lemonicetea Posted July 6 Posted July 6 I have a causal friend I met on Bumble BFF a little over a year ago. For the first few months we met up about once a month or so to do things like to walk the mall or see a movie. Last fall she told she was going back to school and will be busy with school work on most Saturdays. I told her I understood and we could always meet up on breaks. The last time I physically saw her was last December over Christmas break. Anyways fast forward to now I told her about a 4th of July event nearby and asked her if she wanted to go. She said it sounded fun and we made plans. So on Saturday I go to the event and wait about two hours for her to show up but she never did. I get a text later that evening saying that she forgot this was happening and she can’t make it because she had “safety concerns” and went to the hospital. I sent her a text saying “get well soon”. Like I want to believe her, but a part of me is skeptical. Like I’ve been in numerous situations where someone (like a newer friend or someone from an app) has blown me off and only later I hear about some calamity that has happened in their life. Of course I understand accidents and emergencies happen but I guess I’m sort of jaded. Like I’m just tired of seeing this song and dance over and over again. Like am I in the wrong for feeling like I don’t entirely believe her? I do plan on sending her a text in a few days asking how she’s feeling. Again she’s not someone that I’d consider a close friend, but I still liked her.
ShyViolet Posted July 6 Posted July 6 It sounds like this casual friend has been purposely avoiding you. You haven't hung out with her since December. People make time for what is important to them. She doesn't sound interested in continuing a friendship with you. It doesn't matter so much whether you believe her. You have to look at her actions. I would stop pursuing a friendship with this person. 1
Sanch62 Posted July 7 Posted July 7 Does she stay in touch while she’s away? Do you message one another and schedule phone convo’s to catch up? Did she contact you when she came into town, or did you reach out with this invitation?
Author lemonicetea Posted July 7 Author Posted July 7 13 hours ago, Sanch62 said: Does she stay in touch while she’s away? Do you message one another and schedule phone convo’s to catch up? Did she contact you when she came into town, or did you reach out with this invitation? Well she never moved out of town (her classes were online and she would occasionally visit a campus that was about an hour away). She reached out either MLK Day or Presidents Day (I don’t remember which) asking if I wanted to do something but I already had plans that day. We would text on occasion but I think the last time we texted was like in March. I was the one who reached out to her because it’s been a while.
Author lemonicetea Posted July 15 Author Posted July 15 I just wanted to add an update but last Saturday I sent her a text saying that I was thinking of her and asked her how she was feeling. I have not gotten a response. So either she isn’t interested in me anymore or something really bad happened, but the ball is in her court now. 1
Alpacalia Posted July 16 Posted July 16 Safety concerns + hospital could be real. But also... she forgot about it? It wasn't even on her radar? Keep it low-key, see what she says. You don't have to cut her off or anything dramatic. Just maybe stop investing so much energy into making plans with her? i mean, if she reaches out and suggests something that works, cool. But I wouldn't be the one proposing stuff anymore. 1
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