basil67 Posted April 20 Posted April 20 (edited) 8 hours ago, Joanna3 said: I do see where you are coming from,can I ask why you think it's shocking? @Georgia46 is not the only one who finds it shocking. Though I'd call it 'shockingly sleazy'. I'd feel the need to disinfect myself if I even shook his hand, let alone his penis. God knows where that's been! You say that you don't feel good when the sex is over. I think it's not so much because you want more, but because deep down you know he has no use for you other than being part of his group of gang bang girls. It's because you know you're not special to him. Please stop seeing this guy and get full STI panel run. He's likely to be a walking petri dish Edited April 20 by basil67 3
stillafool Posted April 25 Posted April 25 (edited) On 4/18/2025 at 1:13 PM, Joanna3 said: Thankyou for the advice. I have tried twice now to end it and as soon as I do he goes from reading messages not replying to all of a sudden all over me asking me if I want to come and stay the night Don't try to end it, just end it. Block him so he can't reach out to you again. He doesn't love you or respect you. It is not going to change. Edited April 25 by stillafool 1
Author Joanna3 Posted April 26 Author Posted April 26 16 hours ago, stillafool said: Don't try to end it, just end it. Block him so he can't reach out to you again. He doesn't love you or respect you. It is not going to change. Agreed.
Author Joanna3 Posted April 27 Author Posted April 27 Well update - we spent two whole nights talking about our plans for Monday - he was saying he wants more to see how far it could get said he couldn't wait until Monday and wanted it to hurry up, then I noticed ignored texts this weekend Text him something today and all of a sudden days I can't do monday. When I asked why not - he said no as he was living back at his parents now - well he's been living there ever since I met him so no change?! - and now he's just full on ignoring me. I know I shouldn't feel.upset but I can't help it.
Sony12 Posted April 27 Posted April 27 (edited) 1 hour ago, Joanna3 said: Well update - we spent two whole nights talking about our plans for Monday - he was saying he wants more to see how far it could get said he couldn't wait until Monday and wanted it to hurry up, then I noticed ignored texts this weekend Text him something today and all of a sudden days I can't do monday. When I asked why not - he said no as he was living back at his parents now - well he's been living there ever since I met him so no change?! - and now he's just full on ignoring me. I know I shouldn't feel.upset but I can't help it. Why is he 4O years old and living with his parents. Are you two American or live somewhere else where affordable property is harder to get? Does he work? Edited April 27 by Sony12
Author Joanna3 Posted April 27 Author Posted April 27 5 minutes ago, Sony12 said: Why is he 4O years old and living with his parents. Are you two American or live somewhere else where affordable property is harder to get? Does he work? He works yes and is selling his house so at his parents. It's just the omg I can't wait for Monday I wish it would hurry up and all of a sudden can't do tomorrow night now.
Sony12 Posted April 27 Posted April 27 2 minutes ago, Joanna3 said: He works yes and is selling his house so at his parents. It's just the omg I can't wait for Monday I wish it would hurry up and all of a sudden can't do tomorrow night now. You really need to just stop talking to this guy. If you refuse to do that then there really is no point for you to come here. 1 1
Author Joanna3 Posted April 27 Author Posted April 27 I understand but I like him. We've seen each other weekly
BaileyB Posted April 27 Posted April 27 Joanna, you will get exactly what you are willing to accept. Raise your bar, that’s my advice.
Author Joanna3 Posted April 27 Author Posted April 27 9 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Joanna, you will get exactly what you are willing to accept. Raise your bar, that’s my advice. Thanks xx
Sony12 Posted April 27 Posted April 27 35 minutes ago, Joanna3 said: I understand but I like him. We've seen each other weekly Well if that's the case there really is no point in you continuing to update this thread because you aren't looking for actual advice. You are going to do what you want to do no matter what anyone says here. 1 1
BaileyB Posted April 27 Posted April 27 22 minutes ago, Sony12 said: Well if that's the case there really is no point in you continuing to update this thread because you aren't looking for actual advice. You are going to do what you want to do no matter what anyone says here. Pretty much…
ExpatInItaly Posted April 27 Posted April 27 1 hour ago, Joanna3 said: I understand but I like him. We've seen each other weekly So what advice are you seeking here at this point?
IrinaM Posted April 28 Posted April 28 Joanna do you and this guy ever actually go anywhere? applebees, a bowling alley, a dog park? anywhere?
