EVLloyd11 Posted August 28 Posted August 28 I’m 31, an unpaid full-time carer for my two disabled parents, and I've never been in a proper relationship. I have a BSc and MSc in cybersecurity, but my social life has essentially stalled due to my caregiving duties, past bullying that tanked my self-esteem, social nerves, and mobility/weight challenges from post-trombotic syndrome. On the brighter side, I love hiking, trekking, gaming, and post-punk/goth music. Given how constrained my time and energy are, how can I realistically start meeting people or building a dating life when my world revolves around caring for my parents?
ExpatInItaly Posted August 29 Posted August 29 15 hours ago, EVLloyd11 said: Given how constrained my time and energy are, how can I realistically start meeting people or building a dating life You probably can't. I don't mean to be harsh but I don't really see how you can meet anyone for dating purposes when it seems you have such little free time. How would that person fit into your life?
Lotsgoingon Posted September 3 Posted September 3 (edited) I think there's a lot you can do First of all, you have to. break your isolation. You can't take care of both parents. That's a mission of self-destruction. You need to go talk to the state disability folks, medicare and medicaid folks and find out some options, including hiring outside help paid by the government. The real challenge is that if you are caring for both parents, most likely you are too full of guilt to break free of that. You have to break free of that. Visiting parents frequently is one thing. Overseeing care, checking on doctors, running errands--all of that is fine. Caretaking both of them to such an extent that you can't work is beyond what a compassionate, responsible adult child is required to do. Edited September 3 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Sanch62 Posted September 3 Posted September 3 I would contact your local hospital’s human services department for a referral to a case worker who can assist you in finding resources for care and help you plan steps in setting up a support system and possible financial assistance. 2
smackie9 Posted September 4 Posted September 4 (edited) Contact a social worker, healthcare government agency. If you don't look, you won't know that there are tax write offs, tax benefits available to you. Your parents are eligible for welfare, disability, government pension. Do they own their house? You can reverse mortgage, and freeze their property taxes. Maybe seek out an accountant to see what information they can provide. It's possible you can get government funding to get them into a facility or part time in home care. For yourself you can continue with your education with an online university so you can study on your own time. Edited September 4 by smackie9
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