Do you believe in soul mates?

[Night FM Radio]

I have some ideas which come to dating which may seem odd and go against some of the more practical dating advice I see on this forum.

Basically, I believe in Yin and Yang, and even though individual people are unique and complicated, I believe that balancing the yin and yang is a universal cosmic principle which goes beyond just dating, but relates to the meaning of life (for example, the whole idea of a "left-right" conflict in modern politics relates to yin and yang. During the French Revolution, the right wanted order, or yang, and the left wanted freedom, or yin). My thought is that, if people are balanced in terms of yin and yang, they can live a harmonious life and have harmonious relationships, but if they're out of balance, it will leads to problems in relationships and personal life. Men tend to be more yang, and women tend to be more yin.

I somewhat buy into the idea that you can meet a soul mate if you allow the Tao to guide you and avoid thinking or planning too much about how you go about relationships. That's something that may go against some of the more "practical" advice on this forum which seems to be about "fixing" relationships and "making them work" when problems come up. I kind of just buy into the idea that you're destined to be guided to your soul mate if you let the Tao guide you, and that you shouldn't try to "fix things" or change the person too much, but should just accept them as they are.

I think some will find my ideas too lofty and romantic, but I'd like to hear feedback on them.

Edited yesterday at 04:14 AM by Night FM Radio

[Sony12]

Believe in instant attraction and chemistry and that can at times feel like they are a soulmate. But in reality it's just two people enjoying having sex together. Truly falling in love takes time.

[introverted1]

The notion that your one-and-only soulmate lives/works within 50 miles of where you live and work stretches credulity.  If soulmates existed, they'd be more likely to be on the other side of the world than the other side of town.

I think people can find compatibility with many other people. I also think that staying together is a decision to love each other through good times and bad. It seems that people who believe in soulmates also expect things to always be easy and the determine that they were never actually soulmates when things get hard. 

[ShyViolet]

No.  This all sounds pretty obviously made up.  Humans look for patterns in the world around them, that's how they make sense of the world.  People see what they want to see, and they make up "theories" that fit the patterns that they see in their lives.

[Sony12]

Just look at it this way. Pet owners will often feel that they have the perfect dog. Does that mean they would be the only dog that would be that good? No. Lots of other dogs would be that good as well. The one they found just happened to be one of them.

Edited 19 hours ago by Sony12

[smackie9]

Sure but there is never just one....there are many. 

[Gebidozo]

20 hours ago, Night FM Radio said:

you shouldn't try to "fix things" or change the person too much, but should just accept them as they are.

Well, that depends on what exactly needs to be fixed and changed.

Fundamental issues such as sexuality, basic character traits, worldview / spirituality / ethics, intellectual life, sense of humor, etc. can’t be changed forcefully. If we find someone who is compatible with us in these, then yes, I’d call it a “soulmate”.

But other things can be changed or at least negotiated somehow if the partner has problem with them.