IrinaM Posted April 28 Posted April 28 On 4/19/2025 at 6:29 AM, Joanna3 said: Last time we were meant to meet up - Tues I thought I had somebody to come with me which is what he wanted, he was like I’m tired I’ve got loads of s*** to sort etc I’ll only do this and that if she’s coming, then it turned out she couldn’t so I suggested I come over and we have some fun instead, he said he didn’t know what to do and didn’t believe me that I had someone. Eventually agreed to meet me. Nowhere and never is this sort of treatment normal or acceptable. Personally I think this would be an incredibly rude and demeaning way for a man to talk to a literal prost. Do you have much experience dating? Did you grow up in a different culture? Tbh I don't approve of hookup culture but that's not even what this is. Telling a woman that she must bring over another woman to have a 3some with is bizarre. Also, I'm curious, how would you be able to procure a random third to recruit to have sex with some dude she never met? If somebody--friend, coworker, whatever-- asked me to please come have a 3some with her & her FWB, I would find it offensive.
Author Joanna3 Posted April 29 Author Posted April 29 On 4/28/2025 at 6:08 AM, IrinaM said: Joanna do you and this guy ever actually go anywhere? applebees, a bowling alley, a dog park? anywhere? No. We always meet at his once weekly,
Author Joanna3 Posted April 29 Author Posted April 29 On 4/27/2025 at 8:42 PM, ExpatInItaly said: So what advice are you seeking here at this point? I like him more than friends with benefits I've realised that now.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 29 Posted April 29 1 hour ago, Joanna3 said: I like him more than friends with benefits I've realised that now. Right, but what do you need our help with? We've all advised you to stop seeing him if you're hoping for something more, because you're going to get hurt. Only you can help yourself beyond that.
Sony12 Posted April 29 Posted April 29 Exactly. @Joanna3 why exactly are you coming here? You clearly have no intention of taking any advice here. 1
Author Joanna3 Posted April 29 Author Posted April 29 8 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Right, but what do you need our help with? We've all advised you to stop seeing him if you're hoping for something more, because you're going to get hurt. Only you can help yourself beyond that. Thanks. And I know. Sometimes it’s good for someone else to confirm it when you’re in the situation it’s hard to pull yourself out of that
ExpatInItaly Posted April 30 Posted April 30 8 hours ago, Joanna3 said: Sometimes it’s good for someone else to confirm it when you’re in the situation it’s hard to pull yourself out of that Ths is where I would focus. It's concerning that it's hard to pull yourself out of this since this man doesn't treat you well and hardly seems interested in you as a person. It's the fact that you have attached yourself to someone like him that needs to be addressed, or you will likely find yourself in a similarly-unfulfilling situation in the future with another man.
Acacia98 Posted April 30 Posted April 30 (edited) Perhaps I'm being presumptuous here, but the way you're responding to folks' questions makes me wonder if you are depressed. Could we shift the focus of this conversation away from the guy and on to you? Do tell us more about yourself (what you're comfortable sharing). Edited April 30 by Acacia98
Author Joanna3 Posted April 30 Author Posted April 30 20 minutes ago, Acacia98 said: Perhaps I'm being presumptuous here, but the way you're responding to folks' questions makes me wonder if you are depressed. Could we shift the focus of this conversation away from the guy and on to you? Do tell us more about yourself (what you're comfortable sharing). Hi, no not depressed it’s just every time we see each other (weekly for past 4 weeks now) it just makes it harder for me. I’m a single mum of 4 and have been single now for 4 and a bit years, I work almost full time, 1
BaileyB Posted April 30 Posted April 30 4 hours ago, Joanna3 said: I’m a single mum of 4 and have been single now for 4 and a bit years, I work almost full time, All the more reason why you shouldn’t be hanging on to this guy… let him go.
Author Joanna3 Posted April 30 Author Posted April 30 3 hours ago, BaileyB said: All the more reason why you shouldn’t be hanging on to this guy… let him go. I understand what you are saying. It should just be fun for me but he is nice, the other day he asked me to go to the shop and lent me his card, we do talk a lot when I'm at his too. He's selling his house and has moved back in with his parents so I don't even know if\when I'm going to be seeing him. I saw him two days ago and he has gone back to his typical reading but not replying my messages.
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