sillyprincess Posted May 15 Posted May 15 Like for a while I know that everyone was in to dashing their second names Mum wasnt married so we have the same name apparently here I can give the baby any name I want and its easy for me to change my name to. I sorta like the idea of having his name and I want the baby to have his name. I thought of putting the dash in but our names look weird together. I don't want it to have the same name as mum and me because I want it to have a dad
Acacia98 Posted May 15 Posted May 15 I think the "normal" thinking depends on your culture and individual preference. Do whatever makes you happy and makes the most sense for your situation.
ShySoul Posted May 15 Posted May 15 The baby will still have a dad regardless of the name, so long as the father is an active part of the child's life. Normal is whatever you want it to be. If you want to take his name, do it. It's your choice so do what makes you feel happy. And if it's easy to change where you are, you can always change back if something happens. 1
Els Posted May 17 Posted May 17 (edited) The only thing that matters is how you feel about it. Some of my friends take their partner's name socially but not legally, the legal stuff can be a real pain in the behind. I also know couples that took each other's names and couples who just kept their individual names. Personally I didn't change my name and neither did my husband. It's extremely rare for people to change their names legally in my culture, and I don't feel the need to either. If he is an active parent, your child will have a dad regardless of name or not. Some dads are dads in name only, and that's even sadder. Edited May 17 by Els 1
ShySoul Posted May 17 Posted May 17 1 hour ago, Els said: If he is an active parent, your child will have a dad regardless of name or not. Some dads are dads in name only, and that's even sadder. And some dads are dads even without the name or the biology. My father got with my mom when she already had two sons from prior relationships. The first father abandoned them. The second was abusive. My dad was far from perfect, but he still cared for those sons despite not being biologically his or having his name. My oldest brother did the same when he married a woman with two daughters. And my brother in law also married my sister when she already had a son. Family comes in all different types. What matters isn't the name or superficial things. It's the love that you show each other. 1
MsJayne Posted May 17 Posted May 17 Is the father your long-term partner? Has he got any intention of marrying you? If not, my advice is to give the baby your surname only, and if you end up getting married, (to the father or to someone else), you can then change it if that's what the child wants. 1
Author sillyprincess Posted May 18 Author Posted May 18 Im English but we live in Australia I dont know thats why Im asking I guess most people keep their own name but dash the kids name I think but like i said I think our names look weird together, so I just want the baby to have his name. My mum won't even fly out if I pay for it so I'm not having my kid stuck with her name I think that like somebody said Ill tahe his name socially but not legally unless we do end up married. He said he would and was super sweet about it but Ill wait and see how i feel Im a bit scared of having the baby and I might hate his guts after.
Els Posted May 18 Posted May 18 4 hours ago, sillyprincess said: My mum won't even fly out if I pay for it so I'm not having my kid stuck with her name It's not just her name, though, it's YOUR name. Trust me, all of us have that one ancestor that we wish we didn't have. If you're not married I think you should just use your name. If you are the sole parent in the future it will be much easier for the child to have your name. For instance, if you travel with a child whose name you don't share legally, some places will ask for proof of parenthood, so you'll have to bring the child's birth cert with you everywhere you go.
Recommended Posts