The other woman i have

[Anonymous]

Ive been married 3 years now.

She decided to move to go to school, total of 18 months.  She's been gone for 7 months now, and its been difficult.

Out of boredom, i joined a dating site.

Random woman messages me, and we hit it off.  She lives about an hour from me.

We are both in relationships, but she does not know about mine.  She says she was separated from her man when she decided to join the dating site.

When we met, we agreed it was just once and only to meet.  We ended up hanging out til nearly morning, no sex.

Its been about 3 months, and we've hooked up 4 times.  And constsntly messaging each other.  She keeps insisting that we will have a future together, i dont have the heart to tell her this is not going to happen, as much feelings I have for her.  

Im not sure what I'm suppose to do, i know that we are falling into emotions at this point, but I cant let her go.  Ive tried and it was like having bad withdrawals (ive been an addict before).  She told me she will not lose me (scary).

But when we are together, incredible sparks.  We are incredibly fit for each other, mentally and physically, wild wild sparks.

How do i keep the sex going, and slowly detached mentally?

 

She's mentioned of leaving her BF (wealthy guy) but I insist she doesnt and that maybe he will change and give her the love she deserves.  Hes very busy with his career (or so he says) and often ghosts her, sometimes on trips.  She said I fill the void (no pun intended) that he leaves, and he said he has no intention of marrying her or can see a future with her.  [ ] 

[Gebidozo]

If you like each other so much then the first thing you need to do is put an end to the ongoing deception. Divorce your wife and demands that she breaks up with her boyfriend. Then you can resume the relationship without tarnishing it by lies, which no relationship can survive.

Edit: I just noticed that you insisted that she doesn’t leave her boyfriend?

If so, then I don’t understand what’s going on at all.

Either you want to be with your wife, and then of course you must terminate the affair right away, confess to your wife, express deep regret, and hope that she’ll forgive you (which isn’t likely).

Or you want to be with that new woman, in which case obviously you both need to terminate your current official relationships.

There are no other ways to proceed here.

[ExpatInItaly]

This is going to blow up in horrible fashion if you don't start using your noggin, OP. 

8 hours ago, Anonymous said:

How do i keep the sex going, and slowly detached mentally?

This is not going to happen, and it seems to be reflective of a pattern of immature thinking on your part.

In my opinion, you should not be married. You are not committed to your wife and your default to solving those uncomfortable feelings of loneliness during this physical separation was to sign up on a dating site. This again is an immature way of dealing with life. 

8 hours ago, Anonymous said:

We are incredibly fit for each other, mentally and physically, wild wild sparks.

Well, no. You don't know this, because you are not currently presenting the real version of yourself to her. You are only presenting a half-truth with an awful lot of deception. She doesn't know you are married. You can't claim to be an incredible fit when you have draped that connection in lies. Tell her the truth and then see how much you fit. 

8 hours ago, Anonymous said:

Ive tried and it was like having bad withdrawals (ive been an addict before)

Did you receive proper treatment for this? There is a pattern of chasing the high here again.