I had a falling out with the man I’m dating, should I try to fix things

[Carlston]

21 minutes ago, Imogen_77 said:

How disrespectful on his part.

You spelled controlling wrong.

[Sony12]

22 minutes ago, Carlston said:

You spelled controlling wrong.

As I said in an earlier post it's almost like both of them try to accelerate the dating process. There technically wouldn't be anything wrong with sharing the info/opinions or asking the questions that they did if they had been seriously dating for quite awhile. It's the fact that they were doing this after only a few weeks of dating that makes it extremely questionable on both sides.

[ExpatInItaly]

It's better that you're apart now, OP. 

Neither of you seems to have a handle on healthy dating, and as such, don't really have the skills to navigate issues like this one. There are boundary issues on both sides and a lack of discretion overall. 

This was not a good match. Better to close the door, reflect, and see what you can learn from this experience moving forward. 

[IrishDU]

Ok first up, he's a guy, and a young guy at that.  If you ask a guy if he would give up an inch in height for an inch in length, even somebody who is 5ft tall, will say YES!
Guys that age still have two brains, and do most of their thinking with the lower one.
Feeling inadequate in that department, much less having an actual problem, is debilitating.

Secondly, if lack of penile performance is such a big issue, then you're doing sex wrong.  I'm assuming he does have hands and a mouth?

I do think that trying to get too much into his medical business, so early on, is a bit much.  Especially given how much of the male ego is tied up in this.  You're not wrong, he sould be speaking to local medical experts, rather than self-diagnosing and heading to Mexico or Thailand.  But it IS his ___k.  Maybe wait and see how it turns out?

As for "should you try to fix things?"  I say yes, only because you shouldn't have broken up over this issue alone.

[RichardGarcia]

I would leave it alone. Three weeks in, this is already way too intense and way too personal for something that barely got off the ground. Whether you meant well or not, once you're discussing his surgery, his boundaries and your future sex life this early, the whole thing is already off track. If he reaches out, slow it way down. If he doesn't, let it end.

[RichardGarcia]

I would leave it alone. Three weeks in, this is already way too intense and way too personal for something that barely got off the ground. Whether you meant well or not, once you're discussing his surgery, his boundaries and your future sex life this early, the whole thing is already off track. If he reaches out, slow it way down. If he doesn't, let it end.

[RichardGarcia]

I would leave it alone. Three weeks in, this is already way too intense and way too personal for something that barely got off the ground. Whether you meant well or not, once you're discussing his surgery, his boundaries and your future sex life this early, the whole thing is already off track. If he reaches out, slow it way down. If he doesn't, let it end.

[Acacia98]

On 4/5/2026 at 2:27 PM, Anonymous said:

 In his car he asked to see eachothers phones, and asked if I’d been speaking to/been on a date with any other men. I didn’t show him my phone but was honest and showed him a platonic text from some guy who I used to date, asking me how I was etc. I only showed it to be honest and wasn’t flirting. He went crazy at me, shouting, calling me disrespectful. I was shaking at home and still feel rough the next day. I have blocked him on everything 

You shouldn't have shown him any text message. 

It's okay for two people to discuss whether they're dating exclusively and what their policy is on staying friends with exes. But nobody should be demanding to be shown anyone else's phone. And nobody should be yelling at anybody. This guy is way too controlling (frankly, he sounds unhinged), and, like I indicated before, he's trying too hard to accelerate intimacy. I'm sorry you had such a frightening experience. But I'm glad your time together is over.

Edited 5 hours ago by Acacia98

[Sony12]

Looking at the OP (Redarrow's) activity it doesn't look like they have even logged on for almost two weeks now (around the time they sent their last message) so this thread can probably be put to bed as at this point as there is a good chance the OP won't even read what people are saying.

Always kind of amuses me how people often just disappear as soon as they hear some things that they don't necessarily want to hear. Makes me kind of think that some aren't really looking for advice. They just want people to back up what they are thinking.