Mixed signals from a guy M48 I've known of for years F51 — need outside perspective

[blabbing]

 

Mixed signals from a guy M48 I've known of for years F51 — need outside perspective

I live in a small town in Spain. There's a guy in my neighbourhood I'd seen around for years with mutual attraction but never spoken to, until a few months ago we finally got chatting at a local bar over a shared love of running.

The next morning he called me out of nowhere and started bringing me gifts (fish from the market where he works, then a matching bracelet from a holiday he'd been on). Messaging was intense fast, all-caps texts about thinking of me all day, wanting to spend all his time with me. When I said I wanted to slow down, he respected it and pulled back.

We started seeing each other. On one date, I said no to sex (I had my period), and he tried to insist a couple of times before backing off and apologising. It left me uneasy. After that night he went quiet for several days; when I asked what was going on, he said a short reply to his next day text saying he'd had a good time seemed cold to him and that he'd been having a rough week with his son. We talked it through and moved on.

Since then we've kept seeing each other, but there's a pattern: he's warm and affectionate in person and says he really likes being with me, but he rarely initiates contact or makes plans. I'm always the one reaching out first. Recently he came for dinner, said "see you tomorrow" as he left, then didn't message again until I broke the silence three days later.

When I told him honestly how the inconsistency was confusing and upsetting me,he said he does want to continue, and suggested he's held back on messaging because I once asked him to slow things down, but that request was right at the start, before we'd even kissed, so it doesn't really explain why the distance has grown since we've become more involved, not less. That contradiction is part of what's left me unsure where I stand or what he actually wants . I've been away for a week and I haven't heard from him at all. Not sure what to do next. I feel like I have to initiate all the conversations now.

Not looking for a serious relationship necessarily, but I don't want to be a casual, low-priority thing either. Anyone been on either side of this? I'm genuinely confused.

give wife 37F another baby. How do I deal with this?