How do I get my ex back

[Male42]

My ex just broke up with me after a six year relationship. 

About a year ago we broke up. I was doing two jobs and was going to school full time and was exhausted 24/7 and I ended up neglecting her and I put my emotional baggage onto her. She wanted me to see a therapist and I didn’t so she ended it. 

We ending up getting back together about four months later just as I took a travel job for three months but we chatted each day and she came out to visit, I did one more travel job and I was going to see her once a month for the three months job. During this time she was trying on engagement rings and was clear she wanted to be engaged and I made it clear I was happy about that. 

During this time I made sure to send her flowers every two weeks, other small presents and Uber Eats her breakfast some days. When I was around her I made sure to keep my phone away and gave her more pda.

Well  went home after that contract and was home for four weeks before going to my last three month travel job. 

I felt we got on well, we had a few arguments but overall it was good. My exes boundary is not to interrupt her on her work days as she has a stressful job. Well my company suddenly changed my contract so I went straight to her while she was working which really annoyed her. A few days later my company then said I haven’t been approved yet so I bothered her a second time. 

The day I was leaving she brought up coming out to see me and I can propose to her and for me to fly out to see her parents to ask there permission first, at the airport she was saying how much she loves me and she misses me already. 

When I got to my next contract she was telling me how proud she is of me etc. 

Well a week goes past and she asked what I thought of our relationship. I said I think it is good. She then just layed into me saying how I stopped therapy and I interrupted her during her work day and I have no respect for her boundaries and she can’t imagine spending her life with me after the four weeks we had. I’m thinking she just brought up getting engaged. 

A few weeks go by and she stopped talking as much then she broke up with me saying we are not compatible and I still put my

Emotions onto her which I did when I was stressed about my contract. She said she knows I was under a lot of pressure but she can’t handle my emotions along with the emotions of all her patients. 

Anyways im still here for another 2 months. She said when I get back we can separate all our things and move out of the apartment. 

She knows I’m alone out here so she said she doesn’t mind chatting to me once a week after my therapy session as I just started again. 

My question is what do I do? I still love her and she said this time she’s not coming back to me. I feel she is just talking to me because she knows I’m alone here. 

How do I play it if I want to have another chance? 

[ExpatInItaly]

19 hours ago, Male42 said:

During this time she was trying on engagement rings and was clear she wanted to be engaged and I made it clear I was happy about that.

Meaning what? Did you have a plan to actually propose to her?

Because she was clearly wanting to get married: 

19 hours ago, Male42 said:

he day I was leaving she brought up coming out to see me and I can propose to her and for me to fly out to see her parents to ask there permission first,

How did you respond to this? Do you genuinely want to marry her?

[Alpacalia]

The engagement conversations, the affection at the airport, and her telling you how proud she was of you I'm sure were genuine at the time but she still reached a point where she does not believe the relationship will work.

She'd been having doubts for a while, and those incidents with her work boundaries were the final straw. Especially because you'd already broken up once over similar issues, she might have felt like she was seeing the same pattern starting all over again.

You were working two jobs, studying full-time, and later dealing with stressful contracts. Don't beat yourself up.

Give her space and don't treat your weekly chats as a way to slowly win her back.

You can't control whether she gives the relationship another chance, and she's told you not to expect that. I'd take her at her word rather than putting your life on hold waiting for her to change her mind. If she ever does reconsider, it'll be much more meaningful if you can show that things have genuinely changed. You deserve to get through this too, rather than putting your life on hold waiting for her.