Cuddle-party.

[penkitten]

are you actually wanting to give away thirty dollars to go cuddle with strangers?

 

i know lots of strangers that will cuddle you and watch a movie if you will just be willing to bring the popcorn and you can send me the thirty bucks because this is just so ridiculous!!

[Bogun]

Due to harsh negative feedback I have obtained from the Christian site, and from my parents, I'm not able to go to a cuddle-party.

 

I tend to disagree, but appearently, I'm overwhelmed by the negative feed-back with my mom threatening to virtually disown me.

 

Thrawn, hmmm you're the 30 year old virgin right? Why on earth are you seeking permission from your mother, to do things at the age of 30???? Perhaps the answer to all your problems is to MOVE AWAY FROM YOUR MOTHER!!!

 

Do you want to be like principal Skinner from The Simpsons when you hit 40???

[Admiral Thrawn]

are you actually wanting to give away thirty dollars to go cuddle with strangers?

 

i know lots of strangers that will cuddle you and watch a movie if you will just be willing to bring the popcorn and you can send me the thirty bucks because this is just so ridiculous!!

 

Women strangers? Ok, you are on.

[Admiral Thrawn]

Ok, I have decided to cancel the cuddle-party.

[penkitten]

Women strangers? Ok, you are on.

wait, do they have to have all their teeth?

[Admiral Thrawn]

wait, do they have to have all their teeth?

 

Yes. You mean you do not know any hot attractive 10+ girls that are waiting to cuddle with me?

[ReluctantRomeo]

I'm 2 months less than 30 years old.

 

And your mother exercises such a determining role in your romantic choices?

 

In the case of the cuddle party, I agree with her. But you need to be able to make good decisions for yourself.

 

I agree with Outcast. Go see a counsellor. As a 16 year old (which I was assuming you were) you would be a little socially inept and dominated by your mum, but one could hope that the early 20s life - including leaving home - would sort this out. But at 30, your state is positively worrying.

[a4a]

AT have you had dates? I am not being an ass to you, I think it is so self destructive of you to deny the normal pleasures of life because of guilt.

 

You are 30 years old, you are an adult, you are capable of making adult choices about your own life. Unless your parents need your care around the clock you should be out on your own.

 

Quite honestly I think you need to speak to a professional ASAP! And this is your business, not your mothers or your church members.

 

a4a

[Admiral Thrawn]

* ahem * any advice people are making about seeing a councellor is generally perceived as offensive and/or as insulting and does not deal with the economic realities of the situation. Now, I'm sure that everyone here, may have a great job, an be able to afford their own home, or even rent a decent place, but it is not the same for me. I'm entirely economically dependent on my mom to support me, and simply do not have the choice to walk out or leave, unless it is to go on the streets, which would be a fate much worst than being dependent on my mom.

[a4a]

I did not mean it as an insult. There is nothing insulting about the suggestion to attempt to ease your pain or deal with a problem using professional help. You must admit that your posts do seem to lead a reader to believe your situation is quite out of the norm for this day and age. I think people were expressing their honest concern for you. That is all. Being different is just fine, that is not the issue. Your unmet needs are the issue correct?

 

a4a

[whichwayisup]

Can I make a comment here...The fact you're still living at home, I completely understand the financial reasons, but at 29, almost 30, your mom should NOT be running your life. Nor should you be running YOUR PRIVATE life past her. You are not a child anymore and don't need "mothering" anymore. Religious reasons or not, your mom shouldn't be knowing what you do in your spare time outside of the house. Just because you're still at home, doesn't give her the right to control your life. I hope you see what I'm saying...

 

Cuddle party or not, YOU are incharge of your own life.

[Admiral Thrawn]

A councellor is not going to change economic reality, only a good job, or some good Real-Estate deals are going to impact economic realities. I budget already like crazy. If you dont have good credit, or money to support yourself, you are like a nobody. I do not need a councellor, I need some really good clients who dont waste my time, and are ready to buy a big home, so I can get paid a big commission cheque, that is exactly what I need.

 

My mother supports my accomidation, although I contribute a bit here and there. You owe deference to someone who is supporting you.

 

On the other hand, they would not want me to go crazy, and just walk out of the house either and become a homeless person they cant reach without any fixed address. That type of behaviour seems to get them on the edge.

[whichwayisup]

You owe deference to someone who is supporting you.

