E in N Posted July 20 Posted July 20 After taking a break from dating for a while I went out on a date last night. She pretty much did all the talking. Several times throughout the evening I would try to get some words in and she would interrupt me and start talking again. Eventually I just stopped trying and let her talk. It was quite draining.
Sony12 Posted July 20 Posted July 20 Happens. Some people enjoy talking about themselves while others don't. If it's not compatible with how you like to have a conversation a second date is definitely not in the cards. 1
Sanch62 Posted July 20 Posted July 20 One way to tell if you might enjoy a second date is to make room for the fact that nervousness makes some people jump to monopolize the date. Given that, decide whether you might be otherwise attracted to her if she could tone that down. If not, then no further action is needed from you. If she asks you out, you can just say that you don’t foresee the two of you becoming a good match, and leave it there. However, if you are attracted enough to give her the benefit of doubt, you can ask her for another date. Once you see her again, you can respectfully tell her that you like her a lot and you hope she will give you the opportunity to participate more in the conversation to even things out. Either she will understand and appreciate getting to know you, or not. If not, she owns no self control, and you can back out of extending the date longer than you wish. But if she receives your message and becomes someone you enjoy dating, then that’s a win/win. 1
ShyViolet Posted July 21 Posted July 21 Oh, this is the worst. It really is one of my biggest pet peeves when people talk too much. The type of people who just talk nonstop and you can't get a word in edgewise-- completely exhausting and unpleasant to spend time with. I can't stand people like that and this would be a huge deal breaker for me. 1
Alpacalia Posted July 21 Posted July 21 Good conversation is a two-way street. Some people talk a lot because they're nervous, but repeatedly interrupting you and dominating the conversation where you're left feeling drained does not make for a good impression or a good first date. I personally don't mind if someone talks more than me because I prefer to be a good listener. But the date does need some curiosity about the other person otherwise it's like listening to a podcast. 2
smackie9 Posted July 21 Posted July 21 Ya it's never a good sign when that happens. At least you got to get out of the house for a night....that's what I always told myself.
Author E in N Posted July 21 Author Posted July 21 She did tell me she was ADHD and taking Adderall twice a day. Not sure if this is a factor here? I'm not saying this to be disrespectful, btw. Thanks.
Alpacalia Posted July 21 Posted July 21 1 minute ago, E in N said: She did tell me she was ADHD and taking Adderall twice a day. Not sure if this is a factor here? I'm not saying this to be disrespectful, btw. Thanks. Oh yes, my sister has ADHD and she is a chatter box. Still, good conversation usually involves curiosity, listening, and making space for both people. Of course, she could have been nervous, excited, or just unaware of how much she was dominating the conversation. Sometimes people are much more relaxed after the first-date nerves wear off. But, if you felt drained after one date, that’s probably a compatibility issue. No need to go down the rabbit hole trying to analyze every possible reason why she was that way. The bigger question is simply whether you enjoyed being around her...Doesn't sound like you did, so pass.
flitzanu Posted July 22 Posted July 22 a more direct question - did she talk the whole time and "say absolutely nothing" - or, did she talk the whole time and say interesting things? 1
Author E in N Posted July 22 Author Posted July 22 4 hours ago, flitzanu said: a more direct question - did she talk the whole time and "say absolutely nothing" - or, did she talk the whole time and say interesting things? She talked about her job, friends, family, and past relationships through the whole evening.
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