Stabbed in the back

[Anonymous]

Following on from my previous post about the mother's friendship group that I left due to their toxic behaviours. I'm now in a position that a person I considered a friend has now become close to the Queen B of the mum's group and are training to do a triathlon together. This person knows how badly hurt and traumatized I have been, even saying I have been treated badly and no interest in Queen B as she knows what she can be like. I noticed her becoming distant since her son was mean to my son in school. I didn't want it to be an issue between us as friends and I continued to try and organise meet ups with just us too which have never happened. I've texted her twice in past week to say Happy birthday and checking in to see how she's doing with no reply. Now I've discovered on social media that she and my nemesis are pally and training to do triathlons together. I feel like I've been stabbed in the back and Queen B knows exactly what she's doing to get under my skin. How many friends do I have to lose to this vile human being? Why does this keep happening to me? I am loyal friend and would never behave like this so why am I always being hurt like this. I am recovering from a break down and had so many knock backs this past week. A friend I met through work also stabbed me in a back after stealing a business idea I had and doing so with the person who was meant to partner up with me, who has ghosted me since I discovered this on social media. Seriously what is wrong with people. I can't cope with being constantly hurt by women who claim to be my friend but end of using me and stabbing me in the back. 

[ExpatInItaly]

15 hours ago, Anonymous said:

I'm now in a position that a person I considered a friend has now become close to the Queen B of the mum's group and are training to do a triathlon together.

To clarify before responding further - how often did you see or speak to her prior to this? 

[Gibbse]

We spent a lot of time together prior to this year. Spoke and texted often on the phone. We went to concerts, dinners, coffee, spent Halloween together. 

[Carlston]

There's a lot of details missing and there's more to this story than being shared, no doubt. But based on what IS written you sound like a jealous person who thinks people should be your friend and feel sorry for you because of past misfortunes. This friend of yours who is now friends with your nemesis has her reasons and it's likely you said or did one or more things that caused this result. If she wanted to be with you instead of or in addition to "Queen B" then she would be, however she's completely ghosting you. Learn and grow from the experience by being more introspective and trying to figure out what you might have done to piss her off. 

[Gibbse]

@Carlston thank you so much for your judgmental and unhelpful response. How dare you. You clearly lack compassion and missing a sensitivity chip and should not be on this platform if you can respond in such a way. This is a place for guidance not judgments. To say that I think people should be my friend and feel sorry for me due to my past misfortunes is completely inaccurate. You do not know me so please keep those judgments to yourself. I deserve to have friends like any other person. I DO NOT expect people to feel sorry for me. I expect people to behave in ways which are morally correct and decent towards other human beings. This isn't about jealousy in the slightest. These two have known each other for years, never really been friends but speak on occasions as their sons are friends and I have never questioned or been bothered about that. I do not have a right to dictate what others do or who they speak with. But this is someone who has gone through this with me and I've shared so much of my experiences with her as she has done with me with all the awful things she's been through. I did nothing to piss her off and we've never argued about anything but I have clearly been dumped and replaced by someone who has nearly destroyed my life but been brazen about it on social media. Is that behaviour okay? How would this make you feel?

[ExpatInItaly]

23 hours ago, Anonymous said:

I noticed her becoming distant since her son was mean to my son in school. I didn't want it to be an issue between us as friends

There might be something here. 

What happened between your sons, and how did you address it with her? 

[Carlston]

4 hours ago, Gibbse said:

@Carlston thank you so much for your judgmental and unhelpful response. How dare you. You clearly lack compassion and missing a sensitivity chip and should not be on this platform if you can respond in such a way. This is a place for guidance not judgments. T

I expect people to behave in ways which are morally correct and decent towards other human beings. 

I have clearly been dumped and replaced by someone who has nearly destroyed my life but been brazen about it on social media. Is that behaviour okay? How would this make you feel?

Friendship

 

The way you  respond to constructive criticism and well intended advice proves my point. You've oversensitive with unrealistic expectations. No one "deserves" anything. No one is obligated to be your friend. Furthermore you expect people to behave in ways that are morally correct and decent towards others. Well, here's a newsflash for you. Not everyone is, and they don't owe you a thing. As far as "being replaced", if it was me I'd move on with my life and understand I can't control other people and they can and will act as they see fit whether or not I view the behavior as being "ok". No one's going to destroy my life because I wouldn't give them the power. Clearly your mileage varies.