 

Yes, but that doesn't give her the right to control your life and you don't have to run YOUR Personal life past her. IF you wanna go to the cuddle party, that is your own private business. She should have NO say in the matter because of how old you are.

 

This has nothing to do with your status at work. I'm talking about home issues and her controlling you and putting her stamp on how your life should be run.

[Me I Think]

Admiral Thrawn

I have read several of your post over time believe me you in fact do need help. Professional Help. You are 30 and live with your Mom man. I haven't lived with my parents since I was 17 and if I called my mom now and said I was going to a cuddle party ( I am married and would not go to one of these) She would probably ask why I was telling her. BTW didn't we all have cuddle partys when we were like 14 only we called them all night skates. That is baisicly what those were for I do not recall seeing any 30 year olds walking around then. The point I am trying to make is that cuddle partys seem to be for kids to flirt not for grown people.

Also just for the record you said you need good credit No you don't need credit at all I own 3 cars one race car I am self employed making good money and am only about 2 to 3 years from paying cash for a new house I have never financed anything in my life no credit fraud cards either check out some of the debt free living sites on the internet. Yuo can do more without credit than you can with it.

[Chris777]

Admiral, I am a bit concerned at you for even looking at something such as this. Then on top of that asking a group comprised mostly of non believers/borderline heretics, if they think its ok? I would have PM'd you, but you apparently have it inactive.

As for touch, do you not get this at all in church? I am sometimes uncomfortable at the amount of hugs and handshakes given at church, especialy from strangers. And not just one church many I have visited.

We all get lonely , but what you are describing is just the flipside of pornography. Think about how you would councel a brother if he were to come ask about it? Is their a reason you havent asked the pastor at your church?, or the deacons? you know there is. One blatant thing about a temptation, is that it is, what it is, tempting. So much so, you felt the need to ask strangers permission to justify it. If it is a good thing then you should be able to clearly find scriptural endorsement for it easily, and if not then you should know who its author is. I know things are difficult, I have been divorced since 97, went on a couple of "dates" in 98, and now nothing. Paitence is a good thing, especially compared to the pain that impaitence breeds.

I would love to meet a girl who believes what I do, and if I do great, if not, this life is but a vapor, the only times I dont see that is when I ponder on the things of this world. Pray on your situation, their are many advantages to being single, as well as married. Be cautious of whom you ask advice of, not everyone has a good sense of direction. Do not give pearls to swine. Meditate on that verse in its entirity.

[Admiral Thrawn]

Admiral, I am a bit concerned at you for even looking at something such as this. Then on top of that asking a group comprised mostly of non believers/borderline heretics, if they think its ok? I would have PM'd you, but you apparently have it inactive.

 

Actually this topic was raised on a Christian site. My mother has the last word anyway, and she does not like cuddle parties.

 

As for touch, do you not get this at all in church?

 

Hugs and handshakes have been forms of greeting communication in the church. In answer to your question, yes.

 

I am sometimes uncomfortable at the amount of hugs and handshakes given at church, especialy from strangers. And not just one church many I have visited.

 

I see.

 

We all get lonely , but what you are describing is just the flipside of pornography.

 

Flipside of pornography? There is no nudity in this stuff.

 

Think about how you would councel a brother if he were to come ask about it? Is their a reason you havent asked the pastor at your church?, or the deacons? you know there is.

 

Because the internet is an anonymous venue. I dont want offline people, with the exception of my parents, to know what is going on inside my mind.

 

One blatant thing about a temptation, is that it is, what it is, tempting. So much so, you felt the need to ask strangers permission to justify it.

 

The first dominoe was an economic consideration. I was worried about having Sunday free, just in case I have a Real-Estate issue. There was a 'mental imbalance' somewhere about the idea and I just flipped on it. It was disclosed to my parents, and then to the internet within a couple of days. If I was more successful in my business, the liklihood, is I may have gone ahead with it, and nobody would have known about it, except God, the participants at the Cuddle party, and the angels and other spirits.

 

My main concern is just making another Real-Estate deal, not a cuddle party.

 

 

If it is a good thing then you should be able to clearly find scriptural endorsement for it easily, and if not then you should know who its author is. I know things are difficult, I have been divorced since 97, went on a couple of "dates" in 98, and now nothing. Paitence is a good thing, especially compared to the pain that impaitence breeds.

