Longing for him when I will never get him again

[terminallycapsLCKED]

Hi all I'm new here and will give some context

I (Male) recently have been broken up with by my boyfriend of 3 years. There is no going back even though there is still love in both our hearts and he has made it clear I believe. I want to be back with him but I don't want to make him unhappy. What hurts the most is that empty feeling in the middle of my chest and the longing just to feel his soft hand or to feel a hug from him one more time. I'll never get to feel those things again, and even if I did find love again it would never ever be the same. He was my first true love and I had planned my whole future with me and him in mind. We were so close with each other and it tears me apart knowing it was all my fault. Its only been a week and a half and I can't stop feeling this doom and utter sadness in whatever I do. I try cheer myself up by talking to friends and joking around but when everyone is gone and asleep I lay awake feeling empty inside. I don't know how to cope and even if I throw myself into all my hobbies I'm afraid I wont be able to feel joy like I used to with him. I am attending my final year of school soon and I am afraid that I will be too deep in a depressive state to even care. I catch myself thinking and acting like I am fine and everything will be ok when it truthfully wont be. I still constantly worry for my ex boyfriend and I hope he is doing ok. I want him to live the best and most fufilling life he can even if I am not in it. 

Can anyone relate to this and maybe give some support on how to deal with all this.
P.S sorry if any of this breaks the rules/guidelines I hope I havent broken anything though

[Gebidozo]

On 8/5/2026 at 9:30 AM, terminallycapsLCKED said:

I'll never get to feel those things again, and even if I did find love again it would never ever be the same.

It won’t be the same, it will be great in a different way.

 

On 8/5/2026 at 9:30 AM, terminallycapsLCKED said:

Can anyone relate to this and maybe give some support on how to deal with all this.

Well, I’ve had 3 official divorces, 1 breakup of my longest relationship so far (7 years) at the age of 46, and many other breakups. Some of them felt like the world was ending. One time I was contemplating suicide because of a breakup.

We all go through that kind of thing. Breakups suck. Sadly, I can’t offer any wisdom here besides banalities such as “time heals all wounds”, “what doesn’t kill you make you stronger”m “never say never”, and so on. They are so banal because there is a lot of obvious truth in them.

[flitzanu]

the only real truth most of us can give you is that it is going to hurt and going to suck for a really long time.

and then one day you'll wake up, and realize that it hurts less.