Anonymous Posted May 24 Posted May 24 I met a woman, and within a week, we were texting a lot, hundred of texts per day. We meet, and instantly connected. Having intimacy on the 2nd meeting, also being the last. Its now been a month, and things got fast. She doesnt want a relationship, but doesnt want to meet very often either. She still texts a lot, about random things. Yesterday, I said we need to distance each other, as I feel like this isnt a relationship that I thought it would be. Everytime I try to plan a date, she denies me, saying she can't or wont, because she isnt ready to meet, or to wait some unknown amount of time. I told her that us talking so much and not being able to meet, is taking a toll on me and im unable to handle it. She texted this morning saying goodbye. Did I handle this wrongly? I think about her a lot and really like her, and feel she does as well. I know there's a no contact rule in this sort of thing, so should I wait to contact her and tell her maybe I made a mistake? Quote
moonlightsway Posted May 24 Posted May 24 I feel maybe I was being selfish because the sex was great and I wanted more and suddenly it stopped. Aita? Quote
ExpatInItaly Posted May 24 Posted May 24 2 hours ago, Anonymous said: I know there's a no contact rule in this sort of thing, so should I wait to contact her and tell her maybe I made a mistake? Why would you? She doesn't want to date you. She wants you to keep her company until she meets the next person she likes enough to date, and then you will be left high and dry. If that doesn't sound like fun, cut all contact with her and keep it that way. 1 Quote
moonlightsway Posted May 24 Posted May 24 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: Why would you? She doesn't want to date you. She wants you to keep her company until she meets the next person she likes enough to date, and then you will be left high and dry. If that doesn't sound like fun, cut all contact with her and keep it that way. Anyway to tell her we could have friends with benefits? I actually dont want any committed relationship, but was willing to for her. She's way above my league. Kind of feel like i was the rebound, maybe even the side guy. Quote
moonlightsway Posted May 25 Posted May 25 Oh, she just texted me and randomly started flirting. Saying shes at the market and wants to cook for me. Mind games for sure. Man, women are crazy, and men are stupid for sure. Quote
Gebidozo Posted May 25 Posted May 25 1 hour ago, moonlightsway said: Oh, she just texted me and randomly started flirting. Saying shes at the market and wants to cook for me. Mind games for sure. Man, women are crazy, and men are stupid for sure. Well, you’re certainly trying to confirm that second part of your statement by being unreasonably mad at someone who has been completely clear and straightforward with you. She said she doesn’t want a relationship with you. She is free to keep flirting with you or do whatever she wants as long as you keep agreeing to that. There is nothing “crazy” in that. If you don’t want to be treated in that way, control your totally misguided anger and cut off contact with her. It’s that simple. Quote
moonlightsway Posted May 25 Posted May 25 16 hours ago, Gebidozo said: Well, you’re certainly trying to confirm that second part of your statement by being unreasonably mad at someone who has been completely clear and straightforward with you. She said she doesn’t want a relationship with you. She is free to keep flirting with you or do whatever she wants as long as you keep agreeing to that. There is nothing “crazy” in that. If you don’t want to be treated in that way, control your totally misguided anger and cut off contact with her. It’s that simple. No one is mad. If i ask her directly what she wants, she says she doesnt know. Leading to believe I'm in a roster with other men. Quote
Gebidozo Posted May 25 Posted May 25 4 hours ago, moonlightsway said: No one is mad. If i ask her directly what she wants, she says she doesnt know. Leading to believe I'm in a roster with other men. You said “women are crazy, and men are stupid for sure”. That sounds quite mad, is an unfair generalization, and is also incorrect in your case. She isn’t crazy. She just doesn’t want a serious relationship with you. Whether she considers dating other men right now is irrelevant. Quote
moonlightsway Posted May 26 Posted May 26 11 hours ago, Gebidozo said: You said “women are crazy, and men are stupid for sure”. That sounds quite mad, is an unfair generalization, and is also incorrect in your case. She isn’t crazy. She just doesn’t want a serious relationship with you. Whether she considers dating other men right now is irrelevant. Met with her tonight. It was awesome. Serious relationship isnt on my mind though, im fine with this. I think she should be on meds, maybe bipolar? She is either saying depressing things, or crazy into me. Tonight, in my vehicle, we were chatting. She mentioned having fat, shes like 110 lbs and no fat. I said no youre really fit and have a nice body, she said is that all you care about? I said no, I tapped her head and said I like the whole package. She jumped on me and yeah, it was nice. Quote
ExpatInItaly Posted May 26 Posted May 26 (edited) So, what is your question at this point? She doesn't want to be your girlfriend but your ego feels fluffed up when you play into her ego and are rewarded for playing along. What is the issue? Just be prepared for when she suddenly isn't interested in your anymore and doesn't reach out. If you are going to be upset about that, mind your boundaries. Edited May 26 by ExpatInItaly Quote
bozoclowncox Posted May 26 Posted May 26 3 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: So, what is your question at this point? She doesn't want to be your girlfriend but your ego feels fluffed up when you play into her ego and are rewarded for playing along. What is the issue? Just be prepared for when she suddenly isn't interested in your anymore and doesn't reach out. If you are going to be upset about that, mind your boundaries. Sounds harsh. I'm waiting for a man to reach out. It's natural to be hurt and disappointed when they don't reach out, isn't it? 1 Quote
ExpatInItaly Posted May 26 Posted May 26 18 minutes ago, bozoclowncox said: Sounds harsh. I'm waiting for a man to reach out. It's natural to be hurt and disappointed when they don't reach out, isn't it? If you're over-invested, yes. That is my point. That is why this whole arrangement is not a great idea for you since your feelings are already wrapped up in it. It isn't going to feel very good when it fizzles out because she's spending time with someone else. Quote
moonlightsway Posted May 26 Posted May 26 2 hours ago, bozoclowncox said: Sounds harsh. I'm waiting for a man to reach out. It's natural to be hurt and disappointed when they don't reach out, isn't it? Part of life. Isnt the first time and wont be the last. Im putting up with this because she is way out of my league. Quote
bozoclowncox Posted May 26 Posted May 26 32 minutes ago, moonlightsway said: Part of life. Isnt the first time and wont be the last. Im putting up with this because she is way out of my league. No, it's not a part of life. The league thing is complicated. You sound like you really like her and I'm sorry you are going through this. Quote
moonlightsway Posted Friday at 04:10 AM Posted Friday at 04:10 AM Going to see her again tonight. Fun fun Quote
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