What does early interest look like?

[Anonymous]

Say point A is first meeting. Say point B is the first date, texting, etc.

 

When you reach point B, interest is obvious, you text, send jokes, maybe give small gifts or favors right?

 

But I never see any stuff talking about the stuff at the beginning

 

Online people just say "yeah. I saw him and was into him. We end on a date it was magical. We're now married with 3 kids".

 

Or like. Yeah if a girl is sending nudes or dirty texts, that speaks for itself right? But that isn't gonna happen right when you meet someone (it could but that isn't the norm)

 

What does chemistry look like BEFORE that first date or texting exchange. What does the soil look like before that little green leaf pops through.

 

You never hear about what the flirting looks, what the chemistry or connection looks like when the dynamic is brand new..week 1, week 2. What does it look like before you really hit the gas. How does it go from "hi stranger" to "let's go out"

[basil67]

We were attracted, had sex all night then went on a first date.

[E in N]

On 8/9/2026 at 11:04 AM, Anonymous said:

Or like. Yeah if a girl is sending nudes or dirty texts, that speaks for itself right? But that isn't gonna happen right when you meet someone (it could but that isn't the norm)

 

 

 

It's happened to me many times over the years right after meeting someone. 

I delete them and move on.

 

 

[Lotsgoingon]

Great question and it's understandable that you are confused.

On a really good first date, it's not about what people are saying--it's about how it feels.

On a good date, you will feel good, really good. The conversation will interest you, create some curiosity maybe in you. And you'll feel that the other person likes what you're saying and likes being with you and wants to know more about you, from you. 

You don't really control good dates. You more sorta surrender into the energy of the date. And you do NOT have to work hard or be perfectly witty and so on. You will feel your own interest and you'll feel their interest. 

[Gebidozo]

On 8/10/2026 at 12:04 AM, Anonymous said:

What does chemistry look like BEFORE that first date or texting exchange.

On your side, you just feel it, obviously.

On the other person’s side, there is no way to tell. That’s why people go on dates.

The less you try to figure out whether the other person feels chemistry with you, the better. It’s a pointless exercise that kills romance. Just ask the person out on a date. Either the chemistry will develop and be obvious to both, or it won’t, and then you’ll get your answer.

[E in N]

On 9/3/2026 at 7:35 PM, Gebidozo said:

On your side, you just feel it, obviously.

On the other person’s side, there is no way to tell. That’s why people go on dates.

The less you try to figure out whether the other person feels chemistry with you, the better. It’s a pointless exercise that kills romance. Just ask the person out on a date. Either the chemistry will develop and be obvious to both, or it won’t, and then you’ll get your answer.

Well said.