I have tried every method to improve my love life and I’m only left with fixing my bones

[Anonymous]

To give a quick summary: I’m 31 and have never had a girlfriend or been past a first date besides two first days around 8-10 years ago. Most of my 20s I’ve been obese and I spent the last 2-3 years losing the weight. Now I realize that I have loose neck skin and a weak jaw and after consulting with a few offices, the best method seems to be a sliding genioplasty (8-10mm forward). The price is around $8,000 but it’s something I’m willing to do after trying everything else.

I don’t think I have bad social skills because anytime I’m let go from a job, I found a new one in 2-3 months of applying and I do pretty well in interviews, even those where I get rejected due to not having certain skills/experience. The fact that is so brutal is that people cannot look past my double chin and weak jaw. Whenever I’m in a social setting and I see a woman who I find attractive, I look for 1-2 second but she never looks back or smiles. I ask questions like “how’s your week/day” and they just say “good” but never ask me the reverse or get to know me.

On the positive, I know that people will treat me much better and that will make me more confident, which translates to better romantic/professional opportunities.

The thing with confidence is that it’s not some cheap quote from Disney or “coming from who you are” BS. Confidence is a byproduct of success and positive life experiences. I can’t delude myself into thinking I’m worth more than my failures and think I’m attractive when I’m not.

[Gebidozo]

52 minutes ago, Anonymous said:

I see a woman who I find attractive

Question: what type of women do you find unattractive?

[ExpatInItaly]

What is your question, exactly? 

 

[FredEire]

Get the surgery if its important to you. Im absolutely not on board with "Its just looks bro, get over it". It does have an effect.

That being said it matters way more if you are self conscious about it. I had a friend who had a bad cross-eye, very obvious as soon as you met him. But he obviously didnt care about it and after I while I just forgot he had it, I assume he had the same attitude.

He was very successful with women, but I think its a good bet if he was constantly thinking "maybe this woman won't like me because I have a cross-eye", he wouldn't have been anywhere near as successful.

Get the surgery to put your mind at rest, then forget about it and start life as a new chapter. You're at a good age to start laying positive foundations for the rest of your life.

[introverted1]

On 3/17/2026 at 8:45 AM, Anonymous said:

I don’t think I have bad social skills because anytime I’m let go from a job, I found a new one in 2-3 months of applying

How many jobs have you been let go from?  What is your line of work?

The fact that you're implying you've been let go from multiple jobs suggests that there is indeed something wrong with your attitude or that you are in some very unusual line of work in which regular layoff are the norm. 

[Els]

What exactly is a weak jaw...?

What social settings are you talking to these women in? Are you attending meetups and social events, or are you literally chatting up strangers who are trying to buy their groceries?

[RichardGarcia]

I would be careful about making one feature the explanation for your whole dating life. If the surgery has bothered you for years and you have solid medical advice, that is one thing. But do not assume a stronger jaw automatically fixes everything. People can usually feel when someone has already decided they are disqualified before the conversation even starts. I would keep working on getting more real reps in normal social settings while you figure out the surgery question, so you are not building your whole future around one theory.

[DrasticMeasurements]

On 3/24/2026 at 5:28 PM, Els said:

What exactly is a weak jaw...?

What social settings are you talking to these women in? Are you attending meetups and social events, or are you literally chatting up strangers who are trying to buy their groceries?

I’ve been part of a large church in a major city for 4 years and am a member of a young adults group. Within that group, I sometimes attend outings like trivia, housewarming parties and community groups. I’ve not been on a date with anyone from church, or close to a decade.

My jaw is weak in the sense that it isn’t projected enough (chin tip lines up with lower lip is said to be ideal) and I have a double chin despite losing weight and being 170 lbs at 5’10”. Not that heavy, but it seems there isn’t enough bone to advance the skin forward so that’s likely the turkey neck coming from.

[DrasticMeasurements]

On 3/24/2026 at 1:43 PM, introverted1 said:

How many jobs have you been let go from?  What is your line of work?

The fact that you're implying you've been let go from multiple jobs suggests that there is indeed something wrong with your attitude or that you are in some very unusual line of work in which regular layoff are the norm. 

I have a STEM degree and work in the analyst field. Sometimes energy or gas. Most of my jobs were contract (6-12 months) and it’s difficult to get converted into a full time employee with benefits and the works. I’d argue sometimes contract work can be better since many salaried positions end up with 60-70 hour weeks which can make your hourly pay rate less than the strict per/hour wage in contract work AND makes you a workaholic, though it is less secure. 
 

I’m from a small town and moved back with my family for 2 years after college graduation plus worked in a call center which was the bulk of positions there. Those likely factored into why it was hard for me to find non-contract technical work.

 

I’m just getting back to people after a rough work week and forgetting to visit the forum. I admit my time management is kind of poor and I’m trying to address it.

Edited 1 hour ago by DrasticMeasurements