Money issue

[Gebidozo]

My girlfriend’s mother was on the verge of bankruptcy and urgently needed about 50,000$. I had pretty much exactly that sum in the bank so I transferred the money to her. Bear in mind that she doesn’t accept me as her daughter’s partner, and the request came from my girlfriend, not her (I pretty much volunteered to help once I learned the news).

Now, my girlfriend promised me that her mother will pay me back the money within one month. That was in early August, and she still hasn’t. My girlfriend keeps reassuring me that everything is fine and that the money will eventually be there. She says she constantly urges her mother to find a way to repay the debt. But I’m worried and having some dark doubts. That’s a very large sum and I feel insecure, nervous, and anxious.

Am I overreacting? Am I being unfair? Or am I having legitimate worries?

Thank you for your help.

[flitzanu]

i think you're valid to be worried.

i gave a close friend $500 over a year ago, and they said they'd pay it back in 2 weeks. 

i haven't talked/heard from them since i sent the money.

 

i think there's likely more responsibility to be felt about a tremendous amount like $50k, at least i'd hope.

[Acacia98]

17 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

My girlfriend’s mother was on the verge of bankruptcy and urgently needed about 50,000$. I had pretty much exactly that sum in the bank so I transferred the money to her. Bear in mind that she doesn’t accept me as her daughter’s partner, and the request came from my girlfriend, not her (I pretty much volunteered to help once I learned the news).

Now, my girlfriend promised me that her mother will pay me back the money within one month. That was in early August, and she still hasn’t. My girlfriend keeps reassuring me that everything is fine and that the money will eventually be there. She says she constantly urges her mother to find a way to repay the debt. But I’m worried and having some dark doubts. That’s a very large sum and I feel insecure, nervous, and anxious.

GetFamily Advice

 

Am I overreacting? Am I being unfair? Or am I having legitimate worries?

Thank you for your help.

Your worries are legitimate.
Look, you're not a bank. Banks cover their behinds. So if people default on loans, the banks don't get stuck out in the cold. You, on the other hand, you're not set up to cover whatever losses you suffer if the person you loan money defaults. And you know what? Stuff happens. The person you loaned the money does not have to be deceptive. They could have every intention of paying you back but get hit by illness, job loss, or some other tragedy. So please don't be so generous with your money. If you must lend people money, only lend them whatever amount you can afford to lose. $50,000 doesn't sound like an amount most people can afford to lose. 

I realize my advice is not useful for your current situation. But hopefully, it'll help someone facing the same situation in the future.

Regarding your current issue, did your girlfriend's mother sign anything indicating she was borrowing money from you and would pay you back? Did your girlfriend sign anything? I know this sounds extreme, but you may want to quietly consult a lawyer regarding your options so that you have a big-picture understanding of what you're dealing with. Also, your girlfriend should not have asked for or accepted your help. You guys should have allowed her mum to declare bankruptcy. That was probably the best thing for her to do under the circumstances.

Edited 2 hours ago by Acacia98

[basil67]

Your worries are legitimate!   If her mother had the means to pay you back, she wouldn't have been in this situation to start with.   Did she at least tell you what her plans were for earning the money to repay you?  

I have the feeling you're in a SE Asian country....I hope for your sake that it was 50,000 in the local currency and not USD/AUD/SGD

Edited 11 minutes ago by basil67