[Gibbse]

21 minutes ago, Carlston said:

The way you  respond to constructive criticism and well intended advice proves my point. You've oversensitive with unrealistic expectations. No one "deserves" anything. No one is obligated to be your friend. Furthermore you expect people to behave in ways that are morally correct and decent towards others. Well, here's a newsflash for you. Not everyone is, and they don't owe you a thing. As far as "being replaced", if it was me I'd move on with my life and understand I can't control other people and they can and will act as they see fit whether or not I view the behavior as being "ok". No one's going to destroy my life because I wouldn't give them the power. Clearly your mileage varies.

Self-Help& Motivational

 

Thank you so much Carlston for this second, more constructive feedback. This one I can accept because it gives me a clearer perspective of how maybe my expectations of people are too high and given me real food for thought. Your first response was not constructive criticism in the slightest it was just criticism and I felt incredibly judged by you. Yes I am overly sensitive, that part is true so thank you also for bringing that to light.

 

[Gibbse]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

There might be something here. 

What happened between your sons, and how did you address it with her? 

Possibly you're right here. My son had been bullied by another child for several years at school who were not addressing the situation. Her son and mine were friends. We met during school holidays for coffee with the boys and I gave her son a gift for his birthday. The boys got on fine and were playing with games on the coffee shop table. Two days later they were back in school and he told my son that he didn't like him anymore and wanted nothing to do with him. My son was confused to why this was as was I. I phoned his mum to check in to see if anything had happened and if my son had done something to upset her son then I will talk to him as he values his friendship with her son. She was shocked that her son had done this and apolgised that he had done which I gracefully accepted but acknowledged that my boy may have done something for this to have happen out of the blue. When she phoned me back she said my son hadn't actually done anything but it was that her boy just decided he didn't like him anymore and she was very sorry about this but said that she can't control what her kid wants and feels. I accepted this and said that they're kids and that we respect that. I told her that I hoped it wouldn't affect us as I value our friendship greatly which she said back also. I felt we spoke about the situation like two grown adults. Yes of course I was sad for my son who was absolutely gutted but I had to be rational and not let emotions to affect was a good friendship between us to women. The following weeks her son had gotten involved with the boy who had been bullying my son and together they made my son's life miserable and he was incredibly unhappy. My husband and I decided to move our son to another school so he could get a fresh start. I never addressed this situation with my friend at the time as my son asked me not to but she was aware (I assume by the bully's mum or school). She contacted me to check in to see how my son was and wished my son good luck in his new school. she even checked in after his first week to see how he was doing. I responded gracefully and thanked her for contacting. I didn;t want to held a grudge as the situation was done and my son is much happier in his new school with lovely friends. We had sporadic texts since initiated by me checking in to see how she and her family were doing. But as time has gone on I noticed she distanced herself and when i saw her at a public event back in June, she was very offish with me. 

[ExpatInItaly]

It doesn't seem as though the situation between your sons had much to do with it, unless she simply felt awkward about it after and chose to keep her distance. 

Whatever the case, you would be wise to stay away from anyone assoicated with your former friend (Queen B) and concentrate on meeting new people who are outside this circle altogether. I would also remove them from your social media. 

[stillafool]

On 9/19/2026 at 5:17 AM, Gibbse said:

This is a place for guidance not judgments.

No, this is a forum of opinions.  People are free to give their opinions on what is written and some you may not like.  It's best to ignore the responses you don't like  and move on to the next one.  Guidance should be given by professionals.

I remember your old posts about these friends.  Others and I have given the opinion that you should move on from this group and not try to befriend any of them.  For whatever reason they just don't like you.  I'm sorry that they have hurt you.  I'm also sorry that you had a breakdown and am wondering if they were part of the cause for it.  I think it would help you to pull your son out of that school and move him to another one, so you don't ever have to see those people again and make some new friends.   You brought up this friend before too and we told you it was best to let her go be with Queen B's group and to leave them be.  I don't think it is fair to expect this friend not to be friends and train with Queen B if they get along well.  I also don't see this as you being stabbed in the back, she is just friends with someone you don't like.   Why would you call her twice in one week to wish her H-B Day?    The fact that she hasn't gotten back to you means she is busy probably celebrating her birthday this week and will reach out to you next week or she is uncomfortable and trying to distance herself from you.  My opinion is still it is best for you to move on and get new friends.

Edited September 21 by stillafool

[stillafool]

17 minutes ago, stillafool said:

I think it would help you to pull your son out of that school and move him to another one, so you don't ever have to see those people again and make some new friends.   

I see you've already pulled your son out of that school and that's a good thing.  Now you and your son can start over, and you can make new friends with the moms at his new school.  I think you should just let this other one and Queen B go for good this time.