What do you do if you run into someone who Ghosted you?

[Nerdy4Sharks]

I had this guy I have known for years, who had been a close friend, and never showed any interest in me other than a friend, randomly text me last month flirting with me and hinting for an intimate encounter. Long story short, afterwards he ghosted me. We haven't spoken in over 2 weeks. 3 days ago I ran into him at a bar he was working (I didn't know he worked there). He tried to avoid direct eye contact, but I would catch him looking. A few times it looked as if he wanted to say something to me but never did. I don't if I handled the situation correctly, as I do like this guy but I avoided talking to him and I made sure that the other bartender helped me instead. Was this the right move to make?

[basil67]

A combination of not engaging and not making a scene - you handled it perfectly.   

[ShyViolet]

Yes I think the way you handled it was right.  What's the alternative?  Confronting him?  I think confronting a person in this situation would be ridiculous and immature.  There's no point.  The best thing to do is just go about your business and act like you don't care.

[Acacia98]

13 hours ago, Nerdy4Sharks said:

I don't if I handled the situation correctly, as I do like this guy but I avoided talking to him and I made sure that the other bartender helped me instead. Was this the right move to make?

You did well.

[ThorLyonsSalem]

Happened to me more times than I care to remember now. If and when you see them again, and you happen to make eye contact, give them a smile. Chances are they are too awkward or embarrassed or feeling guilty about what did/didn't happen, but that's life. It says to the other "no hard feelings" (even if it is/was), then you move on. 

[Sanch62]

Yes, you did the right thing. If this is the guy from your last thread, you already confronted him with how you felt. He discussed it with you, and he's done. So there would be no point in cornering him where he works to engage further.

You will get past him and find someone better for you. Point your focus there, and you will thank yourself.

[Nerdy4Sharks]

Thank you everyone! It was the same guy from my last post. I had a few people that I had acted immature about ignoring him, but I didn't do it out of spite or anything like that, I did it because I one didn't know what to say, didn't really have anything to say to him and I didn't want to make the encounter anymore awkward for him, especially with him being at work. I do still like this person and for the most part they are a good person, I just know that they are going thru stuff I am not aware of. I am trying to work on letting go of things I can't control. But I don't want to do/say things that are out of character for me because I am hurt. I am a good person and want to remain a good person. I don't want to transfer my hurt towards another person.

[Sanch62]

41 minutes ago, Nerdy4Sharks said:

Thank you everyone! It was the same guy from my last post. I had a few people that I had acted immature about ignoring him, but I didn't do it out of spite or anything like that, I did it because I one didn't know what to say, didn't really have anything to say to him and I didn't want to make the encounter anymore awkward for him, especially with him being at work. I do still like this person and for the most part they are a good person, I just know that they are going thru stuff I am not aware of. I am trying to work on letting go of things I can't control. But I don't want to do/say things that are out of character for me because I am hurt. I am a good person and want to remain a good person. I don't want to transfer my hurt towards another person.

Excellent reflection. I always tend to challenge (in the privacy of my own mind) those who would characterize zero drama as 'immature'. If I'd asked for their opinion, I would respectfully follow up to that response with the question, "Oh? What do you believe would be the more mature response?"

You'll usually hear a confirmation of your suspicion that their definition of 'maturity' is to create drama for some abstract payoff that they can't define.

[flitzanu]

best thing to keep in mind is, if someone ghosted you, it means they don't want to communicate with you.

so the last thing they want is for you to speak to them or try to communicate with them.