Feelings for my Cousin's Husband****UPDATE AUGUST 2026 (ORIGINAL POST AUGUST 2022)

[gbadboy]

This is an update from my original post 4 years ago!  I suspect if you click on my name you'll see the history. Many of you provided me with great advice (some harsh but necessary)....and I wanted to give an update 4 years later from my original post as there was a "minor" development? .....

A reminder I'm a gay male and I live in say Hamilton, Canada. Miles and his family live in say.....Vermont.

I'm in a much better place now with Miles (my female cousin's husband). Our cousin relationship has FINALLY gotten back to normal in that Miles and I will text and message often enough and he'll even video call me on his own and we'll have private chats sometimes!   He's told his sister and blood cousins on his side that I am the best of his cousin's..the number one!     Also when Mile's dad recently passed , Miles gave me his dad's 24K gold Cartier Luxury Desk Clock ...it's worth over $3000 USD.

All in all the relationship between us has been great BUT something happened last week when I met up with him and my other cousins....we all drove up for a mini vacation meet up in say..... Cleveland for the weekend and rented an AirBnb....his wife and kids and my other cousins and their wives and kids and my brothers and their families. Anyway we were partying and the last ones up were Miles and I. Everyone else went to bed and Miles and I were having some drinks playing some music and just hanging till maybe say  4am!  Anyway he went to go lie down on the living room on the sectional L shape couch with his head on one end and I decided to also sleep on the other end of the couch with my head way at the other end.   We fell asleep but say almost around 6am we both woke up and some how Miles had moved closer to me so that his feet were like right by my face as he layed down and my feet were by his face. Clearly he had moved positions which I thought was odd. And then he started to rub my leg and massage my leg and feet....it was quick but he started touching me first. Again we were alone in the living room while everyone else were in their rooms asleep. I decided to return the favour and I began rubbing his legs, massaging his leg and then I took his sock off and began massaging his feet.  It lasted about a minute or so and then he got up from the couch and told me it felt good and he went upstairs to go look for a proper bed to sleep in....and he fell asleep.  Rest of the weekend was normal but I thought that encounter was odd given EVERYTHING I've been through with him per my previous posts on here.   Again I'm a gay male and we are with mid 40s but he's married to my female cousin.  Anything odd about that?

Edited 18 hours ago by gbadboy

[ExpatInItaly]

5 hours ago, gbadboy said:

Anything odd about that?

What isn't odd about it? 

He shouldn't be touching anyone but his wife that way, and you should not allow that or touch him that way, either. Stay away from married men, and have more respect for your cousin.

 

[Sony12]

I wasn't a member yet back then when you made the original post back in 2022 but I went back and read it through your posting history.

You need to be very careful in regards to your interactions with Miles. Miles is clearly a guy that jokes about sex a lot (a lot of guys do) and probably does it to deal with his insecurities about sex and some potential prejudices he has. One thing to also keep in mind is that there is a good chance Miles is being friendly with his wife's family because he wants to make his wife happy and not necessarily because he considers all those people to be great friends of his that he would remain good friends with even if his marriage were to end. 

Heterosexual guys will often make sex jokes with each other all the time but it's more of a 'hey buddy' type of thing for them then anything sexual. If they ever did think it was turning sexual they would quickly put their guards up just like Miles did that day you touched his chest in a way that he felt was inappropriate.

I honestly think you need to start focusing more on your relationship with your actual blood family (his wife) as she is the real reason you are being invited over to their house and have become friends with Miles. Throughout all these posts you have made about this topic everything has been about Miles but you have barely spoken at all about her. Do you not really interact with women very well? Just curious as some people prefer to talk to the sex they are attracted to while others have more friends with the sex they are not attracted to.

Edited 12 hours ago by Sony12