I had a falling out with the man I’m dating, should I try to fix things

[Carlston]

21 minutes ago, Imogen_77 said:

How disrespectful on his part.

You spelled controlling wrong.

[Sony12]

22 minutes ago, Carlston said:

You spelled controlling wrong.

As I said in an earlier post it's almost like both of them try to accelerate the dating process. There technically wouldn't be anything wrong with sharing the info/opinions or asking the questions that they did if they had been seriously dating for quite awhile. It's the fact that they were doing this after only a few weeks of dating that makes it extremely questionable on both sides.

[ExpatInItaly]

It's better that you're apart now, OP. 

Neither of you seems to have a handle on healthy dating, and as such, don't really have the skills to navigate issues like this one. There are boundary issues on both sides and a lack of discretion overall. 

This was not a good match. Better to close the door, reflect, and see what you can learn from this experience moving forward. 

[RichardGarcia]

I would leave it alone. Three weeks in, this is already way too intense and way too personal for something that barely got off the ground. Whether you meant well or not, once you're discussing his surgery, his boundaries and your future sex life this early, the whole thing is already off track. If he reaches out, slow it way down. If he doesn't, let it end.

[RichardGarcia]

I would leave it alone. Three weeks in, this is already way too intense and way too personal for something that barely got off the ground. Whether you meant well or not, once you're discussing his surgery, his boundaries and your future sex life this early, the whole thing is already off track. If he reaches out, slow it way down. If he doesn't, let it end.

[RichardGarcia]

I would leave it alone. Three weeks in, this is already way too intense and way too personal for something that barely got off the ground. Whether you meant well or not, once you're discussing his surgery, his boundaries and your future sex life this early, the whole thing is already off track. If he reaches out, slow it way down. If he doesn't, let it end.

[Acacia98]

On 4/5/2026 at 2:27 PM, Anonymous said:

 In his car he asked to see eachothers phones, and asked if I’d been speaking to/been on a date with any other men. I didn’t show him my phone but was honest and showed him a platonic text from some guy who I used to date, asking me how I was etc. I only showed it to be honest and wasn’t flirting. He went crazy at me, shouting, calling me disrespectful. I was shaking at home and still feel rough the next day. I have blocked him on everything 

You shouldn't have shown him any text message. 

It's okay for two people to discuss whether they're dating exclusively and what their policy is on staying friends with exes. But nobody should be demanding to be shown anyone else's phone. And nobody should be yelling at anybody. This guy is way too controlling (frankly, he sounds unhinged), and, like I indicated before, he's trying too hard to accelerate intimacy. I'm sorry you had such a frightening experience. But I'm glad your time together is over.

Edited April 18 by Acacia98

[Sony12]

Looking at the OP (Redarrow's) activity it doesn't look like they have even logged on for almost two weeks now (around the time they sent their last message) so this thread can probably be put to bed as at this point as there is a good chance the OP won't even read what people are saying.

Always kind of amuses me how people often just disappear as soon as they hear some things that they don't necessarily want to hear. Makes me kind of think that some aren't really looking for advice. They just want people to back up what they are thinking.

[Liliana09]

On 4/5/2026 at 4:04 AM, Sony12 said:

Yes and there is a big difference between actually wanting someone to move in and just making an off the cuff statement about potentially moving in sometime in the future. I'm guessing she may have taken that statement by him more seriously than she should have.

Sounds like' future faking', because how could 2 people know they want to move in together after just 3 weeks of dating!??.

I think they got intimate too soon as well, should have gotten to know eachother more first .

[ChrisTheCat]

On 4/4/2026 at 6:17 PM, Imogen_77 said:

Maybe give him a few days to simmer down. If he wants the surgery, that’s up to him; it’s a standard fix for phimosis and should help him out. I don’t think you were being insensitive at all (unless I missed something in your OP) ….. you were just looking out for him by suggesting a urologist first. Is there a reason he’s looking abroad specifically? It seems a lot easier to start with a local specialist and go from there. Either way, it’s his body and his call, but your suggestion came from a good place.

I was also wondering why he needed to go 'abroad' to have the surgery ?

Where is 'abroad' in this instance?

It seems a bit odd.