go?

 

This porn and strip club crap ends up being a huge ordeal... I will never understand why people do not deal with this issue up front before going further into a relationship. Granted there are some that hide it both male and females.

 

a4a- thinks people should do what is right for them, not what is right for others.

[Toni_no12002]

And yes, I've ballooned up to a 6 because I've been eating badly, and I take responsibility for that.

 

You dont seriously mean thats big do you?thats in american sizes isnt it?whats that in uk?

[catgirl1927]

And yes, I've ballooned up to a 6 because I've been eating badly, and I take responsibility for that.

 

You dont seriously mean thats big do you?thats in american sizes isnt it?whats that in uk?

 

It's big for me. I'm short, and I'm usually a small 4.

 

Yes, it's American sizes, I don't know what it is in the UK though. I'm such a bumpkin I didn't realize there was a different system.

[Toni_no12002]

lol well i think that a size 6 is a size 10 here i think!i think its 2 sizes bigger sort of thing.

 

Im a size 14 uk size so that would be a size 10 there!Im not exactly sure if thats how it works but its something like that.

 

Im only 5ft7 but ive always had big boobs so if i was stick thin id look bloody stupid lol.

[catgirl1927]

Great... I'm a fatass on two continents!

[whats wrong with me]

It's big for me. I'm short, and I'm usually a small 4.

 

Yes, it's American sizes, I don't know what it is in the UK though. I'm such a bumpkin I didn't realize there was a different system.

 

Girl, you got some seriuos issues, I dont know where you're livin...but a size 6 is tiny even if you are 3 ft tall:laugh: !!!

 

Seriously though, even know this is not advice, just want to let everyone know, some guys go to strip clubs to SEE the fat girls. Some men like to see a fat girl that is proud of herself.

 

I once had a bf that wanted me to put on weight cause he liked a "full figure".

Geez, I was a size 14 at the time and thought I was a blimp!

[catgirl1927]

My understanding is, it's the confidence that really turns guys on. I'm impressed as hell with strippers. But they should be confident if they're beautiful enough that men will pay them to take off their clothes. They're perfect.

[cal gal]

 

Im only 5ft7 but ive always had big boobs so if i was stick thin id look bloody stupid lol.

 

I'm beginning to feel offended because now you are describing me - size 0 on bottom and big boobs.

[whats wrong with me]

My understanding is, it's the confidence that really turns guys on. I'm impressed as hell with strippers. But they should be confident if they're beautiful enough that men will pay them to take off their clothes. They're perfect.

 

I think sometimes its the confidence that turns guys on. But I have to disagree that strippers are confident, beautiful or perfect.

 

1.Alot of the strippers that I know have really low self esteem and thats why they do it. It makes them feel "pretty" when guys show an interest in them.

 

2. Have you been in a strip club? 75% of the girls are butt ugly! If they think they're hot they're in denial.

 

3. As for the guys paying the girls to take their clothes off...A. THEY ARE DRUNK!...B. most (not all) guys are pervs, they would give a buck to see ANYONE naked.

 

4. What is so perfect about a girl that dances naked or half naked in front of a bunch of stinky, drunk guys? I'm sure you have been to a party where a drunk girl took off her shirt and started dancing. Did you think she was perfect?

 

There is nothing exotic or erotic about stripping in a club or in public. I'll bet if you dressed really sexy and danced for your SO ( in the privacy of your home) he would be much more turned on by you than he would by ANY stripper.

 

one more thing I want to point out. If a stripper is so perfect why is she in the club at 12:00 A.M.? Why isn't she out or at home w/ her man? Either she doesn't have a "man" or "her man" doesn't care whether every Tom, Dick, and Harry try to feel her up, sniff her crotch or f*** her.

[Toni_no12002]

cal gal why was i offending you.I was talking about myself.

[cal gal]

cal gal why was i offending you.I was talking about myself.

 

 

You were describing me - It's alright though, I like myself just the way I am... no offense taken.

[TeaCooler]

 

one more thing I want to point out. If a stripper is so perfect why is she in the club at 12:00 A.M.? Why isn't she out or at home w/ her man? Either she doesn't have a "man" or "her man" doesn't care whether every Tom, Dick, and Harry try to feel her up, sniff her crotch or f*** her.

 

 

wow. you don't know a thing about a lot of these girls.

 

that was a bit judgmental.

[catgirl1927]

Most of them do have SOs, most of them make craploads of money, and I don't know where you're from but in Texas all the girls are gorgeous. Perfect breasts, no body fat, flat stomachs, long thick hair, PERFECT. And I disagree that guys will pay any girl to see her naked.

[whats wrong with me]

wow. you don't know a thing about a lot of these girls.

 

that was a bit judgmental.

 

I used to be one of "these" girls. I've seen it, been it and been there so I'm allowed to be judgmental.

 

 

Most of them do have SOs, most of them make craploads of money, and I don't know where you're from but in Texas all the girls are gorgeous. Perfect breasts, no body fat, flat stomachs, long thick hair, PERFECT. And I disagree that guys will pay any girl to see her naked.

 

Their SO's usually doesn't give a sh*t about them and the SO's usually blow all the money they make.

 

The girls do make alot of money, but not all the time. AND some of the girls make a crapload of money doing a little extra. (dont tell me they dont because they do whether its letting a guy diddle them under the table or worse.)

 

I've never been to Texas but have "worked" in 7 other states and I didn't find one place where they were ALL gorgeous.

 

go out to any STRAIGHT club this weekend, go up to a guy and tell him you will show him your tits or puss for a drink. See if he doesn't "pay" to see.

 

I know this posts seem like I'm just slamming dancers but I'm really not. I used to think the same thing about strippers (that they were perfect), but after being there I realised they are not. I just want you to know that a stripper is not any better (looks or otherwise) than you or anyone else.