Ex suddenly discarded and blocked me a day after claiming wanting to live together. Why the sudden change?!

[bbyxo]

My ex unblocked me after 3 weeks of no contact but hasn't reached out. Why? Apologies for the long message but i think its necessary to understand the story. Bare with me please!

My ex and I were together for 6 months in a long-distance relationship. We were very close, talked every day, spent hours on calls, and planned a future together etc.

He was very loving, genuine and affectionate but also struggled with trust issues and fear of rejection. We had several breakups over misunderstandings and arguments, usually initiated by him, and I was almost always the one who fought to fix things. He even admitted once that he expected me to chase him after a breakup and thought I didn't care when I didn't.

About 3 weeks ago one night a few days after we reconciled after yet another break up -he got distant a bit cuz that one hurt him alot but eventually seemed to be back to normal- he was telling me he was ready to live together and was expressing alot of love and was apologetic about his behavior of always breaking things off and promised to not do it again. Later that day we argued over quality time, and the next day, he blocked me everywhere without a word. 

Five days later, I sent him a loving positive goodbye message on another platform that he didnt block me on, i apologized for my mistakes and wished him the best then I removed him immediately afterward, so I don't know if he ever read it. Since then, I've maintained complete no contact and so did he.

Then like 3 days ago i noticed he randomly unblocked me on Discord, our main communication platform. No message, no friend request, nothing. He also blocked a close friend of mine the day he blocked me, he used to vent to them and ask for advice whenever we would get into a fight but theyre apparently still blocked.

We don't interact in the same circles anymore, and on discord you dont have to unblock someone to creep their profile. so there was no obvious reason for him to unblock me. I'm confused because if he doesn't want anything to do with me, why deliberately remove the block after almost a month?

Could he be missing me but afraid to reach out because he thinks I've moved on? Could he be hoping I'll contact him first, like I did during previous breakups? Or could he simply be over me already after just 3 weeks and no longer care about keeping me blocked? But then why not unblock my friend too..

Has anyone ever unblocked an ex without reaching out? What was your reason? 

Edited 21 hours ago by bbyxo

[BlueberryPie]

This all sounds rather immature and dramatic, to be honest.

How old are the two of you?

Have you ever met in person?

Have you ever even face-timed? (If not, this whole thing could be a catfish).

Texting or talking on the phone or online alone is not enough to know someone well, in my opinion. I've heard of so many situations where a couple thought they were deeply in love long distance, then finally met in person and realized right away that they weren't right for each other at all. That's because long distance only gives partial information about each other.

You can come to feel like you're very close but so much context is missing. How the person looks, smells, lives, how well what they say about themselves matches up with how they actually are, how they treat others, if there's even any chemistry in person, annoying habits and so on. In a lot of ways, you can get to know someone better with one real life date. If you have met before but most of your connection has been through these limited methods, the same as above still applies to a lesser degree. 

And even with this being long distance, you're doing all this breaking up and making up, in only six months? What on earth is there to fight about, when you don't even see each other? Yikes, I hate to think what would happen if you had moved in together.

It sounds like the two of you don't even get along in this limited way of connection, which would mean you're not compatible anyway. 

Going forward, I'd suggest not doing this again. Why not focus on local people, where you can easily get to know each other more fully, in each other's worlds, from the start. I'm not saying a lasting real life relationship can't start out long distance but the odds of it are a lot less. Good luck to you.

 

 

 

Edited 16 hours ago by BlueberryPie

[ShyViolet]

Who cares honestly?  This sounds like a terrible, volatile relationship that needs to remain in the past.  You were dating for only 6 months and in that 6 months you broke up multiple times.  That's ridiculous.  Your only concern should be moving on from this.

And it was "long distance".... so I must ask have you ever met this guy in person?

[ExpatInItaly]

3 hours ago, ShyViolet said:

And it was "long distance".... so I must ask have you ever met this guy in person?

I wanted to ask this, too. It's not clear how much time - if any - you two had spent together in person, OP. 

This relationship is toxic. All this arguing and all these break-ups in the span of 6 short months mean you two are not a match. This was never going to last. Talk of living together was make-believe. How old are you both?