Why don't parents actually play with their kids?

[Huskyhekter]

When Adults play with toddlers, preschoolers, or lower level elementary school aged children, why don’t they actually play? 

What is challenging for your child in a rock climbing race on the playground with you if they know that you are going to let them win, and that you are not even going to try to climb or you are going to pretend and climb incredibly slow?

Where is the challenge when playing monkey in the middle with your parents if you know that they are just going to give you the ball, if them as the thrower, are just going to deliberately drops/fumble the ball, or that when they are the monkey, they are just going to pretend to try and get the ball but then act like they weren’t able to, and just let you win? 

What is challenging or fun in wrestling if the opponent in wrestling is just going to let them win and not even try, or just pretend during the whole thing? 

I mean, if two parents or you and a friend were to play a game they would actually play, but then as soon as a kid is playing with them they deliberately let them win with seemingly no effort, they do not even let the child earn a win, or even let them show the adult what skill they have. The child could be in preschool, kindergarten, or they could even be a first, second, or third grader. The child could even be a next-door neighbor who you have just met regardless, the adult assumes that the child has no skill and therefore cannot play with them.  For that child who was playing, where was the challenge? 

What exactly would happen if the adults were to actually play an example that I gave instead of just pretending and quite literally just giving the kid the win even though the kid is putting no effort into it? What would happen if the parents actually played monkey in the middle, actually played with their child on the kitty Rockwall race, actually played during the relay race, etc.

[Huskyhekter]

Why do people use quotation marks when they talk about their kids sometimes. For example one might say that there four year old daughter “helped“ with a certain activity. Or, I rough House with my friends, but I “ rough house“ with my 7 year old.  Or, my friend beat me in an arm wrestle because he is so strong, but, my seven-year-old beat me in an arm wrestle because she is so “strong”. Why do they use quotation marks sometimes and other times not? Use examples. 

 

Also, why do people put the words for a kid after their sentences. For example, when play fighting with their child they might say that she puts up a pretty good fight and is strong, for a kid. Or when measuring her height, she is tall, for a kid. Or that’s pretty impressive, for a kid. That picture hanging on the fridge is very good, for a kid.  Why do people throw in the words for a kid or for their age after they make the comment? Isn’t  it diminishing? I mean, I have never heard anyone say that person is strong for an adult. So why do they do it with the children?

 

Also a kid flexes their arms and say something like, i’m going to take you down,  or, when you were at the store and you were pushing one of the carts with a  steering wheels and your kid says, i’m driving. what does it mean when the grown-up responds with, Ok, Sure, Kid ? Isn’t this dismissing the child?

Edited March 21 by Huskyhekter

[basil67]

I've got some reearch for you to help answer your question.  Go put yourself into a ring with a champion heavy weight boxer and report back to us

Edited March 21 by basil67

[Huskyhekter]

3 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Please don't have children

Can you please help explain it to me?

[basil67]

Read my edited version above

[Huskyhekter]

9 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Read my edited version above

What does that have to do with this post though? That seems like a completely different subject

[basil67]

2 minutes ago, Huskyhekter said:

What does that have to do with this post though? That seems like a completely different subject

It's exactly the same.  You want adults to use their full skillset when playing against someone who can't begin to compete at their level.   Go get in that ring and see what it feels like to lose and lose and lose and lose again, then report back to us

[Huskyhekter]

5 minutes ago, basil67 said:

It's exactly the same.  You want adults to use their full skillset when playing against someone who can't begin to compete at their level.   Go get in that ring and see what it feels like to lose and lose and lose and lose again, then report back to us  you yourself made the assumption that they can’t play as well.

That’s where I’m confused though. They don’t even give the child a chance to show them that they can earn the wind. They just automatically make the assumption that their kid can’t even play with them. And then they will just make everything obviously fake. And then just allow them to win. You did the exact same thing. Why are you assuming that they would lose and lose and lose again? Why not let them show you that they can play. A child knows how to arm wrestle, they know how to run, they know how to climb on the playground rock wall   

Edited March 22 by Huskyhekter

[basil67]

22 minutes ago, Huskyhekter said:

They don’t even give the child a chance to show them that they can earn the wind. They just automatically make the assumption that their kid can’t even play with them.

This is rubbish.   If an adult is kicking a football with a child, we watch their first two kicks and then play at whatever level they are.   And we put them in a team with others who play at their level and compete at the same level.

Yes, the average 7yo knows how to arm wrestle against peers and will have some success, but they are never going to win against a grown adult.  So a kind adult will use whatever amount of strength necessary to make it a fair competition.  

For what it's worth, my son has developmental issues and has never come even close to the rest of the guys at school in running races.  (I'm using this example as mismatched skillsets in the same game)  My son was really sad about it, so his teacher's aide set up a 'race' where his peers allowed him to win.  These 12yo boys were so gracious in their slow running...and nobody played the fool.  His peers were applauded, my son was applauded, everyone was happy and many tears were shed by parents and teachers.    

Be like the boys and teacher's aide who are really lovely humans and understand the concept of playing at someone else's level.  

[Huskyhekter]

26 minutes ago, basil67 said:

This is rubbish.   If an adult is kicking a football with a child, we watch their first two kicks and then play at whatever level they are.   And we put them in a team with others who play at their level and compete at the same level.

Yes, the average 7yo knows how to arm wrestle against peers and will have some success, but they are never going to win against a grown adult.  So a kind adult will use whatever amount of strength necessary to make it a fair competition.  

For what it's worth, my son has developmental issues and has never come even close to the rest of the guys at school in running races.  (I'm using this example as mismatched skillsets in the same game)  My son was really sad about it, so his teacher's aide set up a 'race' where his peers allowed him to win.  These 12yo boys were so gracious in their slow running...and nobody played the fool.  His peers were applauded, my son was applauded, everyone was happy and many tears were shed by parents and teachers.    

Be like the boys and teacher's aide who are really lovely humans and understand the concept of playing at someone else's level.  

In your example, you said your son has developmental issues. But I’m referring to when any adult plays with any child. A seven-year-old knows how to arm wrestle right? So why doesn’t the adult actually put in genuine strength and resistance when they are playing? Same thing with the other two, a seven-year-old knows how to climb up a playground Rockwall, they know how to run, so why doesn’t the adult actually climb on the Rockwall? Actually run in the race? This way it would actually give the child a chance to prove that they can indeed earn the Win, instead of just automatically making the assumption that they can’t play or that they are going to lose. 
 

Also you did the same thing again you automatically assumed that in arm wrestling they are never going to win. Why are you making that assumption automatically, people do this all the time even when they haven’t even met the child yet.