Simply Put: Is Nudity a Problem in a Family

[IrishDU]

So for background, I'm Irish Catholic but grew up in Australia and call it home.  But I guess you could say that I grew up with fair bit of Catholic Puritanism.

My fiancé is from Europe.  She has a far more casual attitude towards this, she believes in being proud of her body, and has raised her daughter to be the same.

Now to be clear, she's not into "Nudism" or "Naturism" as such, but she is stunningly beautiful and doesn't mind showing it off.  I guess perhaps she also comes from a background where what I would think of as "privacy" was not something they worried much about.

Since we became a couple and they came to live with me in Australia, they had had the attitude that A is now MY daughter too.  Whilst that warms my heart, and I love them both dearly, it's led to some awkward conversations.  We spoke on this at some length, and her response is always "but she is your daughter."  ie that I shouldn't be uncomfortable around either of them.  And TBH it's not something I can get my head around.

It's well into Autumn here, so the pool cover is coming out.  But now my fiancé wants to get a Hot Tub, and a steam bath.
And to be clear, if she really wants this, then she'll get one.  I'll either give in, or she can just buy it herself.

The problem I now have is that I have been trying to lay down the rules in this regard.  For the first time, my fiancé has become somewhat irritated, and my pushing the issue has now created some awkward questions.

I love "our" daughter, and she really is a great kid, but I think at times she is deliberately winding me up.  She is 13 and like a scaled down version of my fiancé.
I have made it very clear that I simply cannot be anywhere near our daughter, when either of us is less than appropriately clothed.  First up my fiancé thought it was funny, then she thought I was being a prude, and now she's upset because she thinks I'm confessing ungodly thoughts.  

HOW do I explain this.  I keep using words like "inappropriate" but she just asks "why?"
We have finally I think drawn the line that "Papa Gets Embarrassed".  SO there's no coming into our room without knocking and waiting, no coming into our bathroom when I'm in there, and discussion of her parents' "activities" is completely off limits.
But even that is a matter of my setting rules, rather than mutual understanding.

TL;DR:  My fiancé is from Europe, she thinks that a family seeing each other naked is no big deal, and that we should be able to enjoy a Hot Tub or Steam Bath with our 13 year old daughter, and at some point I may have to start "respecting" her point of view

[Tia_minds]

Grew up in a pretty modest household so it always felt like a big deal to me, but I have friends who grew up with it being totally normal and they're completely unbothered. I think it just comes down to what the family's comfortable with and what feels natural to them.

[introverted1]

You received many responses when you first posted about this: 

 

[Sanch62]

5 hours ago, IrishDU said:

we should be able to enjoy a Hot Tub or Steam Bath with our 13 year old daughter, and at some point I may have to start "respecting" her point of view

You don't need lay opinions; you need to consult an attorney in your location to learn the laws about exposing yourself to a 13-year-old.

[ExpatInItaly]

You're starting to come off as a creep, quite frankly. 

You've already posted about how your teen step-daughter gets naked around you, walks around the house naked and has gotten in your bed naked. No, this is not normal and I don't buy that you're that naive or clueless. 

You got a lot of responses to that. Are you getting off on telling people about this or something? 

[Sanch62]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

You got a lot of responses to that. Are you getting off on telling people about this or something? 

Yep, that's exactly what I think. It's up to you to decide whether you're concerned about breaking laws involving minors and potential prison time, not us.