 

I think this is a borderline scriptural area. It is not a vice activity.

 

I would love to meet a girl who believes what I do, and if I do great, if not, this life is but a vapor, the only times I dont see that is when I ponder on the things of this world. Pray on your situation, their are many advantages to being single, as well as married. Be cautious of whom you ask advice of, not everyone has a good sense of direction. Do not give pearls to swine. Meditate on that verse in its entirity.

 

Of course. It seems that nobody here has endorsed the Cuddle Party, no matter what they have believed.

[Chris777]

Actually this topic was raised on a Christian site. My mother has the last word anyway, and she does not like cuddle parties.

actually someone else has the last word

 

 

Flipside of pornography? There is no nudity in this stuff.

prostitution might have been a better choice of wording, and flipside, meaning it is hiding on the other side of what you were looking at.

Because the internet is an anonymous venue. I dont want offline people, with the exception of my parents, to know what is going on inside my mind.

My point is you are a sheep asking wolves for advice

 

The first dominoe was an economic consideration. I was worried about having Sunday free, just in case I have a Real-Estate issue. There was a 'mental imbalance' somewhere about the idea and I just flipped on it. It was disclosed to my parents, and then to the internet within a couple of days. If I was more successful in my business, the liklihood, is I may have gone ahead with it, and nobody would have known about it, except God, the participants at the Cuddle party, and the angels and other spirits.

My main concern is just making another Real-Estate deal, not a cuddle party.

was this some sort of business party?

Of course. It seems that nobody here has endorsed the Cuddle Party, no matter what they have believed.

that wasnt the point I was trying to impress to you

[Admiral Thrawn]

actually someone else has the last word

 

But I have the final decision on whether I go to the cuddle party or not.

I excercised my free-choice not to go. I could have also decided to go.

 

prostitution might have been a better choice of wording, and flipside, meaning it is hiding on the other side of what you were looking at.

 

I've never been with a prostitute. There is no prostitutes at the cuddle party.

 

My point is you are a sheep asking wolves for advice

 

I understand what you are saying. It wasn't really advice I was looking for, but rather feedback on what people here thought about the cuddle-party concept. Even if everyone here encouraged me to go, doesn't mean I would have gone anyway. The idea was already rejected by a Christian board.

 

was this some sort of business party?

 

No, but there is always a possiblility, anyone, in the public, and even at a Cuddle Party, may be a potential home-buyer or seller. Although, it would be odd to get to know them in a cuddle-context, and then solicit them to buy or sell a home. That would be wierd business. I never get intimate with my clients. I'm just interested in just doing my job, which I'm not really that successful with anyway. I dont think hugging clients will help sell homes though.

[Chris777]

on an aside note out of curiocity, and possible interest my self

how long have you been selling real estate?

Did it take long to get licenced?

how physically demanding is the job (I am having a miserable time physically, getting fired from a desk job after my pain jumped to an un manageable level)

 

My uncle does it , and has been trying to get my mom to go in with him.

I have thought about it, but I am concerned with the market being a bubble and bursting.

 

Do you enjoy it?

[Admiral Thrawn]

on an aside note out of curiocity, and possible interest my self

how long have you been selling real estate?

 

2 years.

 

Did it take long to get licenced?

 

I only know about Ontario, Canada. If you live in a different jurisdiction, they may have different rules/laws.

 

how physically demanding is the job (I am having a miserable time physically, getting fired from a desk job after my pain jumped to an un manageable level)

 

You cant get fired, but you can get frustrated. If you are not making money in the business, then it is similar to being underemployed or unemployed.

 

It is more psychologically demanding because your income is unpredictable. You may, as myself, struggle to make a single deal for over a few months, while you are burning money for advertising, gas and living expenses, while getting the run-around or outright disloyalty from people you are working with. So, in a sence is not a * real * job in the sence of it, as you are too much at the mercy of the elements.

 

I can not save money or even budget myself because whatever I make keeps getting eaten up when there is no income is coming in for a prolonged period of time. If you have a predictable income scale, have to be at work, then you can start budgeting and saving.

 

In answer to your question, it is not at the least physically demanding.

 

My uncle does it , and has been trying to get my mom to go in with him.

I have thought about it, but I am concerned with the market being a bubble and bursting.

 

Do you enjoy it?

