Being infantilized

[lemonicetea]

I’ve long felt that my parents, but mostly my mom, infantilizes me. Just for the record I’m in my upper 30’s. If I listed every time my mom has treated me like a child this post would be 10 miles long but here are two recent incidents.

About a month ago my mom was going to do something with my younger cousins and asked me if I wanted to come with. I told her that I was sorry but I already had plans with a friend for that day. She asked me who my friend was and I told my mom her name. I then half jokingly added “she’s nobody you know” and then my mom said that was the problem and she doesn’t know any of the people I hang out with. I’ve mentioned my friends in passing to her (and my dad) before but it’s typically just stuff like “I have a friend who likes this” or “my friend said that”. I’ve never really gone into in depth stories about my friends. I just didn’t feel like it’s necessary. 
 

More recently I went with her to a big garage sale her friend (that I’m just going to call Mary) was having. I’ve heard a million stories about Mary but I’ve never met her before (my mom has only know her for about five years). We get there and Mary runs around the corner of her house calling my mom’s name. My mom warned me that Mary was a big hugger. She turned to Mary and was like “Lemonicetea is not one for hugs but…” she turns to me and asks me to hug Mary. I obliged because I didn’t want to seem rude but it felt kind of awkward hugging someone I didn’t really know. Heck, I usually don’t even hug my actual friends. We went about our business and after we got back to the car my mom did apologize for making me hug Mary and I totally accepted her apology but the whole thing is weird. 
 

Anyways I want to talk to my mom about how I feel but I don’t know if I’m just being too sensitive or if I actually have a case here. 

[basil67]

I'm not seeing you being infantilized.  

First paragraph - I find it very odd that you don't name the person you're referring to.   Are you deliberately not letting her into your life?  Even my friends name the person in their story even if I've never met them.

Second paragraph, she should have said that "Lemonicetea is not a hugger" and left it at that.  But she was doing her best to keep the peace between two people who are opposite in terms of hugs and chose the wrong solution.  You accepted her apology/explanation and no harm done.  

[ExpatInItaly]

6 hours ago, basil67 said:

I'm not seeing you being infantilized.  

I agree. 

I get why telling you to hug someone was annoying, OP,  but it sounds like you have already settled that with her. I also don't get this: 

10 hours ago, lemonicetea said:

I then half jokingly added “she’s nobody you know”

Why did you make that comment?