Anonymous Posted March 21 Posted March 21 My girlfriend and I are currently long distance and she’ll be moving here in about 6 months. Since Valentine’s Day, I started doing something small every Sunday night — I make her a digital card with a message, some photos and music, and she opens it on Monday morning. At first she really loved them and would react a lot. But the last couple of times I noticed she didn’t seem to go through the whole thing. I’m starting to wonder if I’m overdoing it or if it’s becoming repetitive. I still like doing it because it feels personal, but I don’t want it to lose meaning or feel like “too much”. Do you think I should keep doing it every week, or slow it down?
MsJayne Posted March 21 Posted March 21 That's a lovely romantic gesture, but yeah, maybe she's finding it a little overdone, or maybe she's just taking it for granted. Easter's about to happen, you could use Easter Sunday as an interruption to the pattern, that way it won't come across as you suddenly stopping the Sunday night ritual and having to explain why. 1
Anonymous Posted March 21 Posted March 21 14 minutes ago, MsJayne said: That's a lovely romantic gesture, but yeah, maybe she's finding it a little overdone, or maybe she's just taking it for granted. Easter's about to happen, you could use Easter Sunday as an interruption to the pattern, that way it won't come across as you suddenly stopping the Sunday night ritual and having to explain why. Yeah, I was thinking the same… maybe it’s not about doing it that often...
ShyViolet Posted March 21 Posted March 21 Doing the same thing over and over does become repetetive and stale after a while. And since she's not having the positive reactions to them anymore, it sounds like she is feeling that way. I think it's time to mix it up.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 22 Posted March 22 8 hours ago, Anonymous said: Do you think I should keep doing it every week, or slow it down? Slow it down. Your heart is in the right place but a gesture like this can feel predicatble and over-done after a while. It could also leave her feeling like she has to respond in a certain way, not becaue she's actually feeling it but because you expect a certain reaction. Try to be more spontaenous. Surprise her sometimes. Just curious, does she do the same thing for you occasionally? Or is this more one-sided?
Els Posted March 22 Posted March 22 It's way too repetitive. Doing it on special occasions or once in a while is fine, doing it every week starts to feel like a chore for the receiver (since she must go through the photos, listen to the music, and respond in a manner that you approve of). Have you two met in person before?
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