Should I leave? Does this man really love me?

[unsure1421]

9 months ago I entered into an affair with a married man. He proposed to me that we explore our connection for 6 months, while his wife was away on weekdays for work as part of a short-term contract. He said that this would give him enough time to know whether we could be viable as a couple. So for 6 months I was spending 3-5 nights at his house per week.  

3 months ago, his wife's temporary contract ended and she moved back into their home full-time. He told me he had now established that we could work as a couple, and that his next step was to determine whether he could feasibly end his marriage. Around 2 months ago, he decided that he could not, for various reasons - logistical, financial, reputational, as well as still loving his wife and their life together.

We decided to try to continue seeing each other, though with strict parameters. Throughout this timeframe we have seen each other only twice, but have texted frequently and had intermittent phone calls.

Now, he tells me that his feelings for me are too intense for the current situation, and that he has been reconsidering his decision to stay in his marriage. He also tells me he has been considering broaching the possibility of an open relationship with his wife.

That's the situation, briefly. I've tried to outline everything as factually as possible without injecting much of my own thoughts or feelings. I can't tell if this man really loves me and if it has reached the point I need to walk away. I would appreciate any opinions or advice.

[ExpatInItaly]

5 hours ago, unsure1421 said:

I can't tell if this man really loves me and if it has reached the point I need to walk away

He does not, no. 

He was just having his cake and eating it too while the wife was away. It was unfortunately very obvious what was going to happen when his wife came back. 

5 hours ago, unsure1421 said:

He told me he had now established that we could work as a couple

Girl - this guy would be your worst nightmare of a partner. Think about it: he is in the kind of person who not only cheats but also brings other women into the home (and bed, presumably) that he shares with his wife. That takes a spcial kind of selfishness, moral void and dishonesty. Is that really what you look for in a partner? Because that's exactly what you'd be getting if you actually had to deal with him full-time. Please don't be naive enough to think his awful character will not deeply affect any potential you have relationship with him, too.  What he currently does to his wife behind her back he will surely one day do to you, too. 

5 hours ago, unsure1421 said:

He also tells me he has been considering broaching the possibility of an open relationship with his wife

Yeah, right. Imagine how that will go down. 

5 hours ago, unsure1421 said:

if it has reached the point I need to walk away

Way past that point now. Even for a married cheater, he's one of the worst kinds you could have found. Demand better for yourself and get away from him as quickly as you can. 

[stillafool]

I don't understand.  Can you get a single man who wants only you or is a married man the best you can get?  This man is treating you and his wife terribly.  I can't believe you would go to a married woman's house and have sex with her husband in her bed.  Yes, he has used you and will continue to because you have no problem being disrespectful and being disrespected.