I'll be gentle parenting my son and I'm Latina, is this rare that I'm against fear-based compliance?

[samsungxoxo]

My husband and I are against anything fear-based compliance (threatening, hitting with objects or yelling). Over the years, my stance on corporal punishment on kids have remained the same; I feel abomination towards it. I feel it was pointless and it's always about lacking patience and not knowing what to do. It's always about a reactive method instead of being proactive and really taking the time to teach even if you won't get results immediately and takes longer time. 

Secondly, it can and definitely has led to some parents escalating to harder physical punishments with belts, straps, sticks, hoses, etc and not stopping even when the kid was crying in pain. That was obviously done out of frustration and rage. It was never to teach. It was just them wanting to get it done and over with; always about unloading their intense emotions just because the kid pissed them off at that moment.

Finally, even if it were under a controlled setting and few hits...I feel it's still lazy and humiliating. It's even worse when people use religion as an excuse to do it. It takes no challenge getting obedience from a kid you had to force into submission. Anyone can obey if they're afraid of getting hit. Anyone can parent in that manner. I don't feel that's genuine respect. It's just avoiding things out of fear.

Is it rare that I'm Latina and into gentle parenting? I want a much better upbringing for my son, away from generational trauma, away from fear-based compliance? I've felt for the longest that hitting or using verbal threats (ex: telling a kid or teen that you'll knock their teeth if they ever backtalk to you) isn't discipline and never was.

 

[samsungxoxo]

The reason why I might ask if it's rare is because too many Latinos are into still fear-based compliance and think that's the only way. I find that disturbing. I'm also tired of the ''I got hit a lot and thanks to that, I'm a decent person''' crowd mentality. 

[ClearEyes-FullHeart]

I am not a parent but would be against fear-based parenting full stop. I commend you, and recommend that you ignore what other people say or think about how you parent(easier said than done, I am sure). Many people haven’t educated themselves or gained the type of enlightenment you have. 

I realize children are not animals but studies show that positive reinforcement is the most effective training method, including for pets and large animals like horses and tigers, etc.
i grew up with horses, competed nationally for some years and know this to be true. I am on my second dog as an adult, both raised from a young age, and also know force-free and positive reinforcement work. These approaches build trust and engagement from the pet/animal, and a strong bond.

Many dog owners in particular believe otherwise and use shock collars etc. but I don’t let that influence me. I find it truly sad and abhorrent. Aversive tools like that are banned in many countries more evolved than mine (the US)…(no surprise esp in our current ugly time, sadly).