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I have tried every method to improve my love life and I’m only left with fixing my bones

Anonymous

By Anonymous
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Anonymous

Anonymous

Posted
Posted

To give a quick summary: I’m 31 and have never had a girlfriend or been past a first date besides two first days around 8-10 years ago. Most of my 20s I’ve been obese and I spent the last 2-3 years losing the weight. Now I realize that I have loose neck skin and a weak jaw and after consulting with a few offices, the best method seems to be a sliding genioplasty (8-10mm forward). The price is around $8,000 but it’s something I’m willing to do after trying everything else.

I don’t think I have bad social skills because anytime I’m let go from a job, I found a new one in 2-3 months of applying and I do pretty well in interviews, even those where I get rejected due to not having certain skills/experience. The fact that is so brutal is that people cannot look past my double chin and weak jaw. Whenever I’m in a social setting and I see a woman who I find attractive, I look for 1-2 second but she never looks back or smiles. I ask questions like “how’s your week/day” and they just say “good” but never ask me the reverse or get to know me.

On the positive, I know that people will treat me much better and that will make me more confident, which translates to better romantic/professional opportunities.

The thing with confidence is that it’s not some cheap quote from Disney or “coming from who you are” BS. Confidence is a byproduct of success and positive life experiences. I can’t delude myself into thinking I’m worth more than my failures and think I’m attractive when I’m not.

Gebidozo Established Member

Gebidozo

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52 minutes ago, Anonymous said:

I see a woman who I find attractive

Question: what type of women do you find unattractive?

  • Like 1
ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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What is your question, exactly? 

 

  • Like 2
FredEire Established Member

FredEire

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Get the surgery if its important to you. Im absolutely not on board with "Its just looks bro, get over it". It does have an effect.

That being said it matters way more if you are self conscious about it. I had a friend who had a bad cross-eye, very obvious as soon as you met him. But he obviously didnt care about it and after I while I just forgot he had it, I assume he had the same attitude.

He was very successful with women, but I think its a good bet if he was constantly thinking "maybe this woman won't like me because I have a cross-eye", he wouldn't have been anywhere near as successful.

Get the surgery to put your mind at rest, then forget about it and start life as a new chapter. You're at a good age to start laying positive foundations for the rest of your life.

  • Like 1
introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

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On 3/17/2026 at 8:45 AM, Anonymous said:

I don’t think I have bad social skills because anytime I’m let go from a job, I found a new one in 2-3 months of applying

How many jobs have you been let go from?  What is your line of work?

The fact that you're implying you've been let go from multiple jobs suggests that there is indeed something wrong with your attitude or that you are in some very unusual line of work in which regular layoff are the norm. 

  • Like 1
Els Established Member

Els

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What exactly is a weak jaw...?

What social settings are you talking to these women in? Are you attending meetups and social events, or are you literally chatting up strangers who are trying to buy their groceries?

  • 4 weeks later...
RichardGarcia Member

RichardGarcia

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I would be careful about making one feature the explanation for your whole dating life. If the surgery has bothered you for years and you have solid medical advice, that is one thing. But do not assume a stronger jaw automatically fixes everything. People can usually feel when someone has already decided they are disqualified before the conversation even starts. I would keep working on getting more real reps in normal social settings while you figure out the surgery question, so you are not building your whole future around one theory.

  • Like 2
DrasticMeasurements Member

DrasticMeasurements

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On 3/24/2026 at 5:28 PM, Els said:

What exactly is a weak jaw...?

What social settings are you talking to these women in? Are you attending meetups and social events, or are you literally chatting up strangers who are trying to buy their groceries?

I’ve been part of a large church in a major city for 4 years and am a member of a young adults group. Within that group, I sometimes attend outings like trivia, housewarming parties and community groups. I’ve not been on a date with anyone from church, or close to a decade.

My jaw is weak in the sense that it isn’t projected enough (chin tip lines up with lower lip is said to be ideal) and I have a double chin despite losing weight and being 170 lbs at 5’10”. Not that heavy, but it seems there isn’t enough bone to advance the skin forward so that’s likely the turkey neck coming from.

DrasticMeasurements Member

DrasticMeasurements

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On 3/24/2026 at 1:43 PM, introverted1 said:

How many jobs have you been let go from?  What is your line of work?

The fact that you're implying you've been let go from multiple jobs suggests that there is indeed something wrong with your attitude or that you are in some very unusual line of work in which regular layoff are the norm. 


I have a STEM degree and work in the analyst field. Sometimes energy or gas. Most of my jobs were contract (6-12 months) and it’s difficult to get converted into a full time employee with benefits and the works. I’d argue sometimes contract work can be better since many salaried positions end up with 60-70 hour weeks which can make your hourly pay rate less than the strict per/hour wage in contract work AND makes you a workaholic, though it is less secure. 
 

I’m from a small town and moved back with my family for 2 years after college graduation plus worked in a call center which was the bulk of positions there. Those likely factored into why it was hard for me to find non-contract technical work.

 

I’m just getting back to people after a rough work week and forgetting to visit the forum. I admit my time management is kind of poor and I’m trying to address it.

Edited by DrasticMeasurements
Carlston Established Member

Carlston

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If you've got a double chin then you're probably overweight, maybe even obese, is this the case?

If so you're dancing around the BIG problem.

 

DrasticMeasurements Member

DrasticMeasurements

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On 4/20/2026 at 1:17 AM, Carlston said:

If you've got a double chin then you're probably overweight, maybe even obese, is this the case?

If so you're dancing around the BIG problem.

 

My BMI is 24. Not overweight. The main issue is my jawline didn’t grow forward enough. I blame today’s diets.