 

Personally, I want to change to a more stable career. My income fluctuates too wildly to see this as a viable future. How are you going to support yourself if too much of your income goes to business expenses? How would you feel, if you need to make a deal to make a mortgage payment, and you get a run-around from a client, or they go to another agent after investing allot of time and expense on it? You can see why I would switch this if I had opportunity to get a decent job.

[Moai]

So you are saying, if anyone you knew, went up to you out of the blue, one day and said "You have lovely curley hair. Can I comb my fingures through it or feel your beautiful hair?" You would be cool with that?

 

You know, it's funny, but strange people touch me all the time, and you sort of have to be cool with that. Freaking out would just make it worse!

 

I have a tattoo on my right arm that is of, big surprise, and Easter Island scene. It is very colorful and detailed (and was done freehand!), and when people see it they sometimes grab my arm and pull it to them to look closer--without asking! There I am in the check-out line in the grocery store and suddenly this little old lady is trying to pull my arm out of its socket and twisting my arm in impossible ways. At first I was taken aback but it happens so often that I just let these people move my arm around and rub it or whatever, accept the compliment, and go on with life.

 

I saw the show on Showtime (it was in a Penn and Teller epsiode, I think), and thought it was the lamest thing I have ever seen, so I wouldn't go to one. I have lots of "huggy" friends, so I don't lack that kind of touch at all. In fact, sometimes all the hugging gets to be a bit much, but it is important to them so I go with it.

[Admiral Thrawn]

You know, it's funny, but strange people touch me all the time, and you sort of have to be cool with that. Freaking out would just make it worse!

 

I have a tattoo on my right arm that is of, big surprise, and Easter Island scene. It is very colorful and detailed (and was done freehand!), and when people see it they sometimes grab my arm and pull it to them to look closer--without asking! There I am in the check-out line in the grocery store and suddenly this little old lady is trying to pull my arm out of its socket and twisting my arm in impossible ways. At first I was taken aback but it happens so often that I just let these people move my arm around and rub it or whatever, accept the compliment, and go on with life.

 

I saw the show on Showtime (it was in a Penn and Teller epsiode, I think), and thought it was the lamest thing I have ever seen, so I wouldn't go to one. I have lots of "huggy" friends, so I don't lack that kind of touch at all. In fact, sometimes all the hugging gets to be a bit much, but it is important to them so I go with it.

 

Right, so it is cool to go to a cuddle-party if you want to go, just like any other party. You obviously do not have any other 'convictions' further than whether you lack or do not lack that type of touch. I'm sure you dont have sex with all your huggy friends, just like I wouldn't have sex because I'm at a cuddle party, or after a cuddle-party. It's rather strange that people would think that one is after sex if they are going after a cuddle-party. I am interested in a cuddle-party, or was interested, but that doesn't mean that this was a ploy to have sex with people that I successfully bonded with and cuddled up with.

 

Anyway, regardless of our differences of faiths, ironically, I feel the same way too. I personally think it is morally irrelevant, and think it is purely a matter of personal taste of one wants to go to such a party or not.

[Moai]

Right, so it is cool to go to a cuddle-party if you want to go, just like any other party.

 

Exactly. I don;t think that I would get along very well with people who would go to a cuddle-party--unless they were going as a goof. I don't dig hippies all that much either, but they don't dig me usually so we;re even!

 

You obviously do not have any other 'convictions' further than whether you lack or do not lack that type of touch. I'm sure you dont have sex with all your huggy friends, just like I wouldn't have sex because I'm at a cuddle party, or after a cuddle-party.

 

No-sex is a cuddle-party law.

 

It's rather strange that people would think that one is after sex if they are going after a cuddle-party. I am interested in a cuddle-party, or was interested, but that doesn't mean that this was a ploy to have sex with people that I successfully bonded with and cuddled up with.

 

There is no doubt in my mind that there are pervs out there who go to a cuddle-party in the hopes of hooking up AFTER said cuddle-party.

 

Anyway, regardless of our differences of faiths, ironically, I feel the same way too. I personally think it is morally irrelevant, and think it is purely a matter of personal taste of one wants to go to such a party or not.

 

Cuddling is normal and while intimate, need not have a sexual component. In fact, most of the time it doesn't. I think that people who are anti-cuddle-party for those reasons are wigged-out about their sexuality, frankly. For mew it would be like watching "Steel Magnolias". I am sure it's good and fun, but it is not aimed at my demographic.