Kianna_M Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 Or is this just something men say? This guy and I dated for three months he thought of me as his girlfriend but things didn't work out between us. There were communication and trust issues. And he ended up breaking up with me he admitted that he had trust issues. He told me that maybe he and I would cross paths again but for now he wants us to be friends at a distance. And I should find someone else who makes me happy that isn't him. He said I want more from him than what he can give. He told me he needed to find his own way in life but that he didn't want me to wait around for him. He also said he wouldn't dismiss us being together again later in the future. I am not going to sit and wait on him as I will meet other men I am talking to another man now. But I am just curious when men say this is there a possibility of getting back together? Or is this just something men say? Again I am not going to sit and wait around for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 This is not something men say, this is something people often say when they break up. He used a standard, textbook assortment of clichés that are supposed to soften the blow and make the hurt of rejection more tolerable. It works for some people, while others find it condescending. To answer your titular question - yes, sometimes men do go back to someone they dated in the past. I did that, more than once. But I wouldn’t hope for that if I were you. The chances are still very low. If such a thing happens, it’s almost by a miracle. Also, in both of my cases, nobody was waiting for anyone. We broke up and each of us dated other people. At least a year passed before the reconnection occurred. So in any case, of course you shouldn’t wait for him, go ahead and see other men. Whatever happens in the future is anybody’s guess. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kianna_M Posted January 28 Author Share Posted January 28 2 minutes ago, Gebidozo said: This is not something men say, this is something people often say when they break up. He used a standard, textbook assortment of clichés that are supposed to soften the blow and make the hurt of rejection more tolerable. It works for some people, while others find it condescending. To answer your titular question - yes, sometimes men do go back to someone they dated in the past. I did that, more than once. But I wouldn’t hope for that if I were you. The chances are still very low. If such a thing happens, it’s almost by a miracle. Also, in both of my cases, nobody was waiting for anyone. We broke up and each of us dated other people. At least a year passed before the reconnection occurred. So in any case, of course you shouldn’t wait for him, go ahead and see other men. Whatever happens in the future is anybody’s guess. So he basically lied then? I don't see the point of him saying this if it wasn't true. There's no point in saying he wouldn't dismiss us being together in the future. But no, I'm not going to wait around for him I'm already talking to someone else. It's almost by a miracle? Really? Because I've known several people who have done this. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 27 minutes ago, Kianna_M said: So he basically lied then? No. He didn’t say he was planning or even hoping to get together with you in the future. He merely said he didn’t dismiss that possibility. He is right, there is always such a possibility. He just stated the obvious to soften the breakup. 32 minutes ago, Kianna_M said: But no, I'm not going to wait around for him I'm already talking to someone else. Okay… So it looks like you’ve moved on already. Why then do you still want to know what he wants and whether he lied or not? Why all those questions about him and about people getting back together? 35 minutes ago, Kianna_M said: It's almost by a miracle? Really? Because I've known several people who have done this. Good, then you know it is possible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kianna_M Posted January 28 Author Share Posted January 28 I matched with this guy on a dating app and we've been talking for the past four days. He asked me out to get food. But afterward, I realized he's into men as well. I don't want to change my mind about the date because I think it might upset him. He's already said he has issues with his confidence. So what should I do? I asked him if he had been sexually involved with a guy before and he said yes. I don't know what to do now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kianna_M Posted January 28 Author Share Posted January 28 14 minutes ago, Gebidozo said: No. He didn’t say he was planning or even hoping to get together with you in the future. He merely said he didn’t dismiss that possibility. He is right, there is always such a possibility. He just stated the obvious to soften the breakup. Okay… So it looks like you’ve moved on already. Why then do you still want to know what he wants and whether he lied or not? Why all those questions about him and about people getting back together? Good, then you know it is possible. He's said it several times though that he wouldn't disregard us being together again in the future. I'm asking because I want to know if he was lying when he said this or not. I mean he always told me I didn't trust him. So that's why I'm wondering if this is just something men say to women during a break up. Or do they actually mean it when they say it. Yes, I am trying to move on but I told him I would always be open to us getting back together. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 People sometimes reunite with former boyfriends or girlfriends or even marry the same person more than once. This guy is certainly not making any kind of promises to you. He is just trying to ease his discomfort, and yours too, while breaking up. Please do not plan on seeing him in the future. I'd be surprised if that would come to pass - though it's certainly not impossible. Link to post Share on other sites
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