Vegans and these “animal rights” activists make me sick. They’re creating a malnourished generation because plants don’t provide the tools for proper bone development. No B12 or Iron.

Edited by DrasticMeasurements
  • Like 1
ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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1 hour ago, DrasticMeasurements said:

The main issue is my jawline didn’t grow forward enough. I blame today’s diets.

Were you severely malnourished as a child or something? 

This is very unlikely related to diet. It's your genetics and nothing that more iron or B12 could have solved. 

1 hour ago, DrasticMeasurements said:

Vegans and these “animal rights” activists make me sick. They’re creating a malnourished generation because plants don’t provide the tools for proper bone development. No B12 or Iron.

This tells me you are not educated about where real malnurtition usually stems from in our modern diets. Not that many children are vegans and certainly there aren't enough to create an entire generation of people lacking essential vitamins and minerals. 

Your anger about this specific topic is completely misguided and woefully uninformed. 

  • Like 3
introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

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8 hours ago, DrasticMeasurements said:

The main issue is my jawline didn’t grow forward enough. I blame today’s diets.

"Today's diets" are not the issue.

More likely, it is either genetic or you sucked your thumb as a child, which prevents the jaw from forming normally.

In any case, if it really bothers you that much -- and if your attitude here is any indicator, I'd say your demeanor may have more to do with your lack of dating success than your jawline -- there are relatively simple surgeries that can correct it. 

DrasticMeasurements Member

DrasticMeasurements

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6 hours ago, introverted1 said:

"Today's diets" are not the issue.

More likely, it is either genetic or you sucked your thumb as a child, which prevents the jaw from forming normally.

In any case, if it really bothers you that much -- and if your attitude here is any indicator, I'd say your demeanor may have more to do with your lack of dating success than your jawline -- there are relatively simple surgeries that can correct it. 

It doesn’t help to feel shame about the habits I had growing up that may have led to this. The most likely solution is a sliding genioplasty which actually addresses multiple issues, not just looks, but can fix a narrow airway and chin strain.

I’ve never gotten any comment from women saying I have a bad attitude. If it was a problem, I wouldn’t have made a thread like this. Most likely people subconsciously avoid someone if they’re ugly but they don’t tell you why you’re not fitting in.

Carlston Established Member

Carlston

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10 minutes ago, DrasticMeasurements said:

I’ve never gotten any comment from women saying I have a bad attitude.

That doesn't mean that women think you have a good attitude.

Edited by Carlston
DrasticMeasurements Member

DrasticMeasurements

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1 hour ago, Carlston said:

That doesn't mean that women think you have a good attitude.

It doesn’t mean I have a bad one either

  • Like 1
Sanch62 Established Member

Sanch62

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I don't think you need to debate any of this stuff. You'll likely look and feel better from the procedure. I'd just get it done.

Fingers crossed for you, and I hope you have a quick recovery.

  • Thanks 1
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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If you want the surgery and can afford it then get it. You don't need anyone's approval. Do it for yourself and your self esteem. Don't do it to get more success at dating because you may be chocked that the surgery may change nothing in terms of dating.

One advise: you are the way you are because of genetics. Stop blaming it on others and their nutrition. There are types of people that always accuse others for their issues,  it's their mom's fault, the ex' fault, the government's fault, feminisim's fault. That attitude makes a person very unattractive no matter how square their jaw is.

  • Thanks 1
  • 2 weeks later...
Els Established Member

Els

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Posted
On 4/18/2026 at 9:27 PM, DrasticMeasurements said:

I’ve been part of a large church in a major city for 4 years and am a member of a young adults group. Within that group, I sometimes attend outings like trivia, housewarming parties and community groups. I’ve not been on a date with anyone from church, or close to a decade.

So if I understand correctly, you've only been meeting people socially from one church.

That's... like relying on meeting your partner in college. Yes it does happen to people, but certainly not all people and not even most. You need to broaden your social circle, not plastic surgery, IMO.

  • 2 weeks later...
DrasticMeasurements Member

DrasticMeasurements

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Posted
On 5/7/2026 at 1:41 PM, Els said:

So if I understand correctly, you've only been meeting people socially from one church.

That's... like relying on meeting your partner in college. Yes it does happen to people, but certainly not all people and not even most. You need to broaden your social circle, not plastic surgery, IMO.

 

On 5/7/2026 at 1:41 PM, Els said:

So if I understand correctly, you've only been meeting people socially from one church.

That's... like relying on meeting your partner in college. Yes it does happen to people, but certainly not all people and not even most. You need to broaden your social circle, not plastic surgery, IMO.

It’s a megachurch with 10,000 members. Many people between churches frequent events here. 
 

Also, I have my surgery date set up the end of next month. Will be a member of the NAACP- National Association for the advancement of Chin Projection.

 

flitzanu Established Member

flitzanu

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On 4/22/2026 at 10:49 PM, DrasticMeasurements said:

My BMI is 24. Not overweight. The main issue is my jawline didn’t grow forward enough. I blame today’s diets.

 

humans are the only animals with chins

  • Like 1
DrasticMeasurements Member

DrasticMeasurements

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1 hour ago, flitzanu said:

humans are the only animals with chins

Wow, I just figured out why calling someone rat/bird/fish-faced was such an insult.

Els Established Member

Els

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On 5/22/2026 at 12:49 AM, DrasticMeasurements said:

It’s a megachurch with 10,000 members. Many people between churches frequent events here. 

So, you really don't think it's a problem that the ONLY place you ever meet anyone socially is at church?

Like we're not even just talking about dating here, but about your social life in general. Lots of people go to church but also have friends that they met outside church. Why are you against doing that?

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