Anyone else surprised divorce filings are at a 20-year low?

[dunechanter]

Been thinking about this lately, divorce filings apparently hit a 20 year low last year, per a breakdown I came across: California Divorce Statistics: Divorce Filings at 20 Year Low in 2025

Divorce is such a polarizing topic that it's easy to assume things are trending worse, so seeing the actual numbers go the other way surprised me a bit.

Curious what people here think is driving it. My guess is better tools for finding compatible partners early on, more people delaying marriage until they're more established, maybe even premarital counseling becoming more normalized. Could also just be economic factors making divorce less accessible, which isn't necessarily a good thing even if the number looks good on paper.

Does anyone here have thoughts on why the numbers might be dropping? Genuinely curious whether this is a "things are actually better" story or something more complicated underneath.

 

[Kurumi]

I actually lean pretty close to your view on this.

Even though life moves much faster now, I think people have also become much clearer about what they want from a relationship. There seems to be much less willingness to simply “settle” because of age, family expectations, or the idea that marriage is just the next thing you're supposed to do.

Something I’ve noticed among people around me is that some may date quite a few different people while they're single, but once they genuinely feel they've found the right person, they can actually become very committed and loyal. I think part of that comes from knowing themselves better and having a clearer idea of what kind of love and partnership they’re looking for.

Younger generations also seem less likely to view marriage and having children as obligations. For many people, marriage is becoming more about choosing someone they genuinely want to build a life with, rather than following a traditional timeline or having children because society expects it.

Of course, there’s another side to that. People marrying later, being more selective, and putting less pressure on themselves to have children may also be contributing to declining birth rates.

So I’m not sure the lower divorce numbers necessarily mean relationships themselves have suddenly become easier. Maybe we’re simply seeing fewer people rush into marriages they aren't sure about in the first place.

I’d be curious to know whether others see that as progress, or whether we’ve become almost too selective about relationships today.

[ExpatInItaly]

I think divorce can be expensive and messy, and in these leaner financial times, many prefer to avoid it unless totally necessary. 

I can't speak for California, but I know several couples who separate and stay that way for years without officially divocing, often because of the aforementioned reasons. Most eventually formalized it with an official divorce when one party met someone else and wanted to move forward with that person. So I tend to think it has less to do with the quality of relationships and more to do with having a lot to lose financially or emotionally. 

[lemonicetea]

I think it has more to do with people being more selective about who they are marrying. Several years ago I overheard two coworkers (who were their 50’s/60’s) talking about how many young people are “too picky” and back in their day you just got married to someone you met in high school. I was thinking to myself “you’re saying that like it’s a bad thing”. 

[basil67]

I'm n Australia and there are many de facto couples. This is because de facto marriage has legal recognition here.  

As it so happens my hubby and I are nearly 35 years de facto, so if we were to break up, there's no record of it.   That said, cost of housing is so wild that I think that even de facto couples struggle to break up

[Gebidozo]

23 hours ago, Kurumi said:

I’d be curious to know whether others see that as progress

Personally, I see that as progress.

Sociocultural pressure to get married and have kids as soon as possible has ruined (and in many parts of the world is still ruining) too many lives. Sure, people can make bad choices, but the likelihood of ending up in perpetual misery with an unloved, unloving partner is significantly lower.

Any step towards freedom of choice is progress.

As for being too selective - I think it’s better to err on the side of caution in these matters. Being single and happy is certainly preferable to being in a relationship and feeling terrible. Finding a fitting romantic partner later in life is much better than never finding them due to being stuck with an unfitting one.

[Lotsgoingon]

I definitely see this as progress. My view is that the feminist movement (which I support) gave women a much stronger voice in relationships and women started holding guys more accountable. My mother remembered the times when she couldn't get her own bank account or credit card in her own name. How do you "leave" under those conditions? 

Congress passed a law banning this type of discrimination in 1974. I don't know about you, but 1974 sounds late as heck to me. Anyway, my point is that when it became more possible for women to leave, more women left! I think the research is clear that women initiated divorce more frequently than men. 

Well over time men adjusted. I'm not a parent, but I can tell you that fathers these days are far more emotionally connected to their children and share much more about themselves than fathers of my dad's generation.  And that openness applies to their marriages as well. 

One element of this decline in divorce (not sure it's mentioned in the link) is that the divorce rate among college grads has plummeted far more than the divorce rate among non-college grads. I'm not sure anyone has fully explained why that division has emerged. Probably several factors: college grads generally make more money, might have more confidence and skill in negotiating the challenges of life, maybe college grads are more open to therapy and couples counseling (not that couples counseling is a magical solution--it's not). 

Lots of college educated guys love having a wife who makes good money and is super sharp. 

 

[Kurumi]

5 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said:

I definitely see this as progress. My view is that the feminist movement (which I support) gave women a much stronger voice in relationships and women started holding guys more accountable. My mother remembered the times when she couldn't get her own bank account or credit card in her own name. How do you "leave" under those conditions? 

Congress passed a law banning this type of discrimination in 1974. I don't know about you, but 1974 sounds late as heck to me. Anyway, my point is that when it became more possible for women to leave, more women left! I think the research is clear that women initiated divorce more frequently than men. 

Well over time men adjusted. I'm not a parent, but I can tell you that fathers these days are far more emotionally connected to their children and share much more about themselves than fathers of my dad's generation.  And that openness applies to their marriages as well. 

One element of this decline in divorce (not sure it's mentioned in the link) is that the divorce rate among college grads has plummeted far more than the divorce rate among non-college grads. I'm not sure anyone has fully explained why that division has emerged. Probably several factors: college grads generally make more money, might have more confidence and skill in negotiating the challenges of life, maybe college grads are more open to therapy and couples counseling (not that couples counseling is a magical solution--it's not). 

Lots of college educated guys love having a wife who makes good money and is super sharp. 

 

I'd like to hear more from you. May I add your contact ?