Mark79 Posted May 27 Posted May 27 Hi, I hope someone can help reassure my anxious brain as I am constantly worrying about everything in my relationship. I have been dating a women for about 4 months now and we have progressed into boyfriend and girlfriend. Everything is going really well and we communicate every day, been away together and said we love each other. The topic of ex partners came up and we both said that our exes text us occasionally and we both agreed this was fine. I said I'm still friends with my ex partner who I was married to and again she didn't have a problem with this. A couple of days ago we were on a date and I was showing my girlfriend something on my phone when my ex text me and a notification came up. I immediately called out that was my ex and my girlfriend said 'that's fine and we spoke about this'. I said I'm happy to show our text message but again she said she trusts me. I'm getting so anxious about whether I did anything wrong? Is it ok to still be friends with your ex? Any advice and reassurance would be much appreciated Thanks
Carlston Posted May 27 Posted May 27 Next time you're getting dressed or undressed look down. See if you can find your balls. They're down there somewhere. Seriously dude clingy anxiety ridden dudes are not attractive to women. "You called out that your ex texted you". That's cringeworthy.
Gebidozo Posted May 27 Posted May 27 It is okay to be friends with exes. Suggesting to show your girlfriend that text, however, is weird. It feels like you have something to hide or are too eager to prove something to her.
E in N Posted May 27 Posted May 27 3 hours ago, Mark79 said: Is it ok to still be friends with your ex? I've never been married but have been in several long term and short term relationships. One of them lasted 11 years. She remained friends with her ex and eventually went back to him. My last relationship was only 6 months. She remained friends with her ex and went back to him. There have been others as well. What bothers me the most is all the lies they told me until everything was in place. Yes, you can be friends with an ex but it's a slippery slope for me. Anyway, I'm new here and would like to say hello and wish everyone a great day. 1
ShyViolet Posted May 27 Posted May 27 7 hours ago, Mark79 said: my ex text me and a notification came up. I immediately called out that was my ex and my girlfriend said 'that's fine and we spoke about this'. I said I'm happy to show our text message but again she said she trusts me. Don't do this, it's weird and insecure. You made this into a bigger deal than it needed to be. It is not automatically a bad thing to be friends with an ex. Sometimes exes do remain friends. You don't need to "prove" anything to her any time your ex texts you.
Els Posted May 27 Posted May 27 (edited) Have you tried working on your anxiety in general, e.g. with a therapist? I think it's completely fine to be friends with exes, especially if both of you are doing the same thing and have said you are okay with it. Not being in a romantic relationship with a person doesn't mean that you can never talk to them. Edited May 27 by Els
Sanch62 Posted May 29 Posted May 29 Yeah, there’s this thing called over-sharing, and announcing your incoming messages and offering a phone inspection falls into that—big time. What kind of help are you getting or seeking to manage your anxiety?
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