Coworker: friendly or interested?

[ForbiddenLove]

I’m in my 40s and have developed an attraction to a coworker. We don’t work closely together and only occasionally overlap professionally, so this isn’t someone I sit next to every day or report to.

Over time we’ve started talking a little more personally. He gave me his personal number even though we both have work phones, and recently we had a long personal text conversation outside work. He shared quite a bit about himself, asked me questions about my life, and the conversation went on for a couple of hours. I flirted a little but probably subtly enough that he may not have been sure I was flirting.

He has also come over to my work area before for a work related reason and then stayed and talked after the original reason for coming over was basically over. We recently followed each other on Instagram too.

The part that makes me hesitate is that he has never initiated a personal text conversation with me. To be fair, I have only initiated personal conversations with him twice, months apart, so it isn’t like I’ve been texting him constantly and he just responds.

He is currently away visiting family and I’ve been debating whether to send a simple hope you’re having a good vacation text, but I don’t want to be intrusive or come across like I’m chasing him. Part of me also wants to wait and see whether he ever initiates contact on his own.

I’m not at the point where I don’t know if I want a relationship with him. I’m definitely attracted to him, and I’m genuinely curious about him and would like to get to know him outside of work to see whether there’s actually anything there.

I’m considering eventually asking if he’d like to hang out outside work, but I’m nervous that I’m interpreting normal friendliness as possible interest.

If you were in my position, would you keep lightly flirting and see whether he starts initiating, or would you just ask him to hang out and see what he says?

[Sony12]

While workplace romances happen all the time it also at the same time can be a very touchy situation with people misinterpreting feelings and intentions. At this point it just seems to be a normal workplace friendship. However he at the same time as of yet hasn't turned you down or given you uninterested vibes.

The best thing to do is just send him a note telling him that you enjoy being around him and if he isn't seeing anyone currently if he would be interested in going to do something together sometime. Just give him the note and leave it at that and it would be up to him to respond. If he doesn't respond that would be an answer as well so just give him a note and leave things up to him to respond or not respond.

Edited 19 hours ago by Sony12

[Sanch62]

One of the best ways I get to know a coworker is to message that I’m talking a walk at 3 if the’d like to join me for a short break.

[flitzanu]

4 hours ago, ForbiddenLove said:

 

He is currently away visiting family and I’ve been debating whether to send a simple hope you’re having a good vacation text, but I don’t want to be intrusive or come across like I’m chasing him. Part of me also wants to wait and see whether he ever initiates contact on his own.

 

so you don't want to make your interest known, but you want him to make his interest known before you admit to it?

how is that going to get anywhere?

just ask him to lunch.

[ForbiddenLove]

4 minutes ago, flitzanu said:

so you don't want to make your interest known, but you want him to make his interest known before you admit to it?

how is that going to get anywhere?

just ask him to lunch.

I have made my interest known slightly. I’ve flirted a little in text to try to show some interest. I’m afraid to be too forward.

[ExpatInItaly]

13 hours ago, ForbiddenLove said:

I’ve flirted a little in text to try to show some interest. I

What did you say?