Talia_ Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 He and I met last year we dated for a couple of months. But we were not getting along and he broke things off with me at the end of last year. We reconnected last month in April at this time I asked him if he wanted to have something casual and he said he ok fine with it and I've gone out on a couple of dates with him already. Ok fast forward to this past weekend.... This is how things went I'm explaining the situation because I'm trying to figure out if I only met her because he lives with her. Or because he actually wanted me to meet her. So he said do you just want to come over and we leave together? (Because he and I planned to go to the movies together) I said ok then I told him I was coming over at 10:30 am and he said his mom would be home a little after 11:00am. And if that's uncomfortable for me that I could come after 11:30 (when it would be time to leave his house to go to the movies). I said no it's fine that I was coming over at 10:30am. When I got there he showed me around and then we sat down and talked. His mom came home and he told me to come say hi to her. And that's when we met and she said it's nice to finally meet me. And then afterwards he sent me a text saying that his mother liked me with a smiley emoji. "Mama Bear likes you" is what he said. Something else that I noticed is that his mother was clearly drunk when I met her I'm not trying to be judgmental at all. I actually saw a bottle of alcohol sitting on the floor that was mostly gone. I don't know maybe I'm just thinking too much? He did tell me previously that his mother was a drinker. He's close with his father after meeting his mother I wonder what he's like. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 51 minutes ago, Talia_ said: We reconnected last month in April at this time I asked him if he wanted to have something casual and he said he ok fine You two have established that this is casual. So meeting his mom probably doesn't mean much. It was just that she happened to be there when you were, and you were both okay meeting each other. Do you want it to mean more? I don't quite understand why you asked him last month if he wanted something casual. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Talia_ Posted May 6 Author Share Posted May 6 2 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: You two have established that this is casual. So meeting his mom probably doesn't mean much. It was just that she happened to be there when you were, and you were both okay meeting each other. Do you want it to mean more? I don't quite understand why you asked him last month if he wanted something casual. He gave me the option to come over at a later time when it was closer to the time to leave his house for the movie. He also seems to care a lot about his family so I'm not sure that it doesn't mean much. Also, he seemed to be happy about his mother liking me. And it seems as if he had been talking to her about me. Hence the reason why she said it was finally nice to meet me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 You clearly want it to mean more, so why not just ask him? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Talia_ Posted May 6 Author Share Posted May 6 2 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: You clearly want it to mean more, so why not just ask him? I don't know what I want now after meeting his mother. I still like him but should I be alarmed by her behavior? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sanch62 Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 6 minutes ago, Talia_ said: I don't know what I want now after meeting his mother. I still like him but should I be alarmed by her behavior? Not if you keep it casual. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 18 minutes ago, Talia_ said: I don't know what I want now after meeting his mother. I still like him but should I be alarmed by her behavior? Why would you be alarmed? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Talia_ Posted May 6 Author Share Posted May 6 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: Why would you be alarmed? His mother told me where she works and told me to come to her place of work and get free stuff. I don't know I guess I'm feeling overwhelmed right now. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 (edited) 2 hours ago, Talia_ said: His mother told me where she works and told me to come to her place of work and get free stuff. I don't know I guess I'm feeling overwhelmed right now. You're overwhelmed at getting free stuff? It's probably going to be low cost stuff As for meeting his mother, there's really no avoiding it if they live together. I remember when my daughter lived at home and broke up with a boyfriend who she'd been dating. He said "but you introduced me to your parents 😫" and she replied "I live with them 🙄" Edited May 6 by basil67 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 31 minutes ago, basil67 said: As for meeting his mother, there's really no avoiding it if they live together. I remember when my daughter lived at home and broke up with a boyfriend who she'd been dating. He said "but you introduced me to your parents 😫" and she replied "I live with them 🙄" LOL, I used to bring every friend and guy I was dating to my parent's house and a guy said the same thing to me once. He said but you introduced me to your parents and I said "I introduce everybody to them." 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 10 hours ago, Talia_ said: His mother told me where she works and told me to come to her place of work and get free stuff. I don't know I guess I'm feeling overwhelmed right now. I don't quite understand what overwhelms you about this. I think you're assigning too much importance to this. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 It doesn't sound like it was his intention at first, but his reaction afterwards shows that he was pleased with how it went. He sounds open to more than casual. I guess that is what your instincts are telling you too, right? Your reaction sounds like you are less sure, especially after seeing his mother intoxicated in the morning with no reaction from him. The fact that he didn't seem bothered by it at all may have made it seem like a normal occurrence. But the truth is it isn't normal for the average person to be drunk at 11:00am. If he thought this was appropriate for you to meet like that, then I would be concerned. If you are rethinking this situation, I wouldn't blame you. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Talia_ Posted May 7 Author Share Posted May 7 2 hours ago, La.Primavera said: It doesn't sound like it was his intention at first, but his reaction afterwards shows that he was pleased with how it went. He sounds open to more than casual. I guess that is what your instincts are telling you too, right? Your reaction sounds like you are less sure, especially after seeing his mother intoxicated in the morning with no reaction from him. The fact that he didn't seem bothered by it at all may have made it seem like a normal occurrence. But the truth is it isn't normal for the average person to be drunk at 11:00am. If he thought this was appropriate for you to meet like that, then I would be concerned. If you are rethinking this situation, I wouldn't blame you. Yes, this is how I am feeling you're exactly right. It felt a little awkward she started telling him how she wasn't going to cook anything for dinner. After we left his house, I told him she seemed nice because I'm sure he wanted to know what I was thinking. He told me sometimes she can be too much. I am trying to keep an open mind. He has an older brother who's married he basically left him with the responsibility of looking after his mother. Based on what he's told me he seems to have a good relationship with his father his mother and father are separated. Now I'm wondering what his father is like. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 4 hours ago, La.Primavera said: But the truth is it isn't normal for the average person to be drunk at 11:00am. If he thought this was appropriate for you to meet like that, then I would be concerned. If you are rethinking this situation, I wouldn't blame you. This is also what I was thinking. I would be embarrassed for someone I was interested in romantically to meet my drunken mother so early in the morning. I wouldn't be if it was a friend. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted Friday at 06:23 PM Share Posted Friday at 06:23 PM (edited) you happened to meet the person he lives with, which in this case is his mother. you already framed the conversation that you were meeting at his house and she happened to be there. this was not a discussion of him expressing how dearly he wants you to meet his mother or any other family. *and, also added the disclaimer of "if that is uncomfortable for you then you don't have to come at this time" -- as in none of this suggests him wanting to directly introduce you. Edited Friday at 06:24 PM by flitzanu addendum Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted Friday at 06:42 PM Share Posted Friday at 06:42 PM Do not read any meaning in it. He lives with her so you were meant to come across her eventually. It's not like he purposely invited you over to meet her, you just happened to cross each other. As for her being drunk ....You date him, not her. It's sad that his mother is an alcoholic but he's still entitled to enjoy his own life. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
johnjacksoon2000 Posted 7 hours ago Share Posted 7 hours ago Thaank you, guys Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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