All of my life I've wanted lots of platonic female friends as a guy. I'm 41, and I'm trying to think up ideas.

[Clinton Borror]

I am at the extreme end of the aromantic spectrum and a 41 year old guy. Me being at the extreme end of the aromantic spectrum means I can't feel romantic love. I don't want to date anyone for that reason. Sex seems like it would involve too many confusing variables for me to want to deal with it, so I don't want that either.

What I've always wanted are lots of platonic female acquantainces. I've been very jealous of many flamboyantly gay guys, because they seem very unintimidating to women, and have lots of female friends, but I just don't have that type of feminine personality that I think attracts women.

A few years ago, the best decision I made was to join a community college specifically to meet people, especially women. I joined several clubs and that was great. What was especially nice was that I was 37 years old, so everyone being so much younger than me meant that the girls perceived me as an unintimidating friendly uncle sort of figure, rather than someone who might want to be close enough to their age that I might want to date them, and I loved that. I love environments where women perceive me as a sort of uncle or brother figure - someone unintimidating and friendly. I had a lot of fun playing D&D and in a philosophy club and board games club and it was a lot of fun making people chuckle, especially the girls. 

I would prefer to have that type of environment with women closer to my own age...because it definitely seems kind of weird for a guy in his late 30s to be joining clubs specifically to be around girls who happened to be teenagers, but community colleges are an environment in which you can find lots of women/girls to talk to and be friendly with, so I took what I could get.    

I'm 41 now. I figure it was weird enough to be hanging around a bunch of teenagers at 37. Now's about the time when it'd be beyond my preferred weirdness boundaries to be willing to do again...but I'd still like to find some way to find opportunities to have lots of friendly contact with something of the opposite sex. 

I'm wondering about looking into LGBTQ+ communities. Those sorts of groups seem like they might involve lots of platonic male/female friendships. I don't consider myself LGBTQ though.  Any other ideas for how a 41 year old guy could meet women to just talk to and hang around? I am attracted to women to, so that complicates things a bit. A lot of middle-aged women who are married or in serious relationships won't have much interest in going out of their way to be around middle-aged strait men. 

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

 

 

[Kurumi]

Hello, you're quite unique among the men I know, because most men consider sex important. But I need to clarify something here: Platonic love doesn't advocate abandoning sex, but rather focusing on the connection of souls, because the connection of souls is eternal.

So, do you simply enjoy making friends, or do you crave a woman who appreciates and loves you?

 

[contemporaryjump]

I actually think the platonic friendship part is interesting because there really aren't that many places specifically built around meeting people without the dating expectation. I've been hearing about spontap lately for that kind of thing, which seems like an interesting alternative.

[Lotsgoingon]

You are way overthinking this. The vast majority of my close friends are women. And I'm hetereo and I'm single. Some of my friends are married. Some divorced, some single. 

As for hanging with groups of women, don't worry about that. Are you having fun? If you are having fun out with people, keep doing it. Period. Nobody's looking at you. 

[Lisa]

Thread closed.  Looks like a drive-by