How to manage someone else emotions while yours are hurt ?

[Dlb2026]

Hello everyone, 

i would really like some help with this issue that I’m facing with my partner. In the first months of our relationship he was cool we got a great and all the good stuff. Also keep in mind we have an age gap of about 20+, but in a time of vulnerability, I fell for him and we been together ever since. as the month continuing on and we went through certain things I began to see that his past relationship trauma had started to take a toll on our relationship.. for what reason I really don’t know. It became constant arguments and nonsensical accusations that wouldn’t even make sense. It began to hurt my feelings a lot because all I do is work and come but to be constant attacked and accused just became draining. and the thing is he would never acknowledge how I felt big or small they next day would just resume. Over time ( I didn’t realize it at first ) i slowly started to push away because it felt like everything would trigger an argument. So the same pattern continues and i got to my breaking point . I couldn’t stay silent anymore as someone constantly picked with me comparing me to ex’s all for literally NOTHING and it was draining me emotionally on top of other stuff outside our relationship. Fast forward to now , we underwent some challenging circumstances, and were displaced out of our home. we were staying with a friend of his which became jealous leading to an unfortunate altercation and he got shot. In the same timeframe, his closest family member passed away .so now I am dealing with the blame for the circumstance that is out of my control and he continues to throw it in my face every chance he gets. He feels I have no right to be upset or feel any type of way because “he almost his life for my dumbass” as he like to say and simply degrades me , telling me how he’s wasted his time with me because he feels I owe him something.I’ve sacrificed a lot and hold a lot behind closed doors and my efforts are continuously looked over like we’re having a trauma or sacrifice contest for who should have the more of the right to be hurt or whatever.I love him but I refused to keep hurting myself when I’m angry with someone who seems to literally make it there agenda to talk to me any type of way when I’m just trying to have a normal life . What should I do ? 

[ExpatInItaly]

You need to end this relationship, OP. 

This man is emotionally and verbally abusive to you and has you exactly where he wants you - under his thumb. He does not value you and this is not love. Do you have another place you can stay? You need to get away from him as quickly as possible. Tell him the relationship is over but do not tell him where you are going. 

Stay safe. 

[Gebidozo]

10 hours ago, Dlb2026 said:

What should I do ? 

I think you should break up with him, he is being abusive.