lots of issues with physical appearance and it's making it hard to ask women out on dates.

[cashny3]

I'm a guy who is 34 years old and there's literally always been something wrong with me physically.

In highschool and freshman year of college I had really bad acne.

Then I had erectile dysfunction cuz of meds.

Then I started losing hair.

Then I took pills for hairloss which gave me erectile dysfunction again.

Now I have rosacea which is a skin condition where my face turns red.

Now my rocasea is under control with cream and meds. But now I'm skinny again and want to lift weights.

But I read that lifting weights makes the rosacea worse.

Now I feel like I gotta choose between having a good body and good face.

WHY CAN'T I WIN???? DOES GOD JUST NOT WANT ME TO BE HAPPY?!?!?!?!

Any advice? This sh** is making me suicidal and I'm tired of it.... I'm only 5 foot 8 height wise but I'm skinny and in NYC that's not what attractive women go for. (and no looks aren't completely subjective because then we would see a bunch of fat guys walking around with models)

Is anyone else going through this?? Is there any hope for me??

[Gebidozo]

3 hours ago, cashny3 said:

Now I feel like I gotta choose between having a good body and good face.

There are a lot of people who have neither.

In a world where some people are born with horrible deformities, suffer from extreme diseases, or lose body parts in accidents, your complaints don’t really register as substantial.

 

3 hours ago, cashny3 said:

WHY CAN'T I WIN????

What a strange question. Life isn’t a competition.

 

3 hours ago, cashny3 said:

DOES GOD JUST NOT WANT ME TO BE HAPPY?!?!?!?!

Theological issues aside, happiness isn’t something you just get from either God or any other external source but yourself.

 

3 hours ago, cashny3 said:

Any advice?

Yes. Always compare yourself to people who are less fortunate than you, not those that you perceive as more fortunate. You’ll be surprised how high on the list of objective happiness you actually are.

 

3 hours ago, cashny3 said:

I'm only 5 foot 8 height wise but I'm skinny and in NYC that's not what attractive women go for.

Didn’t I tell you about my friends who are shorter than you and have a lot of success with women? Did you even read what I wrote?

Regardless, the strange thing is that you consider yourself unattractive yet for some reason expect attractive women to go for you. That doesn’t make any sense. If you aren’t very attractive, then you should try your luck with women who are roughly in the same range as you.

 

3 hours ago, cashny3 said:

looks aren't completely subjective because then we would see a bunch of fat guys walking around with models

There you go again. Why would you expect models to go for fat guys? Female models probably go for male models. Or for men who look like models. Or for men who have some other qualities that would match their own physical attractiveness.

I think that you should start working ASAP on what really makes you unattractive to women: your sense of entitlement.

You seem to think that you deserve to be with attractive women by virtue of… what, exactly? Being a dude? Entitlement on behalf of the entire gender isn’t any better than personal entitlement.

You keep complaining about your life, which is a huge turn off for most women. If you have no enthusiasm for yourself, why would others?

Count your blessings, start loving your life, and for goodness’s sake stop thinking about models.

[cashny3]

16 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

There are a lot of people who have neither.

In a world where some people are born with horrible deformities, suffer from extreme diseases, or lose body parts in accidents, your complaints don’t really register as substantial.

 

What a strange question. Life isn’t a competition.

 

Theological issues aside, happiness isn’t something you just get from either God or any other external source but yourself.

 

Yes. Always compare yourself to people who are less fortunate than you, not those that you perceive as more fortunate. You’ll be surprised how high on the list of objective happiness you actually are.

 

Didn’t I tell you about my friends who are shorter than you and have a lot of success with women? Did you even read what I wrote?

Regardless, the strange thing is that you consider yourself unattractive yet for some reason expect attractive women to go for you. That doesn’t make any sense. If you aren’t very attractive, then you should try your luck with women who are roughly in the same range as you.

 

There you go again. Why would you expect models to go for fat guys? Female models probably go for male models. Or for men who look like models. Or for men who have some other qualities that would match their own physical attractiveness.

I think that you should start working ASAP on what really makes you unattractive to women: your sense of entitlement.

You seem to think that you deserve to be with attractive women by virtue of… what, exactly? Being a dude? Entitlement on behalf of the entire gender isn’t any better than personal entitlement.

You keep complaining about your life, which is a huge turn off for most women. If you have no enthusiasm for yourself, why would others?

Count your blessings, start loving your life, and for goodness’s sake stop thinking about models.

I don't consider myseld UNattractive by default. I like my face. I'm usually considered average looking but have gotten compliments on my beard and eyes. this is going to sound fcked up of me but I'm worried that I will be mostly limited to women who are overweight. not that they don't deserve love but I hate always wondering if someone is "too hot" for me. People also swear I look better bald. obviously people can just compliment you to make you feel better but I'm not convinced I'm ugly by any means. the girl who introduced me to red pill blue pill dating rated me a 6/10 though so take it with what you will I guess. I lowkey think my issue is that I rarely ask women out. But I don't see anyone like me with a partner that looks desirable to me. so it looks like my only options are going to be women I don't find attractive unless I get really lucky.  I've spent ages on dating apps. occassionally I'll try to ask someone out and it goes nowhere. But I think my biggest insecurity is livng with my parents as you probably saw on my other posts. curious where your short friend lives. they say dating in nyc is really hard.

Edited February 12 by cashny3

[Gebidozo]

1 hour ago, cashny3 said:

curious where your short friend lives

It’s not just one short friend. I have several short friends who are very successful with women. They all live in big cities comparable to New York.

I have the impression that the messages I write here in response to yours just glide over you and don’t really register.

Several times I told you that it’s your entitled attitude and your complaints about life that turn off women. They are a much bigger problem than your looks.

And yet every time you reply with more nonsense of just that kind - “I’m worried that I’ll mostly be limited to overweight women” etc.

It’s like you don’t even read what I write at all. You just keep responding with the same mantra.

I’m going to stop replying to your posts unless something changes and you actually begin to listen to what I’m trying to tell you and begin to seriously deal with the problems of your mindset.

 

[basil67]

1 hour ago, cashny3 said:

I don't consider myseld UNattractive by default. I like my face. I'm usually considered average looking but have gotten compliments on my beard and eyes. this is going to sound fcked up of me but I'm worried that I will be mostly limited to women who are overweight. not that they don't deserve love but I hate always wondering if someone is "too hot" for me. People also swear I look better bald. obviously people can just compliment you to make you feel better but I'm not convinced I'm ugly by any means. the girl who introduced me to red pill blue pill dating rated me a 6/10 though so take it with what you will I guess. I lowkey think my issue is that I rarely ask women out. But I don't see anyone like me with a partner that looks desirable to me. so it looks like my only options are going to be women I don't find attractive unless I get really lucky.  I've spent ages on dating apps. occassionally I'll try to ask someone out and it goes nowhere. But I think my biggest insecurity is livng with my parents as you probably saw on my other posts. curious where your short friend lives. they say dating in nyc is really hard.

The bolded has summed up 'leagues' and 'punching above your weight'.  It is a thing. 

And your issue isn't that you don't approach women.  Instead, it's your obsticables are your objectification of women and general unhappiness in life.

[ExpatInItaly]

Think this is going to start going around in circles any time now...